we miss you!!!!!

[Anonymous]

I don't know if this is ok to do, someone can let me know.
To Kristi S*w*l*  We miss you so much & love you.  You do have a family here that cares deeply for you regardless of what has gone on.  You can come home if only to visit us.  We all want you to be part of the family again..  Your Grandmother Nam, Mom, sister,Dad, Aunt L.& W., your cousins.  My granddaughter needs to know her real family and that she has a real family here. It is unhealthy for her not to know us. It breaks my heart that M. N. has torn our family apart.  I realize now, after reading all the messages, just how much damage has been to all of the kids that were in the program  I have miss out on so much of your life. The last time I was really with you was before I tricked you into that program. That was when you were 18 and now you are 36.  I regret that so much. I still have a hard time believing that this has happened.  A mother knows what is in her childs heart and who you are. You were such a wonderful daughter, regardless of what you have told me.  Kristi, nothing will happen to you if you leave that program.  You will be fine and so much better off.
Your Dad is not well, I don't know what is wrong with him.  He won't go to the doctor.  He hasn't been the best, but he is still your dad & he loves you.  Your Nam is 81 now and is doing pretty good for someone her age, she does have health problems.  I am still teaching and sober 19 years now.   PLEASE come back to us before it's to late.  I hope you see this. I will continue to post. Your Mom

[Anonymous]

That post IS okay to do.  Your posting to your daughter is the best use for this bbs since it's inception.  There is nothing that the board could be better used for.  I am not sure if you saw this but there was a telephone number on another thread regarding Kristi (201.790.4540).  I knew Kristi, you, and Lissa well in the El Paso program and I support your cause wholeheartedly.

I left KIDS of El Paso as a graduate staff member and it did not go without many family struggles in the early days.  Later I learned that my family was the most valuable resource that God ever gave to me and despite differing beliefs or ideas fostered by the program, our family was and still is *our family*.  As it was when I was a child, as it was as a struggling teenager before KIDS, during KIDS, and into today.
 
Family is family!

My grandmother filed one of the first complaints against the KIDS of El Paso program that eventually led to program closure after KIDS ran out of money from exhausting everything in legal defense.  I am now so glad that I took advantage of the opportunity to see her and spend time with her before her passing.  If you read this Kristi, please realize the importance of this.  I am certain that your grandmother would love to see you and her great-grandchild before she gets any older as would the rest of your family.  Life is much too short to live with regret for passing up on opportunities such as this.

Secondary to program related suicides, I think that this is a most tragic example of what resulted from KIDS.  For a program that placed so much emphasis on drug abuse being "a family disease", and that assured "the end would justify the means" a family split apart and grandchildren not knowing/no longer knowing thier grandparents is unforgiveable.

Your comment "nothing will happen to you if you leave that program" also places emphasis on the continuation of a current program mentality that continues to pervade through former KIDS teens  though KIDS of NJ closed in 1999.  Though the program is no longer housed at the same address, it still exists and is very real in the minds of many that were/are committed to "the tools of personal change" that used to hang on the wall.  

I remember my grandmother sent me a letter at school when I was on third phase that said those exact words (I found out later as a graduate).  I never read the letter as I thought it was appropriate to "follow my conscience" and turn it directly over to staff.  That was the last time that I chose the program over my family.  As a matter of fact that is likely the last time KIDS conscience made a decision for me.  

My conscience today dictates my life.  That is a freedom that I will never again forfeit in the name of any philosophy, principal, nor program.  

I wish all the best for both of you,
Kristi and Nancy.

anonymous

[Christy]

Your post pulled at my heartstrings and I feel for you.  I agree - I have never seen this site put to better use.  Best wishes for you & your daughter, Kristi.  I will pray for your family.

Christy J

[Anonymous]

Please know that you are supported here. I truly hope Kristi realizes the value of family and has a change of heart. It is possible. I went through it myself with my parents after the program.

[Anonymous]

Kristi this is your little sister. You know all these years i keep saying by the time she (you) turns thirty she will come around. Well that has pasted and your a no show !! You have alot of family that loves you alot. It took me alot of years to figure that out. We all make mistakes.But we are family. Your were my best friend for years. So now lets move on. Id like to meet my niece. I miss you !!  :wave:

[John Olsakovsky]

My first instinct is to make jokes about a "Love ya!" being missing.  
It's my nature.

I guess I'm pretty damned fortunate to have not had siblings in Kids...  Of course I have no siblings to have gone into Kids.
My family didn't get destrpoyed by Newton.

I'm one of the fortunate ones.