How to help a troubled teen

[Maximilian]

I am curious what people here suggest to parents of troubled teens do with their children, instead of sending them to a private program.

Lets say a sibling of yours, a single parent who works during the day, came to you for advice about their troubled teen, what would you suggest they do?

Scenario 1: The teen is ditching school, coming home drunk on weekends and disrespectful, grades are dropping and they seem headed down the wrong path

Scenario 2: The teen is using hard drugs like heroin  and cocaine sometimes, failing school, hanging out with the burnouts, depressed and already on medication and seeing a therapist

Scenario 3: The teen is addicted to drugs and alcohol and uses everyday, commits serious crimes to pay for drugs, has a history of threatening suicide and self harm, has been hospitalized and sent to a local treatment center already and got expelled, and also has long been expelled from school and is supposed to be home schooled now

What would you advise this parent do in each of these various scenarios?

[Whooter]

These are not very well thought through but here are my initial responses:

Scenario 1: The teen is ditching school, coming home drunk on weekends and disrespectful, grades are dropping and they seem headed down the wrong path

Start spending more time with your child and become more engaged in his/her every day life.  Try to get them involved in something new, volunteer work after school, job etc.

Scenario 2: The teen is using hard drugs like heroin and cocaine sometimes, failing school, hanging out with the burnouts, depressed and already on medication and seeing a therapist

Talk to his therapist, get involved in family therapy so the two therapist can talk and help with the direction of the family.  If one parent can drop out of work then this would help keeping the child engaged 24/7 in activities other than hanging out with his group of friends and get him back on course.

Scenario 3: The teen is addicted to drugs and alcohol and uses everyday, commits serious crimes to pay for drugs, has a history of threatening suicide and self harm, has been hospitalized and sent to a local treatment center already and got expelled, and also has long been expelled from school and is supposed to be home schooled now

If homeschooling is not working (which I doubt at this point) then a new therapist needs to be consulted with the idea of taking a new direction.  The child needs to be removed from his/her present environment.  The child should be evaluated to see if long term treatment would be beneficial/effective like a Therapeutic Boarding School or 30 day residential if this has not already been tried.



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[Shadyacres]

In all three cases; Talk to your kid as if he is a human being with thoughts and feelings.  Listen to him!  Even if you think his reasoning sounds ridiculous, it makes sense to him.  Just because it is a child who is having problems doesn't mean they are childish problems.  Whatever his problems are, weeks or months of emotional abuse isn't going to improve things.

[RobertBruce]

Try being a parent and not dumping your kid off on with some abusive hack.