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Messages - 3xsaSeedling

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451
The Seed Discussion Forum / mandatory
« on: August 10, 2007, 11:44:28 AM »
I don't know about that one, Scarlett.  The purpose became  'get out unscathed as soon as possible'.   At which point I then went back to ruining my life myself :exclaim:
I've given fingerprints-that's it.  And I had a fit when they wanted that-still pisses me off when I think about it.  I thought that took nerve.  And after the incident, I felt like I had just crawled out from under a rock.  Suddenly people I've worked with and gotten to know for years act like I'm the criminal for trying to exercise my Constitutional rights.  I no longer have that job OR any of those 'friends'.  I DO still have my fingerprints, but who else have they been shared with?
Sounds paranoid?  Social  Security AND theIRS can always find you.  Remember the one about 'death and taxes'?
Peeing in a cup would not have made any difference in my life.*
I had an 'attitude' problem not drugs. Maybe 'group' would've worked :rofl:
But mandatory now is the same as mandatory then.  Seems to me if the 'problem' never gets addressed, proper individual treatment being the goal, that should be the issue.  As a result, more kids w/problems, more mandatory programs, ...this is so stupid.
How many kids have/had medical problems that go/went undetected?
Mandatory won't help them.

"...there are none so blind as those who will not see".  b.j.thomas

452
The Troubled Teen Industry / ...'post whatever I want'...
« on: August 09, 2007, 03:44:11 PM »
I freaked when I tried to logon and got that error message.  I'm joining ALL the sites with a Fornits signature...

Oh Ca-na-da!

Thankyou

453
The Seed Discussion Forum / Still?
« on: August 09, 2007, 02:01:54 PM »
Amazing how such a small exchange can provoke such large issues.
I was in my last year of high school @ N.E.*  I was finally home and I was going to graduate.  That's what I thought anyway.  
So one of my classes was Library Science: it was kinda cool.  You worked in the library for that period.  So I'm working and I see these  two girls I've known longer than I've been in theSeed:  I nod my head 'hello', and when I get close enough, I hear them quietly singing  "Rockin' Robin"(remember the, old Jackson5 tune?).  Here's the best part:
I never 'got that' until I read Lionel's post here :exclaim:
AND
Even if they had been singing 'Zippity-Do-Dah', I still wouldn't have caught it ...until Lionel wrote that.

Greg: That would make 'us' 'people', wouldn't it?  About time.

It feels better talking about this junk, and feels right doing it in this forum-I'd never have done this elsewhere-Thankyou

When I started reading here, I had no clue why.  Had no clue I was missing years from my life, as well as 'selective' memories.  I still have no clue why.  I know this forum has been a 'safe' place for  me to 'open all the windows and air out the house' so to speak. All in my life that came from theSeed is a few 'quirks' here&there (I don't do 'outhouses'.  Couple of songs I can't take.  Normal stuff, ya know?)  Can you imagine:  I used to think I was 'normal'.  yeahsureright .

I have managed to piece everything back together except my time @theSeed.  So I'm working on '71-'73, but that's for another page...

I do remember Muskey and all 'the suits' coming to visit on Andrews Ave.
That was around the time of the documentary, which I'm shocked is NOT available on line somewhere.  I also remember practicing relaxation and self-hypnosis with my oldcomers family and I still use some of it when I can't sleep.  
This had nothing to do with Art or the group:  I really wanted to 'get it', and I was willing to let go of everything if I had to.  

I am also surprised to find such 'strong objections' to this website.  Don't know if I'm more surprised by the objections or my surprise.

454
The Seed Discussion Forum / Still?!
« on: August 08, 2007, 06:57:47 PM »
Quote from: ""Lionel Ritchie""
You're once...twice... three times a Seedling.. and lo-o-o-ove..you....

Thanks for the epiph(nevermind)...Thanks for the 'realitycheck' there, Lionel.  It's: "I" lo-o-o-ove you, just like @the Seed!  Wait...that's right; you wrote it, right?  Were you in a 'program' too?
Years later I can guess why that lyric got to me.
'I Can See Clearly Now the rain is gone!  I can see all obstacles in my way.'  That one  makes me want to throw electronics out the window   :wink:   Still...
I missed 'Zip-pity-Do-Dah', thank God.

So Greg: Who's 'people'? :wink:

bbasap

455
The Seed Discussion Forum / Robert/Libby
« on: August 08, 2007, 06:43:04 PM »
In my profile, I wrote that I'm a watcher:
What goes around does come around.
I have learned to love to watch...

But I'm in poor health.  Would that make me a 'bad person' too?

456
The Seed Discussion Forum / Still?
« on: August 08, 2007, 12:13:35 PM »
How can this stuff go on still?
Aren't there enough of 'us' to make a dent even?

457
The Seed Discussion Forum / Another 73/74 Seedling Grad
« on: August 07, 2007, 11:44:55 AM »
Exactly.
30-odd years later, for me.  As I said:  'I could've KEPT forgetting some of this!'
Re-hashing this junk.  Doing this here, with you guys, will either save me a fortune or push me right over the edge.
bb

458
The Seed Discussion Forum / Disclaimer
« on: August 06, 2007, 05:13:20 PM »
Please do not mistake anything I post here as approval of or support for Art.  Where I come from guys like him sell bridges.  I don't own/want any bridges.  These are the deluded ramblings  of a former Seedling, nothing more. 8-)

459
The Seed Discussion Forum / Another 73/74 Seedling Grad
« on: August 06, 2007, 05:01:23 PM »
Detached from what: theSeed; the world; yourself?:exclaim:   Sorry -couldn't resist-  I am an uncontrolable wise-ass.  Part of my defense...  
I'm still not sure who 'they' is.  It changes as you go thru life.
When you're 16, 'they' are people who have control and use it 'for your own good'.  If/When you grow into a position of control like that, i.e. become a parent/guardian, you become 'they'.
I've read alot of things that have stayed with me through my life:  I see alot of it here   8-)

"A little power in the wrong hands is a VERY dangerous thing."  
THAT one always makes me think of ART.  Love the pool story, by the way.

I started on Andrews Ave (me&JU).  Then one day, instead of Andrews, we went out to SR84.  (My story can't go there yet.  I still have Andrews stuff to tell!)  

I remember JU.  He GOT IT.  Made me want to 'get it'.  I never did.  Looked for IT everywhere for my whole life too.  There's a futility that comes with that 'cause at some point you realize you've always had IT...just needed 'the manual'...   NOT an oldcomer and a group of strangers talking to me as if they knew me;
 AS IF Art could really see into people.  I wanted that to be true more than anything else.  He could just look in my eyes and see what my problem was, I could fix it and we'll all be on our merry way.  

Back then Art led raps still.  And he was good. It was like being at a drive-in. He could see (when he looked@you, he SAW YOU) and EVERYONE else could see too, almost watch, like Art was a projector.  I remember JU being stood by Art during group one time. They 'worked on him' a looong time.  I remember being awestruck as I watched John begin to 'get it', as if things were dawning on him.  He was so different after that.

The part of me that's stuck in the 70's would still take that from the Art Barker I saw that day, if it meant I'd 'get it'.  He asked me once why I was soooo angry.  Why didn't he know?  Or worse:  not telling me and did know?  If you have a genuine gift (and I watched that, smelled that, could almost feel it myself) how could you not share it with everyone?

So at least 1/2 a dozen times Art and I were eye-to-eye.  I don't think I was impressed.  He regarded me suspiciously-always-and never did tell me anything 'enlightening'. That's when he lost me. Hell: little liar shattered me.


NOTE:  Tho' acknowledged, I resist the 'impulse' to use words like magical and mesmerized.

..."shiny, happy people..." Sounded like a song about 'group'@open meetings  :wave:

We will never really get to detach: our experiences prevent that, and they (the experiences :wink: ) will live at least as long as we do.

How does this stuff go on still?  Aren't there enough of 'us' to make a dent even?

Be back ASAP

460
The Seed Discussion Forum / Another 73/74 Seedling Grad
« on: August 06, 2007, 11:36:28 AM »
THANK-YOU for the acknowledgement.  It's good to b somewhere.
I left in August, 1973.

461
The Seed Discussion Forum / mandatory
« on: August 04, 2007, 12:44:24 PM »
OK So now what?  5 years later I have a question:  what do we do now?  Teach our kids NOT to pee in the cup?  
We all know, when you 'balk' it causes all kinds of problems, don't we?

462
Have at it Julio...I wouldn't urinate on Art if he was on fire :exclaim:

463
N/A/L?!!
Absolutely:  you won't remember me.  The initials were MGM and I was a 16 year old girl in '71.  Still a girl (hell; I'm a grandma now!!) for those sarcastic few... :wink:

464
We're all,"lay-back-approach-with-caution-types" in here.  Anyone notice?
After much reading, and re-reading-I get lost in here, too-
here's what I remember:  
An earlier post about the 'Billy-Jack' days is quite true.  It was very small
and they all lived in the house together as support for recovering from their individual addictions.  Some of them needed/wanted the aggressive kind of help Art, Shelley and Libby were about.  It was ALL  voluntary, in the beginning.
If you were there often enough, you got included in 'stuff', people learned your name and you theirs, felt like you might just be ok after all, in the beginning.
IF YOU NEEDED:  a meal, they fed you; somewhere to sleep, 'sleep here';
clothes?, help yourself; to get clean?we did that AND we don't let each other change our minds.
So came 'the raps' and the rules and being restrained as a practice.  And 'Iloveyou'.  It was honest and sincere and functional.  They were all 'contemporaries' then.  They were theSeed. They were less that 100 still -'69-'70 - and needed MORE room...  Andrews Ave..
Some of the most hard-core people I've ever seen to this day.  Junkies, murderers, wandered into 'Billy-Jack'land and they're 'fixed'!  
Yup.It's a miracle!!   No it's not:  it's 'normal'.   They were in the bottom of their barrels and wanted to get better.  
They could leave whenever they wanted, they just had no reason to.  Art, Shelley and Libby DID help alot of people who really needed to be helped - saved some lives in there, in the beginning
And people do talk to each other
The more theSeed did, the more people talked.  The more people talked, the more people came. '71 was when 'Alligator Alley' was opened, I think.
The time lapses just leave me in awe.

465
The Seed Discussion Forum / Fred Francis reports...
« on: August 02, 2007, 03:19:40 PM »
I'm remembering stuff I could've KEPT living without.  
Have to change my 'quote' now:
"...I found it!!"
oh joy.

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