Until about a year ago I thought that the therapeutic tactics employed by Straight were acceptable and a standard part of "tough love". It wasn't until I entered therapy that I began to understand the impact my treatment had on my life.
Inhumane, crazy-making therapies that I took as standard:
Straight withheld bathroom privileges-staff would not allow us to go to the bathroom. We'd been sitting on the cold concrete floor for better than 6 hours. I went through the chain of command. I asked repeatedly. I all out begged. i cried. It was obvious. My stomach was distended, I was sweating. Two other girls were crying to go. Wanda Minton, Senior staff at the time told the group"If you girls have to go to the goddamned bathroom so bad you can go on the fucking floor cause you're not going!" All three of us did.
That was not enough. I was forced to sit in it and then stand in it while Wanda and Kathleen called on people to tell me how disgusting I was, pathetic, a druggie whore with no self respect. They had me sit in it for the remainder of the rap. This took place in front of the girls group-about a 100 girls.
After the rap they had me clean up all the urine on the floor while the entire group watched. Probably 300 kids or so. I wrung he mop out with my bare hands in the girls bathroom.
I was put on the peanut butter and jelly diet as punishment for going to the bathroom on the floor. The pb & j diet consisted of: two pieces of toast for breakfast, dry and a 2 oz cup of orange juice. A frozen bun with a square of peanut butter in the middle and 8 oz of water for lunch and the same for dinner. On occassion an apple would be included but this was not a regular part of the pb&j in 1980.
I'm sure someone thought we needed exercise since we did nothing but sit or stand in one place all day.But exercise in the hands of staff who were little more than abused kids themselves becam another means of torture. Exercise inside a windowless warehouse in central Florida with the air conditioning shut off. The walls would drip with sweat. Water was limited to 5 seconds at the fountain. To this day I take water to my therapy sessions.
The group was massive then and open meetings went on until the wee hours in the morning. A 2:00am march to the parking lot was common. Unfortunately many people lived 45 minutes to an hour away and once we got there it might be another hour before all the MI's were written & reviewed and everyone showered or just washed up. We'd then have to be back at the building in time for the parent to drive the oldcomer o school and then get to work themselves. I also remember coming in with wet hair from the previous night's shower. Two hours of sleep was common. Four was average and six was an all ot vacation.
I missed one year of school. After I returned I frequently fell asleep during class. People fell asleep throughout the group. People who fell asleep were "avoiding themselves" and were poked prodded and very often confronted.
People were restrained at the back of the group all day long. I remember Ta*&% B0*&^ was restrained regularly. She mostly sat in the back of the group and hummed or sang quietly and played with her very greasy hair. Sometimes staff ignored her other times 5th phasers would poke and prod her, wiggle her arms in the air and when she refused to participate she would end up restrained. One day she just flipped out and threw a chair across the group and violently fought being restrained. They removed her and later came in and announced that she had been taken to Horizon Hospital and would not be coming back. Anyone else who wouldn't sork the program could join her. Nice of the staff to share that with the group. I'm sure Ta789 benefitted from it greatly.
5th phasers stood around the perimeter of the group all day long. On an open meeting night that might mean standing in the same position for 18 hours. I remember my feet literally throbbing by the time I finally sat down. I learned that it was better not to sit down at all because it was just that much harder to stand up again.
I am ashamed to say I once participated in a marathon. We were instucted by the staff to take a girl to an intake room and break her. There were 8 or 9 of us. We formed a circle around her and pushed her back & forth while we screamed at her. One girl rammed her head into her stomach she cried and cried but we did not stop. We screamed at her for several hours until a staff member came in and told us it was enough.
My therapist has commented that Straight's tactics were reminiscent of POW camps. I didn't know he meant OURS. I was surprised to find out that the US government considered these things torture. You'd never know it considering their endorsement and protection of Straight.
There is so much in the bible against which every insinct of my being rebels, so much so that I regret the necessity which has compelled me to read it through from beginning to end. I do not think that the knowledge I have gained of its history and sources compensates me for the unpleasant details it has forced upon my attention.
--Helen Keller, American lecturer
