Author Topic: Shout out! Anyone have anger issues??  (Read 256 times)

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Offline damanamanit

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Shout out! Anyone have anger issues??
« on: February 09, 2018, 08:23:57 PM »
I am just curious if anyone else struggles with anger issues. Being triggered to the point you lose your shit.

Offline Matt C. Hoffman

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Re: what's you talking about - anger issues -
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2018, 08:21:22 AM »
lol - sorry your comment made me laugh. I was in Elan - anger issues - lol - triggering knee jerk reactions - quitting jobs - yeah when I was younger -Then again having a partner  for 25 years and children has helped - focusing  on learning an instrument for the past 34 years certainly helped me cope with it- especially  in the early years after exposure to Elan's sadistic , brutal ,violent indoctrination and the insane tools used to make the Elan resident  individual fit the "program's" one size fits all model. 

I think part is that the "program" especially ours - just so darn violent- taught or ingrained us to being  angry...... thinking albeit incorrectly -that an outwardly angry person wasn't  a suicidal person. The adult untrained  Elan employees  didn't understand that there were reasons why children had rage and not anger issues - as they soon discovered as they pushed abused children to be angry.

 -  So coupled with the "program " and in our cases  the insane mentality  of the misguided staff - they didn't teach us constructive ways to deal with our anger - as for the rage that they encountered - they just beat us down until they felt we could control it  -  and  I am sure many have  used those skillz   from the "program" itself, that were   learned/taught or beaten into our sub consciousness's , seriously faulty anger   coping skills every time since - and for some of  us there is a triggering element or component .

 - and then whoa

- yeah it is hard or it can be sometimes - maybe age has something to do with it  - or simply having had to deal with issues like this (since friends told me in my early 20's that if I didn't chill I would be dead from a  heart attack before I was 40 - that milestone passed almost 20 years ago -  being aware something wasn't righ tand trying to self fix it  with what ever tools one had  )

It has not been easy though hindsight is truly 20 -20 and time helps us mellow a bit I believe   - plus therapy- good competent therapy because most if not all have PTSD for just having been in one of these violent " program " rtc. Sadly I ran in to that rather late in life also curtsey of Elan -they also convinced us that Elan was it.There was no other form of therapy for us - no pills- no nothing - they were in fact "  the last stop."

And that wasn't true at all about Elan- it certainly wasn't the last stop though it was very capable in it's ability in  brainwashing us into believing that it fraudulently was  -     

And if we didn't make it after Elan -  Elan had a really sick off hand way  of promoting that there was always the option of suicide - . Anger issues - yeah sorry it kinda made me laugh .

Honestly I wish I hadn't believed Elan was the most fucked up- last stop on the planet- and had found competent mental assistance when I was much younger - maybe the guitar  was my therapy - at least it helped with the depression -the acute post Elan depression - who knows.   


« Last Edit: February 12, 2018, 08:28:36 AM by Matt C. Hoffman »