Re: OUR WE RUINING OUR CHILDREN WITHOUT KNOWING IT?

[Whooter]

I believe it is a parent responisiblity to allow their children to feel comfortable with speaking, some try to shut them up and not hear them. They have a lot to say if we keep our mouths closed to get it all out, even if we know they are full of it, we remain quiet to let them express themselves. Once they speak then compromise to equally fit both needs as the parent and as the child. We all were the teenager once, how as we grew into adulthood and mid age hood we tend to not remember those years. I believe parents are fearful of giving children control, you aren't giving control away you are teaching restraint, and compromise.

I think you have a good point.  If kids don’t want to bring their friends into the house there could well be a problem with the house (not necessarily with the child).  As parents we need to "teach" our children to be comfortable speaking openly and expressing themselves by listening and being good role models.



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[Anonymous]

Whooter,
You respond like your overflowing with confidence that separation of child and parents works. We are just about the only western society that does this (albeit Australia) in vast numbers. Look it up. Now I'm sure you know this already, this is what interest me. What exactly is your point. I have read your posts and I'm still asking. (not being a smartass)
I would venture to say, pressure put on parents to actually be there in the household and more time involved in childrens
lives would put a serious dent in this problem of separation.    :shamrock:  :shamrock:  :shamrock:

[Pile of Dead Kids]

Because he's a shill, probably a paid one.

[maruska]

In the US It is an extremely small segment of the population who end up going to these schools. Americans, in general, are typically pro active and like to nip a problem in the bud and find solutions before a major problem occurs. We see the conditions of the juvy homes and prisons here in the US as well as in Europe and many (in the US)have decided that we prefer an alternative. Europeans have the same problems we do they just decided not to address the issues. Once we perfect a good alternative you will sit up and notice and adopt our methods as you have always done. Until that time you will just sit back and watch the rest of the world move forward, turn a blind eye to your kids and criticize the US for their actions.



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Ok...I have to burst your bubble, Whooter...you really seem to think that this kind of schools are an American invention?  Wrong...very...in the 1920 in Russia, Makarenko, a Russian pedagogue, founded such  schools...he used the same methods that are used in the troubled teen industry in the US  TODAY...work details, silence, positive peer pressure, levels etc...it is nothing new, really...maybe that is why you do not find such schools in Europe today...Those schools were communist schools...and raised great commies.


You know, I do not have all the answers..sure, raising teenagers is hard ..but is it a parent´s job, has always been,...nobody can replace parents...and I think it is a very dangerous trend, to make the parents believe they would not succeed, they would not make it..and somebody else could do a better job. This is what bothers me...this is what I do not understand....

So far your responses did not persuade me...but I must say I enjoy the conversation with you...you must be a very funny person in reall life  :nods:

[RavingMad]

all kids hide stuff from parents we do not tell them shit cus they dont understand to much age difference

[RavingMad]

parents just kinda look at us judgementally  that make us shut up

[Whooter]

Ok...I have to burst your bubble, Whooter...you really seem to think that this kind of schools are an American invention? Wrong...very...in the 1920 in Russia, Makarenko, a Russian pedagogue, founded such schools...he used the same methods that are used in the troubled teen industry in the US TODAY...work details, silence, positive peer pressure, levels etc...it is nothing new, really...maybe that is why you do not find such schools in Europe today...Those schools were communist schools...and raised great commies.

Everything is rooted somewhere.  They can now trace all of us humans back to 9 people and I have a great great Grandfather who spent time in jail, but that doesn’t make us all guilty or distrustful.
Silence isn’t a bad thing.  I think forcing kids to yell could be worse for them…. Working isn’t a bad thing either.  Most of us work.  Positive peer pressure is created naturally in life…. Nothing wrong with a level system either.  Not sure how you find these things unique to communism.

You know, I do not have all the answers..sure, raising teenagers is hard ..but is it a parent´s job, has always been,...nobody can replace parents...and I think it is a very dangerous trend, to make the parents believe they would not succeed, they would not make it..and somebody else could do a better job. This is what bothers me...this is what I do not understand....

I don’t think any of us have all the answers, maruska.  Of all the parents I have met none of them struck me as being afraid of hard work.  They were concerned parents who all happen to have at-risk children.  None of them wanted to ship their kids off.  If there were a solution at home that they had not tried yet they would have jumped at the opportunity.  Taking care of kids is a parents job, but when a child needs help that they cannot provide then they need to look outside the family.  We parents are teachers, doctors, psychiatrists, cooks, maids etc. but when our kids get into situations that are outside our abilities we take them to specialists to assist us.  We don’t expect doctors or local school system to take over as parents for us when we take them for checkups or ship them off to school.  We are looking for help.  Some of us do homeschool but others ship their kids off and expect someone else to do that job.

So far your responses did not persuade me...but I must say I enjoy the conversation with you...you must be a very funny person in reall life

I don’t expect to persuade you, maruska.  The only people who would ever think of sending a child to a therapeutic boarding school would be one who had a child at-risk who has exhausted all other options.  If I had not been in the situation myself I would think people would be crazy to ship their kids off, like you do.  So I don’t look down on you or judge you because you are against this industry.  You just haven’t been exposed to the positive end of the industry and don’t have all the facts
As far as being funny… I think most people who have had a chance to meet me know I don’t take life too seriously and like to have fun.  Many others think I am just a pain in the ass.



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[psy]

Whooter,
You respond like your overflowing with confidence that separation of child and parents works. We are just about the only western society that does this (albeit Australia) in vast numbers.

Actually, its quite common in the UK as well, but they send their kids to actual boarding schools.

[Joel]

Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010

[Oz girl]

Whooter,
You respond like your overflowing with confidence that separation of child and parents works. We are just about the only western society that does this (albeit Australia) in vast numbers. Look it up. Now I'm sure you know this already, this is what interest me. What exactly is your point. I have read your posts and I'm still asking. (not being a smartass)
I would venture to say, pressure put on parents to actually be there in the household and more time involved in childrens
lives would put a serious dent in this problem of separation.    :shamrock:  :shamrock:  :shamrock:

To the best of my knowledge we dont yet have these schools in Australia. Were you refering to the mercy ministries scandal?

[Joel]

Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010

[Whooter]

Whooter,

I don't now you personally.  Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora members are well versed in "program lingo."  In my opinion, I don't think you  necessarily have to speak to users like an educational consultant, psychologist and/or psychiatrist.

I agree with you.   I read back over my posts and dont see that I was speaking like that.  I don't have a background in those areas either.



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[Anonymous]

Whooter,

I don't now you personally.  Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora members are well versed in "program lingo."  In my opinion, I don't think you  necessarily have to speak to users like an educational consultant, psychologist and/or psychiatrist.

I agree with you.   I read back over my posts and dont see that I was speaking like that.  I don't have a background in those areas either.



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:shamrock:
Then why at times if we really go back over our posts do we try and sound like that.....Really!!!!!!    lol :shamrock:

[Whooter]

Whooter,

I don't now you personally.  Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora members are well versed in "program lingo."  In my opinion, I don't think you  necessarily have to speak to users like an educational consultant, psychologist and/or psychiatrist.

I agree with you.   I read back over my posts and dont see that I was speaking like that.  I don't have a background in those areas either.



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:shamrock:
Then why at times if we really go back over our posts do we try and sound like that.....Really!!!!!!    lol :shamrock:

I am not sure what you mean.  I dont think survivors here on fornits are "trying" to sound a certain way.  They use "Program lingo" and such because that is what they have been taught and reflects what they have been exposed to in life.  I speak the way I do because of what and who I have been exposed to over my lifetime.  If there is a specific post that you can point to we could go over it if you like.



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[Anonymous]

Whooter,

I don't now you personally.  Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora members are well versed in "program lingo."  In my opinion, I don't think you  necessarily have to speak to users like an educational consultant, psychologist and/or psychiatrist.

I agree with you.   I read back over my posts and dont see that I was speaking like that.  I don't have a background in those areas either.



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:shamrock:
Then why at times if we really go back over our posts do we try and sound like that.....Really!!!!!!    lol :shamrock:

I am not sure what you mean.  I dont think survivors here on fornits are "trying" to sound a certain way.  They use "Program lingo" and such because that is what they have been taught and reflects what they have been exposed to in life.  I speak the way I do because of what and who I have been exposed to over my lifetime.  If there is a specific post that you can point to we could go over it if you like.



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:shamrock:
that is a fair statement whooter and you have no arguement from me. THANKS........ :shamrock: