Author Topic: St.Pete straight 1979  (Read 26152 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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Re: St.Pete straight 1979
« Reply #315 on: December 17, 2008, 10:37:51 AM »
Quote from: "guest1979"
The post two up brings up a good point that I must admit , in my shock I didnt think of. Your perception of John may be and obvioulsy is quite different than mine. Yes memories fade but i think all survivors have those few memories that effected them so much it is a picture like we are seeing it today, engrained in our brain.
To say he wasnt there is untrue plain and simple. He was on junior staff , he was there during the time frame. Remember Margaret I came in before you and didnt leave until 1982 so he was absolutely there during that time. You have to remember i was there longer than anyone had been at the time. Take a look carefully at what I wrote. I NEVER said he abused ME. I did say that he and lethas decision on the 14 day refresher disgusted me. Perhaps though it wasnt their decision , perhaps it came down from higher up but the fact is thats what they got.

I myself was disturbed by going over, cried, suffered nightmares a few nights and to be honest you don't forget when you pull a knife on someone especially on someone that prior to that you had no real bad memories of. Letha on the other hand different story.

As for David Crock I have one of those burned in memories that is NOT pleasent of having my face shoved in a drain for hours in the Gandy building, it smelled like shit. I remember him coming by opening the door to the girls bathroom and saying "Had enough". I saw him four years ago, and confronted him. I will never forget that incident either, its burned in my brain.  
Margaret I NEVER said John abused me what I said was he was there , Letha ordered the beating and i failed to comply, john and letha came in, John was just there because he and letha were in charge of morning rap. To say that staff never abused anyone, mentally or physically or say that any of us never did is to just be in denial. We all did. We did what we had to . The point was some enjoyed it, some only did it to survive. I never saw John as one that enjoyed like Richard KNowles.

Look as a survivor, I have always supported the survivors and have nothing to prove. I just cant figure out how you say he was not there. Ask him he will tell you he was on staff , with Letha. Plain and simple. I did lash out Margaret only because I was shocked that another survivor could flat call me a liar having known nothing about me. For me lashing out at you I apologise. I am human

I agree with what I and many others have said before it should be that we help each other not attack each other.  i have done all i can to resolve this with you, I have said when i was wrong , apologised for my anger yet you have conseeded nothing. Thats ok. I appreciate the insight of all the ones that have posted. But I can see that your experience was diffent with him than mine. Of all the staff, John I can honestly say I never saw him abuse anyone. To say that he was perfect or never mentally abused anyone or never failed as staff is to say that there are survivors and staff that are completely innocent. Im not. I dont know any that are. The question again is who enjoyed and got off on the control and who didnt. Which ones of us did it for survival and truly feel guilty about it and given the chance would from our heart apologise.

i hope this helps and ends this. This energy including my own can be better spent helping each other.

Mh1979

Please see previous post below:

Re: St.Pete straight 1979
by Guest on 03 Dec 2008, 23:15

Margaret, this is John that responded. At the beginning when I found this site you are correct, I did have no regrets. I was thinking only of my self and not seeing what my actions did even though they did not compare to the violence the staff members put you and others through. Someone in one thread made an analogy which really sunk in to me. While I thought I was extending a hand to help people, my other hand was being controlled by Straight. While my intentions were to help, I was actually continuing doing nothing more than carrying out what Straight wanted me to. All the "tools" I thought I had to help were not mine but Straights. In my heart I truly wanted to help people and still to this day, I just couldn't see I was not helping at the time. I do apologize for those actions and there is no excuse for them. However, the things and situations you accused me of in your post are simply not true as I explained in my previous response. While I am guilty of perpetuating the Straight philosophy while I was on staff, I was never physical with anyone and never could or would order someone to be beaten. I had seen enough after the open meeting scene I described and left to move on with my life. Should I have questioned things more? Absolutely, but I cannot change that now and feel terrible for the horrendous things you and others went through and still go through to this day. I understand you being angry at me for being on staff and being a part of this nightmare. I doubt I can change that but if I could I would.

Sorry to you and to all.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: St.Pete straight 1979
« Reply #316 on: December 17, 2008, 02:49:36 PM »
Link to the child abuser/molester Scott Patterson

http://www.dc.state.fl.us/ActiveInmates ... D=21072468

Let  him rot in hell!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: St.Pete straight 1979
« Reply #317 on: December 17, 2008, 11:04:30 PM »
Quote from: "Guest"
Quote from: "guest1979"
The post two up brings up a good point that I must admit , in my shock I didnt think of. Your perception of John may be and obvioulsy is quite different than mine. Yes memories fade but i think all survivors have those few memories that effected them so much it is a picture like we are seeing it today, engrained in our brain.
To say he wasnt there is untrue plain and simple. He was on junior staff , he was there during the time frame. Remember Margaret I came in before you and didnt leave until 1982 so he was absolutely there during that time. You have to remember i was there longer than anyone had been at the time. Take a look carefully at what I wrote. I NEVER said he abused ME. I did say that he and lethas decision on the 14 day refresher disgusted me. Perhaps though it wasnt their decision , perhaps it came down from higher up but the fact is thats what they got.

I myself was disturbed by going over, cried, suffered nightmares a few nights and to be honest you don't forget when you pull a knife on someone especially on someone that prior to that you had no real bad memories of. Letha on the other hand different story.

As for David Crock I have one of those burned in memories that is NOT pleasent of having my face shoved in a drain for hours in the Gandy building, it smelled like shit. I remember him coming by opening the door to the girls bathroom and saying "Had enough". I saw him four years ago, and confronted him. I will never forget that incident either, its burned in my brain.  
Margaret I NEVER said John abused me what I said was he was there , Letha ordered the beating and i failed to comply, john and letha came in, John was just there because he and letha were in charge of morning rap. To say that staff never abused anyone, mentally or physically or say that any of us never did is to just be in denial. We all did. We did what we had to . The point was some enjoyed it, some only did it to survive. I never saw John as one that enjoyed like Richard KNowles.

Look as a survivor, I have always supported the survivors and have nothing to prove. I just cant figure out how you say he was not there. Ask him he will tell you he was on staff , with Letha. Plain and simple. I did lash out Margaret only because I was shocked that another survivor could flat call me a liar having known nothing about me. For me lashing out at you I apologise. I am human

I agree with what I and many others have said before it should be that we help each other not attack each other.  i have done all i can to resolve this with you, I have said when i was wrong , apologised for my anger yet you have conseeded nothing. Thats ok. I appreciate the insight of all the ones that have posted. But I can see that your experience was diffent with him than mine. Of all the staff, John I can honestly say I never saw him abuse anyone. To say that he was perfect or never mentally abused anyone or never failed as staff is to say that there are survivors and staff that are completely innocent. Im not. I dont know any that are. The question again is who enjoyed and got off on the control and who didnt. Which ones of us did it for survival and truly feel guilty about it and given the chance would from our heart apologise.

i hope this helps and ends this. This energy including my own can be better spent helping each other.

Mh1979

Please see previous post below:

Re: St.Pete straight 1979
by Guest on 03 Dec 2008, 23:15

Margaret, this is John that responded. At the beginning when I found this site you are correct, I did have no regrets. I was thinking only of my self and not seeing what my actions did even though they did not compare to the violence the staff members put you and others through. Someone in one thread made an analogy which really sunk in to me. While I thought I was extending a hand to help people, my other hand was being controlled by Straight. While my intentions were to help, I was actually continuing doing nothing more than carrying out what Straight wanted me to. All the "tools" I thought I had to help were not mine but Straights. In my heart I truly wanted to help people and still to this day, I just couldn't see I was not helping at the time. I do apologize for those actions and there is no excuse for them. However, the things and situations you accused me of in your post are simply not true as I explained in my previous response. While I am guilty of perpetuating the Straight philosophy while I was on staff, I was never physical with anyone and never could or would order someone to be beaten. I had seen enough after the open meeting scene I described and left to move on with my life. Should I have questioned things more? Absolutely, but I cannot change that now and feel terrible for the horrendous things you and others went through and still go through to this day. I understand you being angry at me for being on staff and being a part of this nightmare. I doubt I can change that but if I could I would.

Sorry to you and to all.



I never said that John K. wasn't in straight, and if you read what I wrote, I said that I knew him both during and after the program which I think makes it pretty clear that he was there. What I said was the situation that you blamed on him, which you previously in sworn testimony said happened with Chris C., could not have been him because he had already left and was AWAY AT COLLEGE.
I'm sorry, but it's wrong to post a persons name in a attempt to smear them when you are uncertain about who those encounters actually happened with. It seems that smearing is what you're after though, why else would you want people to posts their parents names and names of other parents so that they would be publicly embarrassed if someone was to search that name on the internet.
I'm not even going to try and address the many statements that you directed at me, which quite frankly didn't make any sense, because you went off on rants about other people and situations that we weren't even talking about, so there doesn't seem to be much point. The only thing I will say to you though is that I hope you can find some peace.
MD
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: St.Pete straight 1979
« Reply #318 on: December 19, 2008, 02:32:00 AM »
Hi John,

There are still a few of us around with accurate memories of  you and the kind of young man you were when we were in straight. :)

Do you remember a few years back where I told you I was going??
Still here and loving every day of it! It's never boring that's for sure!

If you still have my email, drop me a line and let me know how life is for you. I won't my email address here again...for obvious reasons ;)

Wishing  you and your family a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

Be well my friend,

Margaret D.
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: St.Pete straight 1979
« Reply #319 on: December 19, 2008, 04:55:41 PM »
Quote from: "Old Man From St Pete"
Link to the child abuser/molester Scott Patterson

http://www.dc.state.fl.us/ActiveInmates ... D=21072468

Let  him rot in hell!

Let's try this again...the links don't seem to last that long.  Either way, you can find him on the www.dc.state.fl.us   website...look for offender search.

http://www.dc.state.fl.us/ActiveInmates ... =449643400
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: St.Pete straight 1979
« Reply #320 on: December 20, 2008, 08:32:50 AM »
Quote from: "Old Man From St. Pete"
Quote from: "Old Man From St Pete"
Link to the child abuser/molester Scott Patterson

http://www.dc.state.fl.us/ActiveInmates ... D=21072468

Let  him rot in hell!

Let's try this again...the links don't seem to last that long.  Either way, you can find him on the http://www.dc.state.fl.us   website...look for offender search.

http://www.dc.state.fl.us/ActiveInmates ... =449643400



Find who?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: St.Pete straight 1979
« Reply #321 on: December 22, 2008, 02:59:00 PM »
Scott Patterson - child molester
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Sam Kinison

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Re: St.Pete straight 1979
« Reply #322 on: December 24, 2008, 12:40:25 PM »
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Antigen

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Re: St.Pete straight 1979
« Reply #323 on: December 24, 2008, 08:29:17 PM »
First, thanks, Marti, for all the high praise n awl, but you give me way too much credit. I have not been fighting this since day one. I split. When asked to give testimony I passed on the option. When invited to join in the lawsuit a couple years later, again I passed. It really didn't start to sink in how harmful the program was till many years later. At the time I split, I had one object in mind; to get the fuck out of that place and never look back and hope that I could regain my sanity. I didn't 'see' a lot of what went on there. I took in only enough to be able to say my lines if called on then immediately forgot it. The thing about what happened to Bobby R. is that, for some damned reason, the illusion fell away for a few minutes. That was the clarifying moment that led me to understand that I did NOT know what the fuck was going on around me and that I had to get out as a matter of self preservation. Then I got so busy just surviving that I never did get back to doing anything decent or human about the whole thing till almost 2 decades later.

And here's my point. My good friend Che didn't know he was a bad guy till a good long while off the planet (for all intents and purposes). My dad didn't know what he was doing to all his kids either, he thought he was a hero. Even after we talked and reached some understanding, it wasn't till a few more years later when he called me bitching about being questioned by police about a murder that he really understood a big part of it. Once he was done telling his story I said "Congratulations, Dad, you've had an intake interview and you passed the first time around."  That is the nature of Program. It warps perception. That's the point of it. No use arguing about it, is there?
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Offline Sam Kinison

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Re: St.Pete straight 1979
« Reply #324 on: December 26, 2008, 11:33:00 PM »
I stepped shortly before April 1,1979,just in time to catch spring training.I remember that month after finishing as one of the happiest of my life.The first thing I did after my last open meeting as a 5th phaser was stop at a 7-11 and buy a Coke,something I hadn't been able to do for the last 18 months.Having paid for my past sins,I could begin to enjoy a normal life,or so I thought.Unlike so many fakers before me,I never showed any desire to become one with staff office.Knowing so many current and former staffers,I may not  have been sure of what I wanted,but I was damn sure of what I didn't want.I lived long enough under a microscope and opted to sever any continued unnecessary scrutiny.I graduate high school and started  college in Gainesville.I come back for a visit four weeks later and instead of warm embraces,I got the 3rd degree.I guess everybody assumed that I was out partying or something.I thought to myself,"If I was out getting high,the LAST place that I would want to be is here".I severed all ties with Str8 after that.Something to the effect of don't call me and I won't call you.It was amazing how many people from there I stayed in touch with through other venues.I like to take the time to read all of the postings from this thread because it always makes me reflect and many times with positive effects.

Feliz Aņo Nuevo
Sam
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: St.Pete straight 1979
« Reply #325 on: December 31, 2008, 06:21:10 AM »
Ginger,

First I want to say someone orgianlly posted as me and as not to cause confusion i stuck with 1979 but my intake was April 23 1978, I left Oct 1982
Ginger, the point is NOT when you chose to get involved, the point is you DID. You have done an IMMENSE amount for all survivors and often without knowing it. When you did realize what was wrong you acted, all should be commended for that including you. You have continued the fight no  matter what, requardless of the threats to you, and I can not think of a time when I had a question that you werent there to answer it , if you could. Maybe you don't see your input into this effort as all that great or all that much but the truth is you are a HUGE part of the survivor effort to get justice. Maybe I am nuts but I look at all of us more as war vets who should stick together, pull each other up when we can rather than tear each other down and I like to think that for some of us there is a bond that not even time can break. I have alot of respect for your endurance, and tanacity. There are NO heros amoung survivors , we are all hero's because we survived. We each bring a different talent, ability to the table that has gone a long way to helping each other.
I gave you the credit because you deserve it, you have earned it and I wanted you know that I personally appreciate ALL you have done for all the survivors. To me, you are a fighter, to me the survivors should be appreciative of all you have done because the truth is you didnt have to do any of it but you did. I think we need to focus more on lifting each other up than tearing each other down. Like Sammy, Mike, Chris, Richard, and many others , many things would not have been possiable without you that is just the truth.
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: Scott Patterson
« Reply #326 on: December 31, 2008, 06:30:06 AM »
The link above to "Scott Patterson" doesnt look like Scott at all, is this Bretts brother? If so, how do we know,
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: St.Pete straight 1979
« Reply #327 on: December 31, 2008, 06:48:19 AM »
Margaret, I am simply going to say this,
Do you know the exact date of the incident with John that I am refering to? No, you don't , so, how could you know or not know that he was away at college?
Were you there? No you were not in that room. So, how could you know who was there and who wasn't?
Have you asked him about the knife incident? NO.
Margaret like it or not ALL of us did things in there we are not proud of either out of survival , sanity or other reasons this includes me, you, and yes John too.

I do have a final question , where were you when I closed the Sarasota program? Were you on staff? I am curious. You say you knew him after the program as well, that would explain your odd defense of him if your relationship was more than friends and I am not saying it was.

I can only reiterate that I find it bizare at best that you would come on the board and start calling peoples memories lies, you seem to want me to vindicate him for leading rap that day. Sorry, I can not do that. As for peace, I found that years ago, my true wish for you is for you to ask yourself why your mind insist that he could not have been there that day.  It is hardly smearing someone to say that they led a rap, when Letha Yost ordered a beating and followed Letha in the room to see why it wasnt done. It is not as if he was accused of rape.
Truly for me , this is not about John. I just find your response bizare as much as i have tried to understand it. All I can think is that either you wwere involved with him or you were on staff when I closed the program. What I do know is you were in the program at the time. I hope you and all of us take a path of helping each other and not this. I only replied this time because I wanted to understand how you could say what you did if you could not answer the questions at the begining of this post. I guess I am trying to understand something that is not understandable. When I say bizare I do not mean it in a cruel way , I mean strange, not able to understand.
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Offline Sam Kinison

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Re: St.Pete straight 1979
« Reply #328 on: January 01, 2009, 12:14:14 AM »
Scott Patterson is not Brett Patterson's brother.He's Mike Patterson's brother and Bob Patterson's stepbrother.So,now you see why you can't see any resemblance.
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