My advice? Don't do it. I am now 30 + years past my experience in The Seed in Ft.Lauderdale, FL. These programs are not what they appear to be.
If you want to break your child's spirit and psyche, a place like Growing Together is the surest way to do so. You may see a few glowing reports in the local newspaper about program "successes" but understand, there is more harm than help to be found there.
I spent my high school years essentially shut out from all normal activity and contact with other teens. They called me a zombie... I was afraid to talk to anyone for fear of being sent back and having to start the program over. It also made me psychologically vulnerable to successive abusive relationships. And, I have seen that very fact with three people sent to The Seed at the same time I was. All four of us have had some very difficult times as a result to the "programming" we were exposed to. We are still friends 30 years later - but man they have been some very tough years.
I don't see any difference in the methodolgy used by these programs even after thrity years. If the method is not different, the result can't really be different, either. What else could be expected when the primary methodology of the programming is to break down the child's will and "rebuild" using their "tools" which are really mind control techniques.
Once it is drummed into your head that you are a bad person (they used to tell us we were full of shit when our input to the group discussion waivered from the formulaed "rap") you figure out that the only way to get out,get back home or earn more privileges is to admit and proclaim the wretchedness of your being. That negative programming has a way of staying with you. Especially if you are a young teen.
I was 15 when my parents bought the "your child will end up dead, insane or in jail" line that was The Seed's mantra to parents looking for help.
This place is not the only resource out there.
Would you want to lose your ability to chose what you wanted in life? To have all of your decisions made for you and to always have a need to have the decision you do make confirmed or approved by others and still be riddled with self-doubt at the same time?
Parents usually want to raise independent, thinking children. These kind of programs take away your ability (as a parent) to impress your life values, morals and lessons upon your own child. Why give up that responsibity to a program of people who cannot function outside of the strict confines of their own program world?
If you do go speak to them, remember this: Their selling techniques will cause you to doubt your ability to handle this problem and to create fear in your heart about the fate of your child. If you do go talk tothem, resolve before you go, not to make any placement decision. They will try to get you to commit the chid right then - but don't do that. Take time to reflect on your decision, as your decision will have life long effects on your child.
If my child had legal problems - arrests for drugs, juvenile problems, mental health etc., despite the hardship that would present, this is not the alternative I would choose.
It is expensive. You will undoubtedly lose control of the direction, depth, and trust your child has in his or her relationship with you.
Sometimes kids behave like asses, but they do grow out of it. Some take longer than others. In my opinion, your money might be better spent on a private family therapist. If you have limited resources, check the local United Way for a sliding fee scale family therapist.
If your child is actually addicted to some kind of drug, and you can get a trusted physician to give you an unbiased, medically-based opinion of that fact - I'd seek medical help first. stay away from the "cure all" approach they will offer - Test them Ask exactly what kind of problems they are medically qualified to deal with. Ask to see their credentials. And if the child is addicted, then he or she needs to be in a real hospital medical setting. Not in a punishment-base program.
You can send me a personal message if you want to exchange more information privately.
