Author Topic: Who's still there from Andrews to 84?  (Read 1492 times)

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Offline DKM84

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Who's still there from Andrews to 84?
« on: August 16, 2002, 03:08:00 PM »
I was in from 71 til 75 / 76
anybody start in andrews or early on 84?
who do you remember
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline A friend in FL

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Who's still there from Andrews to 84?
« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2002, 12:26:00 AM »
Hi there, First I want to say that I am so sorry for the deep pain that so many of you have experienced, and are still feeling all these many years later. I am very grateful to have survived the 5+ months on 84 unscathed. I went into the program in the fall of '74. My sisters were the first in our family to go. The oldest was at the Tropical site and moved. I was 14 at the time when I entered the program. I was desperate for attention and to have a sense of belonging somewhere -anywhere. I may have smoked pot all of three times up to that point but made my parents beleive that my drug use was much worse. I went for an intake earlier in the summer and was turned away.  So, three months later I tried again. This time one of my sisters dressed me for the part. I went in "costume" with a trumped-up bad attitude and made the grade. (Do you remember the female character in the movie The Breakfast Club? The one who had nothing better to do than go to detention all day on a Saturday?)Pathetic huh?
However,when I graduated, I was left with the gift of several lifelong friends and a renewed relationship with God. I wish I could say that they too were not damaged by the experience. I cannot. My closest friend suffered tremendously for years. The others have suffered as well. What does give me comfort is that even a program like the Seed can be used by God to develop us (including all of you) into people of compassion, and love. Who knows better how to comfort, than those who have needed and received comfort?  Who knows better how to mend broken hearts than one who's heart has been mended. If yours has not, reflect on your experience and turn the hurt and pain over to the one who knows what it is like to be ridiculed publicly, to be beaten and abused and broken.  He loves you and is in the healing business.
A friend
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Who's still there from Andrews to 84?
« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2002, 12:31:00 AM »
you were pathetic then, and you're still pathetic...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline MommaDebi

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Who's still there from Andrews to 84?
« Reply #3 on: September 03, 2002, 10:00:00 AM »
I strongly feel that my life would have been much healthier if I had never experienced the "comfort" inherent in the "Seed".

I learned valuable lessons while there:
1) don't trust people that "love me"
2) keep feelings hidden as then they can not be used against me
3) be a "loner", i certainly did not graduate with a multitude of friends to support me and my choices in life. (yes I did graduate...if it means anything; to me it just means that i learned to play the game and survive it)
4) my God  did not want me to grow from these types of experiences...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
...every five years I look back on my life and have a good laugh...\" {Indigo Girls~~ \"The Watershed\"}

Offline GregFL

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Who's still there from Andrews to 84?
« Reply #4 on: September 03, 2002, 07:41:00 PM »
Welcome to the forum. You are not the first I have heard of that longed to be in the program. In fact, if you look at the lakewood thread with the school newspaper, one of the "druggies" interviewed said that he wouldn't mind going there. I remember kids coming in that volunteered and they seemed to get it pretty easy.

Cults the world over have no trouble finding volunteers. Sometimes people get in and out relatively unscathed. I hear what you are saying.

I also agree with your assessment that troubled lives can be used for good.

Thank you for your post. We look forward to your continued participation here. How about starting a thread and telling us about an event that happened to you while at the Seed, and get those friends to post!!!

GregFL



[ This Message was edited by: GregFL on 2002-09-03 16:42 ]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline A friend in FL

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Who's still there from Andrews to 84?
« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2002, 12:33:00 AM »
Hi there, I apologize for adding further to anyone's pain. It can sometimes be difficult to articulate clearly in this medium.
I never intended to suggest that I beleive that it is God's will for any of us to be subjected to humiliation or abuse, nor to experience the deep heartache that can linger,sometimes for years as a result;not for our growth or for any other reason. He wants us to be able to trust, to be able to feel, to be connected to others- safely. What I was trying to say is that I have seen broken people become dynamic in their ability to walk others through pain. To take those with similar backrounds to a place of healing and wholeness-to a place where we remember, but without anger and pain.
The "comfort" that I spoke of was not a comfort inherent of the Seed. The concept of comfort is the antithesis of most things having to do with the Seed. However one example of the comfort that I spoke of is what is demonstrated by most of you in this forum. You care for each other. You allow one another to vent. You confront. You encourage. You console. These are all ways that God's love is demonstrated. It is His ability and plan to bring beauty out of ashes.
On a personal note,just because I left the program unscathed does not mean I did not suffer its abuses. I too was victimized. I know what its like to be shredded apart during group. I have heard and seen the coached indifference on my mother's face when she "tough-loved" me after I escaped. I have tasted the shame of having been one of those people that verbally thrashed a person apart in front of 50 or so spectators. I also inherited a speech impedement. When I am under stress, I can't find my words and at times, sentences come out like "word-salad". This never happened before the Seed experience.
I was however,very fortunate to have a support system in place when I left,that continues to this day. It is my hope that now I will have two!
(For the record: I am not pathetic .)
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline GregFL

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Who's still there from Andrews to 84?
« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2002, 10:52:00 AM »
Good post. No apology necessary you did absolutely nothing wrong.Welcome to this forum, again!

We want people of all experiences and perceptions here. Otherwise it is not a forum it is a party where we all agree to agree. Not my vision of this forum.
Go ahead, choose a screen name and post one of your experiences. We encourage and solicit your participation. This forum belongs to us all, you included.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline MommaDebi

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Who's still there from Andrews to 84?
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2002, 05:18:00 PM »
I agree.
I thought this was a forum in which we could agree to disagree. Especially when to put another down for their personal thoughts and perceptions, is "staff/group" behavior. It sorta lets them win when we stoop back to that behavior.
Welcome to you "friend in Fl"...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
...every five years I look back on my life and have a good laugh...\" {Indigo Girls~~ \"The Watershed\"}