Palin is the first VP candidate I ever rubbed one out to. That that isn't saying much considering the only other female VP candidate was Geraldine Ferraro, and God bless the woman but she is a boner killer.
That said, rubbing one out to Sarah Palin was dull and unsatisfactory, much like sex with her probably is. It must be annoying when she yells "Oh! Goshdarnit!" during sex.
Did I ever mention the time I fucked Sarah Palin? I was on 3rd phase and going to school at Mirror Lake in Anchorage, when one day, after school, I heard an older female voice call from behind me. I turned around, surprised to see Sarah Palin.
"I'm giving you a ride today", she said, flashing that sexy smile of hers and indicating a large Cadillac with tinted windows.
"Thanks Mrs. Palin" I replied, holding her door open for her. I went around to the other side of the car and was shocked to see a bottle of Cutty Sark and a couple of shot glasses in plain sight, right next to a tray of sensimilla and a mirror with two fat, white rails laid out on it.
"Don't be nervous" she said, "we'll just have a little party here. It'll be our little secret." She uncapped the Cutty and took a long pull, then passed me the bottle. I tilted my head back for a long draw of scotch, and heard her snorting up a line as I felt her hand groping at my cock and balls. I took another deep draw from the bottle as fear, revulsion ,and a sick sense of desire filled me.
"It's OK" she said, "here--do a line"
I took the mirror she handed me, and the rolled up $100 bill, and bent down to see my wild-eyed reflection in the mirror as she unzipped my pants.
"I've never done coke before" I said, kind of nervously.
"Oh, that's not cocaine, silly boy, that's PCP. It's very decadent. Todd and I like to do it when we watch bestiality movies we made on our honeymoon".
"Oh", I said, feeling my dick reluctantly getting hard to her touch and a buzzing noise in my head.
"Why don't you roll us a joint?" she said, right before she bent down and swollowed my engorged prick and began skillfully fellating me.
"Sure" I said, feeling hazy yet strangely aroused as she continued inhaling my shaft.
Suddenly she stopped sucking, sat up, and told me to light up the joint I had barely been able to roll. As I lit it up and took a deep toke into my lungs, she pulled down the black polyester slacks she was wearing to reveal that she had no panties on. She took the joint from me, hit it a couple of times, thenthrew herself over the seat, with her ass in the air.
"FUCK ME ! FUCK ME IN THE ASS LIKE THE SLUT I AM!" she screamed, and I plunged my drug-crazed dick into her bung hole, feeling her convulse with joy as I buried my dick in her ass.
She passed the joint back to me and I hit it again and again as I continued probing her anus with my johnson. Sweat poured down my face and I continued to pump her butt as I wiped the perspiration of my forehead. She began screaming again, making wild animal noises, and just as I was about to cum, she yelled out "Look over your shoulder RIGHT NOW!"
Startled, I did as she said, and what I saw when I did was a sight I will never foget. Over my shoulder I saw Miller Newton, dressed in a torn Girl Scout uniform, furiously masturbating himself as he watched us. Then he pulled out a bible, and opened it up so he could ejaculate within it's pages.
I guess it was the PCP, maybe the weed, or the scotch, but I statred laughing. Sarah Palin slapped me across the face and said " You just got yourself a 3-day Away From Home, Druggie!"
