I liberated my 16-year-old daughter from Friendship Glen School, a
behavior-modification boarding school, on July 20, 2000. She had been
there since April 1, almost four months. My daughter was a typical
"troubled teen" and the reasons we sent her there were common ones. She
was rebellious, depressed, and angry -- getting in trouble at school,
drinking alcohol, hanging with the wrong crowd, seemingly out of control.
My ex-husband and I were desperate, frustrated parents who just wanted to
do what was best to protect her and get her back on track. It was time for
"tough love," we were told.
We heard about Friendship Glen School from a so-called expert who said
that it was one of the best boarding schools for "difficult teens" in the
country. The school is owned and operated by a large for-profit provider of
"services for at-risk youth."
Friendship Glen is remotely located in a stunningly beautiful, wild and
green place in the northwest where you'd love to vacation. But for the
children, of course, this is no vacation.
Celebrities -- like ______ ________, _______ _______, and ________ --
had sent their daughters there and since the school cost so much (over
$5,000 a month!) it must really be good, right? After a quick site visit and
chat with an admissions counselor and after reading their glossy brochures
and looking at their web site, we were seduced into sending our daughter
away.
We hired one of school's recommended escort services, a man and a
woman, who captured our daughter while she was at school in Santa Fe and
led her away crying in handcuffs. She was kept in those painful handcuffs
all the way to the airport. They lied to her about where she was going and
what to expect once she got there.
From the beginning, I tried to be cooperative, supportive, and play along
with the school's games (designed to make the parents feel like part of a
"team") but my gut instincts told me something was terribly wrong. Many
staffers didn't seem to be all that qualified or professional, considering how
much money we were investing in this program. To tell the truth, it wasn't
even our money. The money came from a trust fund that my ex-husband's
parents had established for my daughter's college education. My ex-husband
signed the checks, but in reality, my daughter was paying for her own
incarceration, against her will.
Friendship Glen School's whole objective is to keep the kids there as long
as possible, to maximize profits. The school will do whatever it can to
convince the parents that their children are "not ready" to return home. In the
case of divorced parents, they will pit one parent against the other.
I didn't like the school's coercive behavior modification techniques or their
policy of isolating children from their families. Children are allowed to talk
to their parents for 15 minutes once every two weeks. Phone calls are
monitored and if the child begs to come home or says anything negative
about the school, that is grounds for punishment and prompt termination of
the phone call. Letters written by the children are read by staff first and will
not be sent if the child begs to come home or reports negative things about
the school. Four times a year, parents are allowed to visit their children, but
the children cannot go home to visit during the first year. The rules are not
as strict for the children of celebrities, of course.
The school is very paranoid about negative messages or cries for help
getting to the outside. When I went to the school to pull my daughter out, I
was confronted by a male staffer who insisted on being with us while my
daughter packed her bags, to prevent other children from slipping messages
to her that could be delivered "to the outside."
Nor did I like the drug-pushing philosophy of the "mental health
professionals" who oversaw my daughter's treatment and wanted to up the
dosage of the antidepressant they were feeding her. Their mindset seemed to
be "keep 'em on drugs and they'll be easier to control!" They ridiculed me in
front of my daughter after I expressed concern that Prozac could have
harmful side effects.
I found out that being at Friendship Glen School was more like being at a
labor camp or thought-control camp than a school. My daughter chopped
and hauled firewood for the first three months she was there and was put on
"work assignments" whenever she disobeyed a rule. The classes were "a
joke" she said and she only had a few short sessions with a therapist, which
we paid extra for. Then there were rap sessions during which the children
screamed and were screamed at and broken down psychologically. Sleep
deprivation was used during intense sessions to break the kids down.
In many ways, Friendship Glen operates like a cult that sucks you in, takes
your money, screws you up, and brainwashes you into believing that it's
good for you. My ex-husband certainly was brainwashed. He thought the
school was great and wanted to keep my daughter there until she was 18. I
wanted her out but didn't know what to do, since we have joint custody and
I could not afford a lawyer. I prayed and cried and raged about the situation
and then one day was led to my computer to research and investigate the
school. What I found was utterly shocking and disturbing. All of my worst
fears were confirmed.
On the Internet, I found articles in newspapers' archives about a student riot,
child abuse and neglect, violations of laws and regulations, condemnations
by the state of Idaho, lawsuits against the school, a suspicious suicide, and
even a report of an Friendship Glen School escort drugging and raping a
woman employee. I talked with lawyers who were representing families
that were suing the school and to a local law enforcement official who told
me about the dark side of Friendship Glen. I was urged to do whatever it
took to get her out immediately before serious psychological damage was
done. I visited
http://www.teenliberty.org, a web site that exposes the whole
racket of teen boarding schools and boot camps and also read the
eye-opening book An American Gulag: Secret P.O.W. Camps for Teens by
Alexia Parks. I learned that facilities like Friendship Glen School and
others even more repressive systematically violate the human and legal
rights of thousands of children in America every year. Deaths in these
facilities are not uncommon.
I also read the policy statement of the Association of Child and Adolescent
Psychiatric Nurses (ACAPN) regarding the rights of children in treatment
facilities and behavior modification boarding schools, and was shocked to
see that Friendship Glen School was in flagrant violation of nearly every
recommended standard! Even convicted murderers in federal prisons have
more rights than do the children at behavior-modification boarding schools
and boot camps.
I know in my heart that I did the right thing when I pulled my daughter out of
Friendship Glen, even though it was against my ex-husband's wishes. I also
know that I must now face his wrath and a court battle. What I don't know is
where I will get the money to pay legal fees and court costs. I need financial
help and I also need the support of former school inmates and employee
whistle-blowers to provide first-hand testimony about what really goes on
inside.
State agencies and organizations like Human Rights Watch, Amnesty
International, and the ACLU need to investigate these facilities and start
pushing to protect the legal and human rights of the children who are
trapped inside.
My daughter can survive teenhood without repressive boarding schools and
boot camps. She is a good kid - intelligent, creative, compassionate, and
full of life. She is not a criminal and neither are any of the other kids
incarcerated at Friendship Glen School. They did not fail us. We as parents,
and as a society, have failed our children.
