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Salem for youth ranch

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Antigen:
There has been a suicide @ this place. Please try & find anyone who has been there or who knows any of the staff. Here's all I could find right off (thanks Angela)

Http://www.heal-online.org/salem.htm

Please be gentle & level headed in your statements. These people are grieving & probably sincerey believe that this place tried & failed to help their boy. If we can reach them we may be able to save their two surviving kids from being helped.

Oscar:
Obituary: Benjamin James Lolley, 16, of Eureka

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Eureka - Benjamin James Lolley, 16, of Eureka, died at 5:23 p.m. Friday, Aug. 26, 2011, in Eureka.

He was born Dec. 9, 1994, in Stillwater, Okla., to Jim and Dianne Michelle Bates Lolley.

Surviving is his mother, Michelle Lolley of Eureka; two sisters, Nikki (Ben) Chew and Chelsea Lolley, both of Eureka; paternal grandparents, Bob and Leonia Lolley of Valdosta, Ga.; and maternal grandmother, Virginia Lowry of Perkins, Okla.

He was preceded in death by his father.

Ben was a student at Salem Ranch in Flanagan, where he was just a few weeks short of graduating from high school.

He enjoyed horseback riding, training horses, fishing, weightlifting, and various sports.

A Celebration of Life service will be held at 6 p.m. Thursday, Sept. 1, at the Eureka Nazarene Church. The Rev. Nathan Thomas will officiate. There will be no visitation. Cremation rites will be accorded and burial of ashes will be with his father in Perkins Cemetery in Perkins, Okla., at a later date.

In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Salem 4 Youth Ranch in Flanagan. Online condolences may be sent to the family at http: // www. ruestmanharrisfuneralhome. com.

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It seems that it happened during a home visit. It is very sad. I feel sorry for the one who is left behind.

Ursus:
WoodfordTimes.com Serving Woodford County, Ill.
Ben Lolley, former EHS student, dies

By DeWayne Bartels Woodford Times
Posted Aug 29, 2011 @ 10:53 AM

Eureka, Ill. Ben Lolley, a former Eureka High School student died over the weekend.

Lolley is the apparent victim of a suicide, according to Woodford County Coroner Tim Ruestman. The coroner, Monday morning, said the case was still under investigation.

EHS Principal Richard Wherley said school counselors and a social worker were on hand at the high school on Monday to talk to students.

"We are handling it in-house," Wherely said.  

Plans were underway for a memorial at the high school, but had not been finalized by presstime. Check http://www.woodfordtimes.com for information about the memorial.

When asked when Lolley had been a student, Wherley said, simply, "He hasn't been here for a year."

Lolley is a former football player and wrestler.

Ruestman said the family had not made funeral arrangements yet.


Copyright 2011 Woodford Times.

Ursus:
Publisher/reporter DeWayne Bartels explains why he used the word "suicide" in the just above article on Ben Lolley...

Fwiw, here's Bartels' pic:


DeWayne Bartels

-------------- -------------- --------------

WoodfordTimes.com Serving Woodford County, Ill.
"Suicide is Painless" to no one anytime, anywhere

By DeWayne Bartels Woodford Times
Posted Sep 14, 2011 @ 11:13 AM

Eureka, Ill. When I spoke to Woodford County Coroner Tim Ruestman recently about the death of Ben Lolley he offered some sage advice.

I had brought up a word suicide.  

When I asked if he could confirm that Lolley's death was a suicide, Ruestman said, "You can call it a suicide if you wish, but some papers don't list it as the cause of death," he said.

I knew what he was telling me. He was saying I could write the story and not use the word. He was being thoughtful to the family, and trying to help me avoid potential backlash from the community. I appreciated his words.  

Suicide is a word with the incredible power to wound, embarrass, shame or anger people.

I used the word anyway.

Let me explain why.

I didn't use the word to shock.

I didn't use it to draw attention to the story.

If either of those reasons had been my purpose the word would have been in the headline.

I used it simply because it was the truth, as I knew it.

On Aug. 31, the day the story appeared, I got a call from an incredibly courteous female reader in Eureka. She did not appreciate me including the information that it was a suicide.

The caller told me she knew Lolley. She knows the family.

She thought it hurtful that I included that bit of information.

We had a nice conversation on the topic. We agreed to disagree.

I, however, understand exactly where she was coming from. Though I am a newspaperman, I am a human being first.

I knew using the word could be hurtful. I've experienced suicide among  friends in my life. A close member of my family has twice attempted suicide.

It was hurtful to me.  

I say again I used the word because it was the truth.

I've been in this business covering towns big and small for more than 20 years. If there is one topic in this profession that can tie an editor's stomach and brain in knots it is death in general, suicide in particular.

I've dealt with death in almost every form imaginable since almost my first day on the job.

I've hurt people with the words I've written. I've been hurt by words written about me.

I had a man in Morton threaten to commit suicide if I published his arrest. I published it.

Why? It was the truth. He did not take his life.

I've been threatened with arrest multiple times in advance of a story being published. I published.

A white supremacy group issued multiple death threats against me and my family if I published a story about a local Neo-Nazi leader. I published.

I comprehend words have power and that with power comes responsibility. I used the word responsibly. It was used only after confirming it with officials.

Last week I ran another story in which suicide played a huge role. That story was one of hope, of justice and a second lease on life for a teenaged girl. It's interesting to note the story originated from the family of the girl who committed suicide.    

I am reminded of a quote from the movie, "Absence of Malice."

In the movie a reporter writes a story that results in a woman committing suicide. The reporter is devastated.

Her editor tells her, "I know how to tell the truth. I also know how not to hurt people. I don't know how to do both at the same time."

That is very true. Very simply put, my responsibility is not to shade the truth.  

I've always been struck by the fact the theme song to the TV series "M*A*S*H" was "Suicide is Painless."

In my experience that has never been true for anyone, including the writer who points it out in a newspaper story.


Copyright 2011 Woodford Times.

Ursus:
Facebook page: In memory of Ben Lolley

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