Known lots of people who chose to focus only on the 'positve'. What I noticed was they didn't deal very well when a harsh reality slapped them in the face.
Not a thing in the world wrong with choosing to view your abuse as a learning experience. No one here said anything about the choice to do so. The argument was about people telling other people that they should be 'positive', talk about the good, and forget the negative. If you're going to preach your philosophy, you can expect to hear others opinions who find proseletizing offensive.
Why do other people's choices bother them? Is it a reminder that all was not well? If they need to focus only on the positive, perhaps this is not the place for them to be. Just a thought.
Trying to understand her experience and viewpoints. They just seem to change depending on who she speaks to.
Examples:
I'm most definently not saying that HLA is the best of places to be, for I would never wish to go there, but I just don't see how people make it out to be as horrendous as some do. I didn't have a pleasurable stay there;
i was always on restrictions, and all that jazz, but it still didn't suck quite as much as i've read. anyways, this is such a bitch fest... look at the good points of it; and if you can't find them, then obviously you are still HOLDING ON... not LETTING GO. c'mon... workshops??
[Is this an example of being empathetic to others views and experience?
How can she, or anyone, claim that someone else's experience wasn't as bad as they say it was???]
then:
actually i would not ever want to trade the experience of HLA for anything.
but in the long run, i did learn a lot
then:
learned that I did benefit slightly from the experience.
counslers sucked wicked bad
academics were wicked easy
i learned NOTHING in there
most definently not saying that the academics are very good
constantly critized for my sexual preference
Staff did engage in relationships with students on occasions though
*****
Still trying to figure out what made it the experience of a lifetime? Academics were inadequate, criticized for sexual preference, counselors sucked, staff engaged in relationships with their charges, etc. etc. Seems the only 'postive' experience was with the lesbian allies. Again, that's all well and good- no judgment.
The police officer comment was not intended as a bash or a cheap shot. Sincere comment and primarily re: the reality of the program. I don't know why Aften was incarcerated, but there are many who should not have been there, if anyone ever should be. Some are pissed about that and will be pissed until they are done being pissed. And in the long run, that may be the healthier route. Time will tell. Stick to what works for you. Don't project it onto everyone else. That's all.
