Reasons for being restrained

[mental torture made me li]

Please post them.

In my case, I was started over, then refused to participate. When the girls on either side grabbed my arms to make me motivate, I did what a normal person would, I tried to get free. In this struggle I started talking out loud, not allowed whatsoever in a rap. So to control me they took me to the back of group. Five-point restraint. For trying to get them off me, I got five-point restraint. Hunt them down.

[Antigen]

After splitting and getting brought back (and, btw, I have never been able to remember anything between the Atlanta airport and sitting in group) I refused to apologize to group.

Chris Casselor stood me up, a bunch of people yelled at me, but I didn't lose my temper (like any of that would have been a big surprise, right?) I just told them I couldn't apologize because it would be against the first and most impotent rule. I said I was sorry I'd let myself get dragged back in. And when someone, can't remember who, told me how I had hurt them by making them doubt their program because, ya know, they'd always looked up to me and then I left and then, like, if I split then maybe the program was full of shit I told them that was very astute, the program IS full of shit.

After about 15 min or so of that, Chris said the words you never want to hear "Who wants to sit on Virginia?!" Arms flailed wildly and several girls were chosen to take me up to the front of the group room, next to the door to the office, right in front of the stairway to the timeout room and obs books upstairs. There I stayed, flat on my back for a couple of hours.

One curious detail that I remember about it, though. I had never been involved in a lot of restraints. I don't remember ever being one of the sitters, but it may have happened. Anyway, I was under the impression that they were actually supposed to just hold me down and not hurt me unless I fought.

So I didn't fight. Till Kim C. put her hand over my mouth and nose so I couldn't breath. I bit her. She shouted and pulled her hand away. Robin P., who was then Jr. Staff, I think, came over and asked what was going on. Kim said "the bitch bit me!" I told Robin why. Then something remarkable happened. She sent Kim back to group.

I'll never forget the look on Kim's face. She was shocked, frightened and thoroughly confused. She thought she was doing just what she was supposed to do. I'm guessing that's because that's what had been done to her the many, many times this little 13yo spitfire had been the one spread eagle on the concrete.

After a couple of hours, my legs and back were painfully numb. I knew I couldn't fight my way out. And I couldn't explain the problem and ask to adjust my position. "No talking out" meant they would have just hurt me more. So I started shouting "If I miscarry, I'm gonna kill somebody!" Took about two times, I think. I knew very well that I wasn't pregnant. But they didn't know that and I figured that would require medical attention and so cause much more complication than they wanted. It worked. They let me up. I think I wound up in timeout just after the pregnancy test came back negative.

Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.
--Denis Diderot, French encyclopedist

[Anonymous]

That was pretty smart Antigen. I remember being restrained before that big Saturday meeting they allways have. I remember fighting with all them as they was trying to get me on the ground I grabbed a 5th phasers tie, every push and shove and when they picked me up and slammed me on the floor, the guy that the tie was wrapped around went with me, When I looked him in the eye, I he looked at me with a shameful look. Almost like he was saying he was sorry with his eyes.

[Dr. Fucktard]

You did the necessary things to be restrained--- by TAKING DRUGS!

We at Staff could not just sit idly by as you attempted suicide to alleviate the pain of marijuana withdrawal, or have you endangering the Group with your violent lashing out as you suffered from marijuana-induced flashbacks.  By copping out, you were showing symptoms of both of these, and we simply could not take the chance that you would interfere with another phaser's Program. In the end it was for your own good, and because we loved you.  How typically druggie for you to have such an ungrateful attitude, after all we did to help.

[Antigen]

On 2005-02-07 07:36:00, Anonymous wrote:

"That was pretty smart Antigen.

Thanks. I realized years later that I had a marked advantage over most of the other kids. I was well familiar w/ Program culture and practices. None of it was shocking or disorienting or really caught me off guard. That helped me a LOT. I think if I had understood that at the time, I probably would have been willing to assist in the HRS investigation and to push for criminal prosecution once I got out. I'm very sorry for missing the obvious. I don't know if anything I might have said or done at the time would have helped. But I regret that I'll never know.

It is fear that first brought Gods into the world.
--Gallus Petronius, 1st Century Roman courtier

[misbehaver]

Knuckles down my spine, some asshole trying to force me to motivate, etc. The punks that were too weak to restrain specialized in mouth covering. They were targeted. Had I not been starved (MBer policy), my resistance would have been more effective. I admit that sometimes I actually wanted to join the battle. I had many chances to cop out. I didn't fear them, so why run..? Not many kids could endure the MBer policy. I left that prison on my own terms;no compromise. As much as I despise the program, I know that combat has saved my life. Jason