"Relating it to myself" :smile:I was the youngest person to ever go to the original seed. I was there when Hap and Mavis were there. I was nine years old and went voluntarily the first time with my sister Marcia. I learned about love and honesty there. I met a former comedian who had been saved by the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and had a dream to help the kids he loved in the way he had been helped. I was an oldtimer by the time the Seed moved to what would become the Haunted House. I led rap sessions at less than ten years old and because of the "awareness" you speak about I could call "bullshit" on a grown man and create a breakthrough for him. Was the hotseat tough? Yes it was but it helped people because in those early days it was strictly motivated by love. My second time around things had changed, gotten to big out at St Rd 84. There were many more egos involved and alot less love. Has what I learned there been good? I think so. It did not prevent the battle with alcoholism and then legally obtained narcotics that followed but I think helped me through them. Awareness was a powerful and positive tool for me and that has never left. Because of the seed I knew where to go when alcohol defeated me. I went where Art had and found a way of life that truly "works when I work it". I am gratefull for what I experiened at the seed even the second time around. I went on the Skipper Chuck Show for the Seed when I was very young maybe 12 maybe 10 not sure. Was I used? I didn't feel that way I wanted others to find the peace love, awareness, and honesty that the program had given me. I had forgotten my expeiences there until just the other day or at least had not thought of it in a long time. I am glad I found this place and I hope that there might be some who remember me from those earliest days. Please contact me if you would like at my e-mail address at "
[email protected]". I think that I remembered for a reason and found this sight for a reason. Another thing I gained from my experience there was a personal relationship with God and I believe I am writing here now because it has become time to resolve some of that time in my life. Anybody who knew Art before the Seed became so big that staff isolated him would know that even if the overall experiment may have ended and in some sense failed he was motivated by love and the desire to give away the gift he had recieved in recovery. No world takeover plans just a man lit up with love and a burning desire to help kids. Did Art's ego come into play? Of course. He was a comedian, a showmnan and doesn't that in and of itself reflect a man who sought validation through the attention of others. But could God motivate anyone of us to his work without reward in some form. Was the Seed a cult of the personality of Art Barker? In some senses I would say yes. Anyone who met Art in the early day was captivated by him and the love that he radiated.He was a charismatic figure and displayed pride in things such as his relationship with Jackie Gleason. That sort of thing fed him no doubt. When I recognised my alcoholism for the first time at 18 or 19 years old he was who I sought. By that time he was totally isolated by his staff. A staff that had no concern for a former member who was in trouble. That saddens me still. But still because of him I knew where I had to go and I have no sense in me of ill will regarding his intentions to be anything but a beacon of help. The early Seed like AA would not have have accepted the kind of support that came with strings. Does that make Art a control freak? It works very well for AA and perhaps it was the acceptance of support outside of that principal that proved to be the downfall of the Seed. I learned many things from the seed chief among them was to live from a place of love. I also learned in a deep and abiding way that dishonesty particularly with myself would erode and block that love and the serenity that emanated from living that path. That is what the Seed was no matter what it became. I have recolections of people who influenced me there but some are fussy. Art, Shelly, Hap, Mavis(brutal but wonderful),Charlie, Libby(whose story was heartbreaking), Darlene(I don't want to use the B word but how else to describe her), John and many more whose names I can't remember. I hope there are some among you who remember the time I have described as well. It was a different but important experience for me and I would love to hear from those who remember it as I did when I was there.
Peace I'm out for now
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