Author Topic: for anyone who care......way off topic  (Read 1040 times)

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Offline BarnardlyB

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for anyone who care......way off topic
« on: May 30, 2006, 01:30:00 AM »
So,  As I sit here and look over the girls pics at Myspace, I wonder, what ahppened to us.
Many of us promised to keep in touch, promised to love eachother when we left, promised to be there and be around.
I have about 4 friends from MMS that I still keep in contact with on a regular basis. I have found others who I was once close with and now.......it seems to all be fading away.
 My life is nothing of what it was. I look back to my time and I wonder where she went.
I was strong, (physically) and now im a bundle of blob.
25 year old and to I was my greatest at MMS.
My parents constant struggle to tell me they know who I am but I beg to differ.
I fight a stuggle daily in my soul and its not pretty.
Was it all a lie?? did we just love eachother becuse we knew no other way? yes life moves on, yet I feel as if im the only one who feels such a strong bond with all the girls and most are mad at me for my stand and don't like me becuse of it. that hurts the most. who cares about staff approval but if you girls don't approve, that was and is always a big thing for me.

How could life be so simple yet seem so hard. We struggle and work to make ends meet and at the end of the day, what for. People don't change much, everyone seems old and set in there ways. who are we to tell them different.
why is my glass half empty when to me its full.
I fight a fight that Im not even asked to fight and looked down apon for.

Its overwhelming to me now. I have no idea where to turn. wil it work out or will people always tell me a better way.
I remember being so scared coming home from school and not wanting to drink, or smoke or have sex, even though i never had. and now, a drink after work is at times, what  I look forward to. Im sad, worn down, and am tired of proving myself to people. Im angry again and im angry that im angry. I hurt again and I hate that I hurt.
a bad and hurtful past and people don't even beleive me. A year after MMS I had a terrible experience and my parents still to this day don't believe me. if pictures are truly a pathway to the soul are all the girls truely happy and so carefree???
Ive never been overly school smart, and never been attractive, so i take what i can get. But is that really what life is all about?? looks brains, what about just being decent and alive.
Im angry again, im lonley again and on the out side my life is not ideal but im happy, is that enough??

sorry, a some what tipsy post.
don't be mean,.....just rambles.


_________________
you are you
I am I,
Two individuals dancing on our own two feet, & when were together...its beautiful[ This Message was edited by: BarnardlyB on 2006-05-29 22:32 ]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
ou are you
I am I,
Two individuals dancing on our own two feet, & when were together...its beautiful