Hello back at you Pheonix-
First, I would like to thank you for your interest in knowing more about your friend. Straightling folks are definately a unique breed. Second, I can not tell you exactly what your went thru individually, but I do know what your friend experienced collectively by just being incarcerated on a daily basis as a child.
Your friend was torn up emotionally. She was told that she was worthless and a slut, that unless she finished the program, her family and straightling friends would have nothing to do with her. She was told she was worthless, untrustworthy, that she was a piece of shit as a person and was fundementally flawed.
She was told that she had a "disease" called being an addict. She was told that she would be either dead, insane or in jail if she did not comply and finish the program. They took away her individuality and made her part of the "group".
I'm not sure when she was in, but at various times and places she may have had a restricted diet. These diets consisted of most likely peanut butter and bread. When I was in straight St. Pete, we were served food that was gleaned from dumpsters, ie t hrow away bread and doughnuts. Her liquid intake was regularly restricted. We were allowed 2 dixie riddle cups a day of unsweetened koolaid, w/no sweetner (maybe 8 ounces of liquid). The only time I could really hydrate myself was in the shower. She kept long hours. Our day lasted anywhere from 15 to 20+ hours a day. She heard repition and mantra. She may have been beaten for non-compliance. Crapping and peeing were regulated. She was made to sit in uncomfortable positions for long periods of time.
She was probably scared her entire time there. To move ahead, one must make others look bad.
Think abu grey (sp)prison. Think of massive child abuse on a scale that rivals anything seen in the western world.
She probably dreams about straight and has pstd. I dreamt about straight and still do for almost 25 years now.
My wife (bless her heart) married me, a straight survivor. She is the one that saved my life. I am ok now (more or less). Thanks to my family, esp my wife, friends and lots of hard work and prayer on my part. Straight will probably have long-lasting, maybe lifetime impact. But she can become a survivor. Be her friend; she most likely harbors lots of anger. If it comes out, don't run away. We have been rejected enough in our life. I do not have a therapist. I do not trust them. I split the word up into two words... THE RAPIST. We all have had about all the thereapy we can handle. Encourage her. Show her unconditional friendship and love. She will be ok; be her friend.
Glad you found fornits. It has helped me lots.
Sincerely,
Mike Sherman, Straight Survivor 1978 - 1980
http://www.safetyintl.org[ This Message was edited by: kpickle39 on 2004-08-11 12:25 ]