General Interest > Open Free for All

Vision of myself about to be eaten

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Antigen:
Ok, I'm skipping some so as to not lose my thought.

Pirate, you will never be alone nor unloved! I love you. Frod loves you. I don't know who all else, but I'd bet dollars to rolling doughnuts it's a long list! You may not get that magical romantic love that we all hope fore & crave so much. Me neither. That's rare. I envy the old couple  I take care of and often remind them both (when they're not in the same room, of course) how damned lucky they are; how rare a thing they have.

It's an ocean, alright. And we're all a part of the food chain. Enjoy what time we have and look forward to whatever the fuck is next.

BTW, my coworker has some vinyl. Itd?

Antigen:

--- Quote from: starry-eyed pirate on October 24, 2014, 05:09:12 AM ---Thankyou Froderik, the wisdom I'd like to impart to her is not the kind that can be carried in mere words.  It requires time to be spent together and we just never had much.  Now she is 19 and far from home, caught up in the world and the usual goings on.  Working and trying to make money to pay bills and what-not.  She's my only child.

--- End quote ---

Ok, here's a little exercise I've come up with all on my own. Close your eyes, breath easy and try and remember 5 important things your family tried to teach you. ..............

Ok, now keep your eyes closed (but keep reading... you figure it out LOL) now try and not think about 10 important things your family taught you without knowing it.

You're cool as shit and she'll be fine. Just don't burn that bridge! That's all you have to deal with right now. Just don't allow yourself or your daughter to sever ties.

Antigen:
Shit, I feel alone like that usually several times a day. The most palpable experience happened when I was pretty freshly out of the program. I had two jobs, just paid my share of the rent with a couple of older male roomies, both of whom I'd slept with, neither one seriously (on my end, anyway. I was so damned nieve!)

I had time off, for the first time in YEARS! No pressing business! No one watching! Damn! What will I do with myself? I decided to go out and catch a sunset on the jetties on Sarasota Beach. Walked/climbed all the way out to the end. Sat myself down and started .... breating .... meditating ... observing ... breath .... and then I was completely untethered! It was fucking terrifying! It occurred to me to wonder what, exactly, was the nature of the force that was holding me down to the rock I was sitting on and not letting me spin out into airless space. I felt so damned small in the world. I wondered, really entertained the notion, that I didn't exist at all. It's not the sharks I fear. They need to eat too, can't blame them. It's non-existence that haunts my worst nightmares.

starry-eyed pirate:
Yeah.  Thanks Ginger !  LOL...Oh-hh... I'm still alive !

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