Author Topic: The Seed's Influence today  (Read 847 times)

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Offline cleveland

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The Seed's Influence today
« on: September 08, 2004, 11:06:00 AM »
Reading these posts is a powerful link to the past. I am enjoying reading the Moral Inventory posts, they pop me right back into that time and place. I can still feel the hard chairs, smell the hotdogs and PBJs we had for lunch, remember the sound and smell of 'lighting up' on the hour or when the rap leader did (of course we all smoked because Art did).

Some of the comments on this site make it clear that people are still struggling with issues that the Seed triggered. Some people had a positive experience and claimed the Seed saved their lives. Others are still angry at the time they spent there and the months and years lost. Others are interested because while there were both positive and negative experiences, it was a time that was unique, powerful and occured 'outside' of our normal day to day life. It's really hard to explain to people - was I in a cult? Was it a drug rehab? Was I at fault for 'joining?'

The problem is that it was a cult, although it carefully managed a non=cult image. We were told that, as oldcomers, we were free to go. I guess we were free in the same way I'm free to jump in front of a moving bus - because we were told that outside of the protection of the Seed 'madness, death or prison' were our only alternatives. When I was at the Seed there was a lawsuit brought by members of Cookie C's family, heirs to the Beneficial financial corp. fortune. Some judge determined that the Seed was not a cult - at least that's what Art told us.

In my case, I had been recommended to the Seed by a psych. professor from Case Western Reserve University, and Dr. Finkelstein was a big supporter in Cleveland - how more mainstream can you get? Many efforts were made to negate the cult aspects of the Seed. But they were there!

Even now, it's hypnotic to read about the experiences and the Moral Inventories posted. If Synanon was the source for much of the technique, I know that this emphasis on 'complete honesty' required people to alter their reality to conform with the group.

At the same time, the experience of sitting in a rap session for hours and hours induced a kind of hypnotic trance. I remember seeing auras around the group and feeling like I was falling, or just getting warm all over - getting into this kind of meditative zone where I just felt like I was sort of dreaming. It was kind of addictive and there were certain raps that did this for me.

I also enjoyed the humor raps where we talked about what losers we used to be. I felt a lot more authentic when I was relating this than talking about how 'great' I was now because truly I didn't feel great at all. I felt so below everyone else that hearing other people talk about insecurities made me feel less isolated, and the same for having people laugh at mine.

However, when I left the Seed I had a lot of work to do, because I had never been authentic with myself. I went from being a child and under the sway of my family's dynamic to being a part of the Seed, which dictated my every move. I had to work hard to understand what it was that I took from my family and from the Seed experiences, and grow up.

I think because I had given up my freedom at the Seed I felt so good in reclaiming it. The years since have been full of growth for me.

But thinking back on the Seed is still a huge part of my world, even though I have left it far behind. I so badly wanted to be a part of it. I loved my oldcomers and the staff - really - maybe partly in the way a prisoner 'loves' his keepers or a woman in an abusive relationship 'loves' her abuser. But mixed in with that was my own human feeling for other people that were genuine, and I am sorry that the Seed used that to keep me hooked in without honoring it authentically.

It was very hard to walk away from that world after 7 years. I literally woke up one night and thought, if I don't leave now I never will. I'll never have freedom, I'll never make my own destiny. Thank god I left.

The honesty I have with myself now is the gift I have given myself. I don't want to be a part of any cult, although I choose to engage in social, work and religious activiites - all of which have cult-like potential - I try to avoid 'group think' whenever and wherever I can, be true to myself, family and friends, and avoid demonizing people I don't agree with (this one is hard!)

I am so grateful to the posts on this site - I have gained a lot of insight.

Wally Gator [ This Message was edited by: cleveland on 2004-09-08 08:27 ]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
ally Gator

Offline Antigen

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The Seed's Influence today
« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2004, 04:47:00 PM »
Quote
On 2004-09-08 08:06:00, cleveland wrote:

Cookie C's family, heirs to the Beneficial financial corp. fortune


Wow, I didn't know that. And Libby was heir to some other big fortune. Rumor had it that it was the Crock family (as in the golden arches McDonalds) But my brother told me that it wasn't that family at all. It was a McDonald who held a patent on some kind of food service device. Wealthy, but not stinking, obscenely so.

So how did that happen? By chance or was Art intentionally recruiting wealthy heirs? And what was the point if he was going to pressure them into disowning their families anyway? Or is that just something that got out of control? Like maybe he expected the families to come along and kick down great sacks of loot? I know some did. I sort of remember a wealthy doctor giving him that mansion in Venician Isles. And it seems like there was another one, too, on the New River right where I-95 crosses over it.

Bigot: One fanatically devoted to one's own group, religion, race, or politics and intolerant of those who differ.
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary' target='_new'>Webster's

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Tony Stark

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The Seed's Influence today
« Reply #2 on: September 09, 2004, 01:51:00 AM »
I graduated the program but ever came back. I called on the phone several times thinking they would rescue me from the government, but they were a cult. I believed in those peer group for time enough to get the hell away from there. Why I escaped Straight Inc. was because I knew this was even more sinister. The Life program?.........Ah, well, Let's just say I wanted doormat friends. Somebody I could go to to just be accepted. But that didn't workover too well when the camera's rolled in, I rolled out. Art Barker? Shit my parents are full of crap but He's not my Holy Father.Not Art Barker.....He's a crackpot.  :smokin:

To err is human; to forgive is simply not our policy.

 

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Offline Tony Stark

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The Seed's Influence today
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2004, 03:39:00 AM »
I think back on all those thugs that helped make me what I am today and I don't really eel bad about 'em, it wasn't just them. I've infiltrated covens of real witches and real Communists and to be honest with you........."Kitten" I didn't have a blemish on me at all until the Seed. The "chicks there humiliated me into some kind of fear of nobody wanting me from my past of ozens of grlfriends and then this fucking arm of a "guy" around my neck sayin he loves me and wants to get close to me.....yuck..........Then I did have one true love in the seed and burned a torcvh fr her all through my imrisonment until finally she entered. I thought we were in real love.We were....and we both hated the Seed after it left. It was all the other assholes that still remaimed faithful to the cult that fucked me over. The "Dunedin click". Then I got my asshoe brother giving my Dad all my condoms when she was barren anyway and he told me to forsake her and go out on the street corner instead. That really fucked me up. We still dated but I had this music dream and she was possesssive. So.....I lost the best friend I ever had. Got my music gig going at 16 in lounges and bnars and TV and all this attention. Shit. Then enters the Dunedin click again and they put me in Straight Inc. at Alfred's house. With three others there. Shit I didn't even lie to them . I said "I don't want to be here!" The next day I had winged feet and busted out the door and ran in the woods and never turned back to look. Came t of the woods at the skyway and hitched a ride with a Christian who took me back on my turf and I stayed in hiding for two weeks. My mom left my Dad My Grandpa died , My brother got put in Straight Inc. for two years. I went home and started talking about Jesus Christ with my band mates. OH boy what a frealiking laughing stock to talk about Christ with a bunch a jazz musicians. I saw right through the scene and left. Now the Rienhardt gang still lingers at my past with voodoo curses and all kinds of sorcery. Ya can't kill"em.??????? I tried for over the next past years to not make them sell out but the blessings just got taken as some kind of idiotcy so I left them finally for good. They can keep the Richard Elliot band. "Sound Barrier" was stolen from some Emglish people and we never even Had a chance to legalize our old brotherhood which of course was an illusion. Helen Petermann? I feel really sorry for her ass. Now I have to answr to all these people and I don't like any of them. It's a long lonely road without Christ. You sit in this corperate spewing instistution where you have to be a crusader. And you're not even allowed to forget.What the Hell I got bigger people to bring the law on than some puny cult. How about all tose caretakers and people pedlers in ACLF's? How about the guy next door that want's to shoot me cause I don't like him selling dope in my village!!!!!!! They all think life is a big joke. Threaten to kill me too. Just cause they rule the neighborhood. I can't even sit outside without some fucking asshole pusher threatening a gun on me because he ain't cool about his dope deals. Real indiscreet. Fuck him!!!!! That's all he wants anyway. I don't give a shit. Let him find his fate on his own, and all the rest of these assholes. I'm not afraid of them. And because of the freaking stupid church of England I'm screwed overe by rekligion in my family when I'm just a gentile and don't have to follow the law of Moses. Shit. I never get a fucking day off. I sy for jme to be a gentile I got just a few things to follow ain't they aint the ten commandments. It's establish courts of law.No adultry,no stealing,no idolatry, do not kill,Don't eat the limbs off of live animals, and for God's sake I can't remember the other one. Maybe I should just say screw it all I've sinned and I need a saviour to guide me. I've tried to commit suicide several times, and the government put me right back where I hate, with my family so he can torment me some more. Adjudication of incapacitation means I don't have rights of person.I don't even want them. Let them keep me in their hospitals and shit I'll never get away from that. I never even struck another person in my life. If it's not the freemasons trying to fuck me over I got to put up with people in prisons. HA! You know In the Harbors in Port Richey they put me in seclution handed me a knife annd locked he door. You know why? I set all the oher guys free from their cellos cause I saw tings that I didn't like. People flying in my fucking vent like a bunch of vampires coming for me. I never sleep in those places. Then all the God-damned aliens actualy thought I'd take their Egyptian gold.....the bitch doesn't even want to fuck with me anymore. I'm just not empted. The other night a she-wolf looked me in the eye and I fucking say this her eyes faded to small.........real small. I'm not even seducced or killed by a fucking Deer woman. Then there's the marketplace where they all fucking don't know how to shop. All they do is sit around and gossip and ya know it makes me feel reall special. Super-being from the Seed I'm not and never was. I'm strong when I'm weak. Now I got a fucking hernia because I couldn't repair my fucking self quick enough from having my colon burst onme in some hotel rioom with a bitch and a son of a bitch with chalices withh pentagrams on tem drinking fromma bottle of only God knows what. Then to even ge a smoke I go to thjis fucking ally at MPH which is a place I had t steal away to smoke a cigarette. Their all fucking mad. MPH is the house of the Rising Sun in Clearwter. At least I had good surgeuns and nurses and aides. sitters and shit. Now I need fucking sedation dentistry too. I can't find any acne though.

It takes a village idiot to believe that a family needs instruction from the government to raise a child.
-- Anonymous homeschooler

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Anonymous

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The Seed's Influence today
« Reply #4 on: September 09, 2004, 10:35:00 AM »
tip toeing out of the room when no one is looking......
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Offline FueLaw

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The Seed's Influence today
« Reply #5 on: September 12, 2004, 06:43:00 PM »
Although the Seeds doors are now closed they will be remembered for years to come by those in the rehab business.

Recently I had occassion to visit a place called DAF in Delray Beach. I was up there visiting a client who was in the program. Most of the people in there were sent by the courts or their parents had plenty of $$$ or insurance. Looked like there were at least 150 people in the program.

I spoke to the director for about 1/2 hour and told him of my experiences with the Seed. The name Art Barker came out of his mouth immediately. This guy spoke about the piece shit (Barker) almost with reverence. I explained to the guy why Barker was gutless bastard who was nothing but a phony and a fraud. The director didn't offer a response or rebutal.
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