Andrea, you said you "push licensed and approved programs". I take that to mean that you push licensed and approved programs. I'm really not looking for a fight. I just wanted to know which programs you push.
My response to your parents letter is valid, I think. It's just incredibly niave to think that people who view thought reform techniques as valid therapy will be influence by a letter like that. "Aw, shucks!
this mother really likes her kid. I guess we'd better jettison all of our beliefs about how to straighten out a wayward teen and do it her way." Pleeeeaaaaze!
And that is consistent w/ some statements I found in your document titled "Things to Remember when Bringing your Child Home for Holidays, School Vacations, and Weekend Visits from Residential or Group Home Care"
http://www.pfrr.org/FS-BringChildHome.htmAsk about the policy on children/adolescents from the program contacting each other during the period of time they are home as some programs do not recommend or allow this for very good safety reasons. Some kids, especially adolescents, may have a history of running away or other issues. In addition, many kids can be easily manipulated or impulsive, so negative influences need to be curbed. This is also reason why it might be harmful for your child/adolescent to contact friends that he/she previously acted out with. If programs do not allow peer contact they are always willing to explain why.
Sure, they're always willing to spend a little time to convince you to never, ever trust your child even to TALK to anyone not approved by the Program. I'm sure there are cases where this just makes sense, but those would be rare cases. In most cases, they just don't want the kids to have any reference or social proof about the Program that they can't control. It's not really that the kid is too dumb or mentally ill to communicate responsibly. It's that they're too smart to not see through the bullshit, unless someone's controling the dialogue.
Some crucial questions to ask: does the program come up with a written plan for your child/adolescent for when he/she is home? (When appropriate your young person should have input in this document or plan.) This can be in the form of a plan or a contract and should be worked on together with staff, parents, and child/adolescent. Some of the following suggestions could be included such as: check-in's, medication (if there is a problem with compliance with medication), return time, curfews at home, and so on. Limits are crucial as well as consistency and collaboration with the program as the young person has to return to the program.
Make sure the little bastard knows good and well that they're going back if they step out of line!
Please remember when programs or facilities have a check in system it is not to invade privacy. Instead, it is to keep the lines of communication open, and let the young person and yourself know that they are there for you.
Sometimes it is intended to invade privacy. Sometimes it's all about getting the kid to internalize group dependency. Why, if you let the kid just go home and not report back at intervals like a battered wife, they might get the dangerous notion that they could do ok for themselves w/o the Program. Can't have that! BTW, the Seed/Straight lingo for this was "dime therapy".
Andrea, all of this advice you're giving sounds very much like what Straight and The Seed told our parents. Of course, this could apply to perfectly legitimate needed therapy. But it can also be spun to legitimize unneccessary and abusive treatment.
With soap, baptism is a good thing.
--Robert G. Ingersoll, American politician and lecturer
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Ginger Warbis ~ Antigen
Drug war POW
Seed `71 - `80
Straight, Sarasota
10/80 - 10/82
Anonymity Anonymousreturn undef() if /coercion/i;
