Author Topic: MY TIME  (Read 7956 times)

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Offline Cayo Hueso

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MY TIME
« Reply #15 on: September 24, 2003, 08:34:00 AM »
My friends made normal lives for themselves through the natural, normal process of growing up that they were allowed to do but which we were not.  I fully believe that if I had NOT been put in there that I would have done the same thing.  Go through a period of breaking away from parents, rebelling against authority etc. and then grow up, just like my friends did.  That also happens to be the way my daughter did it.  Help is one thing, forced adolescent treatment and imprisonment is quite another.  As I said before, great if you got something out of it, but don't tell the rest of us to face reality......we've been through enough without some self-righteous jerk comparing the military, which is VOLUNTARY, to the Seed or Straight.  VERY different animals.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
t. Pete Straight
early 80s

Offline GregFL

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« Reply #16 on: September 24, 2003, 10:01:00 AM »
Me too Marla. That is, afterall, what this site is all about.

Never let your sense of
    morals get in the way of
    doing what's right
--Isaac Asimov

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Offline GregFL

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« Reply #17 on: September 24, 2003, 10:08:00 AM »
Cayohesto, trucker is entitled to his opinion. He may have spent the past 30 years believing that he faced certain death without the Seed. Loggging on this website and realizing that many people who shared his experience have thought it thru very differently may be hard for him to swallow.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and to share their experience here.

Trucker, Once again, thank you for logging on and sharing your experience. Got any stories from SR84 or the hanger to share?

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
--Albert Einstein

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Offline Cayo Hueso

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« Reply #18 on: September 24, 2003, 11:35:00 AM »
Hey Greg,

You're right.  I completely agree that he is entitled to his opinion...so am I.  That's all I was doing.  I don't think I was (I hope I wasn't) overly harsh.  I just took issue with being told that I needed to face reality.  I've been facing reality for over 20 years now.  I'm NOT trying to pick a fight.  I respect his right to his opinion, don't agree with it, but respect his right to express it and I"m just asking for the same.  I"ve tried very hard since I've been back on these boards to choose my postings carefully.  I backed away for over a year because of all the anger that seemed to flow and I don't want to be a part of perpetuating that anger.  If I truly offended "Anon" (and it does strike me as odd that these people who are so pro-program seem to always post anonymously) then I apologize...that was not my intent.  As I stated before, it was the "facing reality" comment that got to me.  I was just speaking with another survivor and she had a great point to make.  There are, what, a couple of hundred people that look at these boards, a lot of whom post, but some who don't, and we're not going to agree on everything.  I have no interst in getting into arguments with people over any of that.  I have only posted a very few times since I've been back because of this.  But....when I see someone that is, in MY opinion, telling us that what happened to us was brought on by ourselves or that we really needed it or whatever reason he comes up with as to why we needed to be there and is DEFENDING the abuse that happened, I take issue.  

ANON - Once again, if you truly feel that your life was saved by the Seed, great for you......but PLEASE, don't belittle MY experience by telling me to face reality.  I truly do wish you well in your life....I wish that for ALL survivors.  I was telling this person that I was speaking with that all of this is kind of like "emotional vomiting" .  It happened to me when I first found these sites a year and a half ago.  All this anger, frustration, confusion has been pent up all these years and when I finally found someone or someplace that seemed to understand, everything came out at once.  The rage, fear...all of it, sometimes in a constructive way, other times not so constructive.

Enough rambling...I hope ALL of us can find some peace finally.  I think we've ALL earned it. :grin:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
t. Pete Straight
early 80s

Offline GregFL

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« Reply #19 on: September 24, 2003, 11:58:00 AM »
Thanks, great post. On the SDF, I have tried with some degree of success to avoid the harsh words that seem to come on some of the other forums and to invite any and all into the arena.

We ex "seedlings" are typically a little older and less emotional about our experience than the straight survivors (and certainly the Elan group!).

I want to foster an environment where people on all sides of the issue feel comfortable in posting their experiences. In order to do so, I respectfully request that people avoid name calling and instead stick to addressing the issue,as hard as that can be some times.

Cayohuesto, welcome to our forum and please contribute here often. I assume you were in Straight.  Ever know any seedlings? If so, What was your opinion of them and of the Seed prior to your going to the straight? Did they seem a bit weird, cultish? what about the hair, the dress, the lingo?

The seed was really a big cult for a short while in St Petersburg...it came with a bang and left with a whimper, unfortunately leaving the straight as its legacy.




Janis, Jimi, Jerry, Timothy... Do you HAVE to get this close to the edge to get a really good view?
-- Anonymous

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Cayo Hueso

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« Reply #20 on: September 24, 2003, 12:46:00 PM »
I was in Straight from 82 - 84.  I knew of the Seed and a guy on my street went in....Joe or Jeff Portwood, I think that was his name.  When my dad heard that he went in the Seed I wasn't allowed to spend the night with his sister anymore.  I remember the cultish The Seed Loves You crap... bumper stickers, shirts etc.  I knew of Straight very well before I went in...had a bunch of friends who broke a good friend out.  She got lucky, parents never sent her back after she told them what really went on in there.  I went to Northeast... I know the Seed was a HUGE deal at Lakewood.  At NEHI we had all heard of it and knew what it was about but there wasn't the same presence that there was at LHS and it had changed into Straight by then.   The main thing I remember about both programs before I had gone in was how everyone was robot-like and you could really feel that they were freaked out.  If you tried to speak to any of them, they wigged out and got either scared or pissed...mostly scared.  I now know that they were afraid of being reported for talking to "druggies".

I have found a really good way to kind of clear all the cobwebs after getting overwhelmed by all this stuff...take a trip to the Keys...it does WONDERS for the soul!!!! ::bigsmilebounce:: It's not a cure, but it sure is one helluva great distraction for a while.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
t. Pete Straight
early 80s

Offline TRUCKER

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« Reply #21 on: September 24, 2003, 10:31:00 PM »
Reality must be a trigger word?Please re-read my use of reality and keep in proper context.I am telling what I saw.Reality to me is outside stimuli and how I reflect or perceive it to be.Thats all.Charges,3 each possesion with intent to distribute 5grams or more....cannibis,possesion with intent to distribute class I or II drug (cant remember)acid,and violation of probation.Dirty little secret,no...If you have a need to know.Yes, I have more stories about my time at the Seed.Heres one,after a oldcommers meeting late one night returning home with another seedling I got pulled over by a state trooper.He stated, I pulled you over for not coming to a complete stop at the red light and speeding.After reviewing my D.L. he procedes to tell me that I should be wearing corrective eye wear,one brake light was out,no tag light,tag was invalid, inspection sticker was out of date, and that I didnt use my turn signal at the light.What could I say? He then says where was I going in such a hurry? Home, I said.Who's that in the car with you? A friend ? Yes. Where are you coming from? The Seed I said.Oh is that right! He paused for couple of seconds and then said stay here for a minute and I'll be right back.He went back to the patrol car and came back in a minute or two and said son you have enough violations for me to haul you in,however,if you promise to stay on the other side of the canal ( I think Griffin RD)when coming to and from the Seed, and stop at lights, use turn signal,get all these vehicle violations fixed,slow down and  become a oldtimmer  I will let you go,Okay,.I said yes sir. He then handed me my D.L. and a warning ticket turned around and left.The next day I got into my car to go to school and saw the warning ticket on the  seat I turned it over and all it said was "The Seed loves You!"

                               Trucker
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #22 on: September 25, 2003, 11:00:00 AM »
yecchhh!. More proof the cops were all fucking seed marks. What a crazy time in the history of Florida, when the cops all helped force you into a cult!!!!
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Offline Antigen

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« Reply #23 on: September 25, 2003, 12:14:00 PM »
Yeah, no kiddin! I got extradicted from Georgia by the State of Florida for the "crime" of running away a couple of months before my 18th birthday. These are the same people who are now trying to put Richard Bradbury under the jail for the "crime" of drawing attention to Mel Sembler's criminal past.

I understand it's the same way now with Growing Together in Lake Worth.

A wise and frugal government, which shall restrain men from injuring one another; shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement
http://laissezfairebooks.com/product.cfm?op=view&pid=FF7485&aid=10247' target='_new'>Thomas Jefferson  

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
~ Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Sweet Judy Blue Eyes

Offline surfdal

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« Reply #24 on: September 25, 2003, 07:31:00 PM »
in requiem  in memory
 of my friend jim
who wasnt all right
who needed help
and got harangued.
who in his quiet
 and tortured
depression
was sent
 to seed
they stood him up
they confronted his need
with ignorance.
he tried till he
could bare no more
 then let a bullet quiet
his demons
and no
the seed did not
love jim but but i guess
he is ok now.
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opulater

Offline GregFL

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« Reply #25 on: September 26, 2003, 11:00:00 AM »
Well, if the seed saved trucker, I guess it killed Jim. It also fucked up countless people's families and lives, including mine.

Thank god I recovered, but everyone didn't. I have friends who graduated that killed themselves in various ways..I still, 30 years later, get emails and telephone calls from upset people  remembering the mental torture and loss of family that the Seed caused. Many haven't told their wives and husbands, they are so ashamed.

Trucker, if you took something positive from the Seed, you are one of the lucky ones. Most people I know were harmed to varying degrees by their experience. Many won't even discuss it, or if they do they break down in tears.

Anger, Shame,feelings of being different from everybody else, loss of self-worth, problems with interpersonal relationships...these are the common "benefits" to spending your youth in thought reform. Surprisingly,everyone doesn't seem to be  affected in the same way. There seems to be other factors at work such as the level of involvement with your family, your age and time spent, your propensity to rebel..

Consider yourself lucky.

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
-- Emo Phillips

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Offline TRUCKER

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« Reply #26 on: October 15, 2003, 07:47:00 AM »
"Life is full of stumbles and falls,how many time depends on ones vision."
                        TRUCKER
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Offline GregFL

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« Reply #27 on: October 15, 2003, 06:34:00 PM »
"sometimes you stumble or fall because some son of a bitch trips you"

GregFL

"I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease."
 "That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress."
--Disraeli to Gladstone

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Offline Flblondegirl

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« Reply #28 on: October 24, 2003, 03:42:00 AM »
How impossible is it for someone not to see the damage done to those who were just children at that time, clearly in an effort to market to our parents worst fears, all for nothing more than to pursue a buck!
The time I spent in the Seed was a nightmare for me and my family but I had parents who in the end saw through the sales pitch they had been given.
And getting me free from that mess;  hell, just finding me, was no easy task! But  because of them, I knew I would get past it all.
I lost friends going in and lost Seed friends when I left...so I learned about being my  own  person in spite of Seed group mentality.
It was a terrible injustice done that we all carry scars from but unless you actively bring something positive from that pain they are still the captors......and thats in our control
Best of Everything to everyone from Lakewood and St. Pete.....
Clare -  Lakewood "76
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Offline GregFL

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« Reply #29 on: October 26, 2003, 11:56:00 AM »
Thank you so much for those wise words and welcome to our forum. You are so lucky that your parents finally saw the light. It sounds like they were always on your side, and you are very fortunate.

I would so much like to hear more of your story, Clare...and I wish I could remember your face.

Do you remember mine..?

It takes a village idiot to believe that a family needs instruction from the government to raise a child.
-- Anonymous homeschooler



[ This Message was edited by: GregFL on 2003-10-26 08:58 ]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »