I was adopted at an early age. I was in KBC during 85-87. After I coped out I found my relationship with my parents at it's worse. Fighting about why I was in that dump in the 1st place. It got to the point it was taboo to even talk about with them or my sibs (you know what, it still is). I moved out and so on.... So we stopped and basically had no relationship for awile. I always wondered if it would have been different if I was never adopted blah blah blah... Very normal thought for an adopted kid. Well I think I had the chance to find out. About 7 years after that shithole, my biological mother found me. I decided to meet her. VERY WEIRD! I look like her, have the same medical crap as her, have some half brothers, one who looks very much like me.... They lived in a great big house. Well off. All was good for about 6 months. I told her about KBC and she got very upset. She actually attended an open meeting in Secaucus (without telling me). From there she had a real problem it seemed with the way I was raised and my parents. It got to the point where my birth mom was very clingy and emotional. She really beat herself up about actually giving me up in the 1st place. She was pregnant at an early age and placed in a nunery (moms home) until she had me. These places were Catholic nun homes where pregnant teens would go until they had their child. In that place, the nuns would belittle her and make her feel like a piece of garbage for being preganant, not married etc... Sound familiar?? After all that, she had 1 day with me after I was born. She was very defiant and did not want to give me up but was finally convinced to do it (couldn't imagine that). I eventually called it off because it was very hard to incorporate her into my life at the time. I just didn't want to go through BS again after feeling I got over the KBC BS. With the way she was feeling and acting it got hostile a few times. It was a very messy break. I have not seen her for 7 years. She still finds me (by address) when I move, she still sends me b-day cards and still would love to have contact. I think about her a lot. I have heard bad things about how she has handled her life since we split. Her life has been affected by me... again. Not sure how I feel about that... One day I actually might try to rekindle something but not right now. I guess my point is that adoption when it's really broken down, can be a real issue not only in the adoptee's life but the birth parent as well. The acceptance comes when you realize that these were the cards you were dealt... What you do with them is your choice. Of course your choices have consequences. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.... I have not folded on this one yet.....
