I graduated in 77 and had my first beer with my dad two years later. I was very conflicted because the seed taught that even a single drink would send us to full-blown drug /alcohol dependancy or addiction. They even said that we would be even worse than before the seed if we 'screwed-up'. I watched myself carefully, curiously...after that first beer. Weeks passed...and still no need to get drunk or stoned arose. But surely it was just a matter of time before I found myself in the gutter..right? That was 26 years ago and it still hasn't happened even though I continue to drink on occasion. Perhaps tomorrow I'll take a sip of wine and have the sudden urge to get sloppy drunk or go score some heavy drugs and go crying on the steps of some program.....or not.
The whole issue of drinking and drugs was vastly oversimplified by the seed, imo. Ironically, one thing that led me to try this first post-seed beer was a guy named Art who was a former AA member and friend of my father's. He'd been straight over 10 years and finally realized he could still drink socially without reverting to his former alcoholism. I know this is AA heresy, but recent studies have confirmed this Art's experience. It is possible for 'some' former alcoholics to drink again. It may be that some people can never touch any alcohol ever, I just don't know... so this isn't meant to encourage former alcoholics to take a drink. There may be a genetic component to this.
Each of us is different. Different brain and nervous system, different psychological makeup, personal history, family, etc. What may be true for one is not necessarily true for another. Most of my teen drug use was a desire to explore, to sample and experience to push the limits....the same motivation that causes many teens to drive too fast, start smoking cigarettes and take unwise risks. I've found that this urge simply passed with growing up.
The heretical thinking is...that this would have also happened even without the seed. I don't like the state of consciousness associated with intoxication. A mild buzz or warmth from a couple of beers is fine, but any time it has gone beyond this ( usually due to not eating beforehand) I find being 'drunk' unpleasant and try not to repeat it. It is no different than the pleasant feeling I get from eating a good meal vs. the very unpleasant feeling of gorging myself. I've learned where to stop. I find my normal state of mind more pleasant than any altered state. Is this because of the seed? My experience observing others leads me to doubt this strongly.
My wife is one of 5 siblings. All 5 went through a phase where they used drugs, some more than others. 4 of the 5 no longer use any sort of drug and haven't in many years. The 5th still uses drugs (mostly pot) regularly & is a problem drinker. This is about the proportion I've observed over and over. It's also close to the proportion who are straight that did go thru the seed and other programs. (Wally made this point earlier) The vast majority of us simply grow up and lose interest in the obsessive use of intoxicants. Her siblings never attended any programs, never went to jail or went insane. They were never stood-up and ripped apart, never learned the steps or rules, never forced to speak, dress and behave in a prescribed manner. Yet they stopped using drugs and went on to live happy, productive lives.
The two drugs that have I've had to battle against the hardest have been nicotine and caffeine. After graduating the program it took over 30 attempts to kick the cigarette habit. I WAS nearly powerless over tobacco...in some measure thanks TO the seed. Now, my battle is with caffeine. I've found that I'm very prone to become addicted to it. I've tried to use it the way I do alcohol...but without success. I'm beginning to think I'll have to go cold turkey. Is there a 12 step program for caffeine addicts? Should we throw Juan Valdez & Mrs.Olson in prison and thow away the key?
