Author Topic: My son at Aspen Ranch  (Read 93490 times)

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Offline Troll Control

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Re: My son at Aspen Ranch
« Reply #45 on: September 04, 2009, 05:19:38 PM »
Hang in there, Niles.  Your son will be home soon enough.  When he gets home just take him out of the pine box and tell him how proud you are of him for not quitting the program.  Good luck!
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: Aspen Ranch abuses and tortures detainees
« Reply #46 on: September 04, 2009, 05:31:15 PM »
http://www.heal-online.org/aspenranch.htm

ASPEN RANCH

IN LOA, UT
SURVIVOR REPORTS
 
SURVIVOR REPORT #1 BY ANONYMOUS
I wish I knew where to begin.  I will try to focus on the most disturbing experiences i can
remember but, like many other survivors of such programs i find myself having a hard time remembering everything that went on.  

For the first two weeks you arrive at Aspen Ranch you are placed on a level known as round-up.  During this period of time you are either silent in a basement, or outside doing manual labor (changing watering pipes, building fences etc).  

You can not have any contact with your parents and get to talk to a therapist maybe once or twice.  

One July morning when I refused to go outside, the sheets were ripped out from under me and I was carried and thrown onto a staircase where two men put my shoes on picked me up and dragged me to the field where I was to work.  Afraid of any other forms of punishment,
I did.  Being physically threatened is a major way they get you to follow the rules.  


Every week you got to speak with your parents,  on speakerphone, with your therapist present for 20 minutes.  If you ever tried to tell your parents about the torture you were suffering through the conversation would be immediately terminated.  All letters were read before sent,
all incoming mail opened read and inspected before given to you.  The only contact allowed was to your parents and had to be positive.  

On top of whatever work project your team was assigned to each day you also had to participate in an hour long physical, no matter how physically drained you were.  People would sometimes pass out or break down begging to stop but, for the most part the physical went on for as long as the supervisor saw fit.  


The psychological abuse was never ending, if you were suspected of doing something wrong you would be forced to go into the basement and sit at a desk until you admitted what you were accused of.  We were often threatened to be sent to an out of country program where we were told there was no child labor laws, I still don't know if this program exists but, the mere threat was enough to keep most of us "in line".  

I could go on forever with stories of this sort.  My main point though, please do not put your child through
this, two years later I am still suffering from the lies I was fed.
 
Please protect my identity.  I know this is not a complete story but I think it gets the point across.  If you need my full name and dates I attended the program for your own records I can let you know, thanks so much for raising awareness about such horrible programs.
 
SURVIVOR REPORT #2 BY ANON

These are all factual events that take place at aspen ranch everyday, these are events that have taken place and will continue to unless someone takes action soon. Everything in my statement is true and I give HEAL permission to use my
statement.

 I am a survivor of the aspen ranch school, located in Loa, UT.  A Theraputic Boarding school/ rehabilitation center.....my ass.  Aspen Ranch uses a physical restraint system called PCS (positive control system) which is actually FAR from positive. PCS includes a barrage or various pressure points and bent wrists, locked joints, and strained tendons.


Once put into PCS submission you are held here by a minimum of 3 staff, you're pulse regularly checked to indicate your level of anger.  You are normally on the ground (also known as "Carpet Time" for a norm of 45 minutes to an hour)  They use any method of getting you down, whether it be calmly asking you to cooperate with them or tackling you through a crowd of
people onto concrete (which seems to be a staff favorite). I have seen many of my friends at Aspen Ranch end up with broken wrists from PCS. I have myself lost the feeling in the tips of my fingers for days  as a result of being held in PCS submission for over 3 hours.


Once you are PCSed (on top of everything) you have to go to R&R (redirection and recovery)
more commonly known as the room where you where red sweat pants and sweat shirts even in the dead of the summer (in the Desert) to no avail.  

The "on campus" psychiatrist's prescribe you medications based on staff behavioral reports, without even consulting you to see how you feel about putting a new foreign substance into your body or checking past medical records (could be detrimental to your well being).   For example I myself was a bit ADHD according to staff, and the staff apparently thought that they were doing me a favor recommending that i be prescribed to Ritalin (methylphindate), which
actually led to a number of seizures...to bad they didn't bother to  check to see if my family had a history of amphetamine
related seizures.  thanks aspen ranch!!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline TheWho

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Re: My son at Aspen Ranch
« Reply #47 on: September 04, 2009, 05:41:55 PM »
Hang in there Nigel.  Dont let all the negative propaganda get to you.  One thing I did was compare what was written here to what my kid told me and I found the negative information posted here to have very little credibility.
Keep the communication with your sons therapist and with your son "open" and keep asking questions and you will eventually feel at ease with your decision and the safety of your son.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline NIGEL

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Re: My son at Aspen Ranch
« Reply #48 on: September 04, 2009, 06:10:22 PM »
I have read those survivor reports.  As I have said before, I am keeping my eyes and ears open.  I asked my son about any physical abuse, and he told me that he hadn't seen any (in 2.5 months) but he had heard stories about kids that wouldn't do what they were told, so they were first warned and then physically held.  As for the phone calls, I do know that the therapist is there with him, but I was also with him for 4 hours by ourselves and he didn't tell me that he was being forced to be cooperative and say only positive things.  As for the letters, he is very honest and open.  I have never got the feeling that he hasn't told me everything.  My son will be the first to report anything he feels is abuse (I am positive about this).  I am not writing here to advocate for The Aspen Ranch, only to ask for everyones advice and to let you know how my son is doing.  If I feel things are not good there, I will let you know, and if I feel it has been good for my son, I will also report that.
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: My son at Aspen Ranch
« Reply #49 on: September 04, 2009, 06:28:06 PM »
Quote from: NIGEL
Hi again,

My faults as a parent were that I would always get on him for all that he did wrong, and I didn't find the time to tell him that I was proud of him and that I loved him.  I am doing my best to make sure he knows that I see him working on things and that I am very proud of him.

While it is good to see you taking responsibility for your "troubled parent" behavior, did you really need to abandon your son to an abusive program to learn this?  You finally learned that people respond to love and encouragement and rebel against being criticized, nagged and being constantly told what they are doing wrong while anything they do right is ignored?  He can't "work on things" at home?  With the family and in the world he will return to and have to function in?  Your son wants and needs your love; it should be unconditional, not meted out as a reward for submitting to a program that is going to do in spades to him what you recognized you yourself did wrong with him.  You didn't find the time to tell him you were proud of him and love him while he was at home?  But you have certainly found the time to send him away...time you will never, ever get back, precious time with your child squandered in the service of a profit-making business run by people who will never ever appreciate the value of that time.
You sound like you really love your son and want to do the best for him.  You should figure out how much money you are willing to give these people then take that money, take a leave of absence from your job, take your son, sail around the world, backpack through Europe, visit Alaska or take a road trip, hang out and get to know each other, build some trust.  No matter how much you love your son unless you can communicate that to him in a way he will understand it is really just words.  That means you need to get to know who he really is and right now you don't. know him.  A program will only widen that gulf.  
While he may survive and even forgive you, you will lose something precious you will never get back:the chance to forge the kind of bond that will have a momumentally better affect on your son and his behavior that any program will ever be able to conjure up.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline TheWho

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Re: My son at Aspen Ranch
« Reply #50 on: September 04, 2009, 07:26:30 PM »
Quote from: "guest also"
Quote from: "NIGEL"
Hi again,

My faults as a parent were that I would always get on him for all that he did wrong, and I didn't find the time to tell him that I was proud of him and that I loved him.  I am doing my best to make sure he knows that I see him working on things and that I am very proud of him.

While it is good to see you taking responsibility for your "troubled parent" behavior, did you really need to abandon your son to an abusive program to learn this?  You finally learned that people respond to love and encouragement and rebel against being criticized, nagged and being constantly told what they are doing wrong while anything they do right is ignored?  He can't "work on things" at home?  With the family and in the world he will return to and have to function in?  Your son wants and needs your love; it should be unconditional, not meted out as a reward for submitting to a program that is going to do in spades to him what you recognized you yourself did wrong with him.  You didn't find the time to tell him you were proud of him and love him while he was at home?  But you have certainly found the time to send him away...time you will never, ever get back, precious time with your child squandered in the service of a profit-making business run by people who will never ever appreciate the value of that time.
You sound like you really love your son and want to do the best for him.  You should figure out how much money you are willing to give these people then take that money, take a leave of absence from your job, take your son, sail around the world, backpack through Europe, visit Alaska or take a road trip, hang out and get to know each other, build some trust.  No matter how much you love your son unless you can communicate that to him in a way he will understand it is really just words.  That means you need to get to know who he really is and right now you don't. know him.  A program will only widen that gulf.  
While he may survive and even forgive you, you will lose something precious you will never get back:the chance to forge the kind of bond that will have a momumentally better affect on your son and his behavior that any program will ever be able to conjure up.

If it would work that would be the best scenario.  I thought of going to the northeast for a few months and rent a cabin.  But I couldn’t get the leave of absence for my job and I have other kids at home to consider.  It wouldn’t be fair to them to just run off.  To tell you the truth my daughter wasn’t responding to any of it anyway at the time.

The best would have been to go back and do it over again but that isn’t possible.  Although we were apart a lot of the time, the time spent there was good for her.  It gave her time to focus on herself and figure out what was important to her.  The program boasted her self esteem and got her back to the books and actually brought her closer to her mother and me because we could work on our issues separately and realized how much we missed and depended on each other as a family.  The little time we did spend together was precious.  She blossomed like a flower, matured and learned to communicate her feelings very well so that there wasn’t anything we couldn’t talk about.

There was never a time she spent there that she didn’t feel safe.  Like Nigel stated about his son, if she ever wanted to come home because she was frightened or being abused she would have told me on our weekly phone calls or when we visited.
I am sorry you had such a bad experience and have read that some programs can treat kids that way here on fornits.  Maybe we were fortunate we chose the right program, but I would hesitate to do it again faced with the same circumstances.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline NIGEL

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Re: My son at Aspen Ranch
« Reply #51 on: September 04, 2009, 07:44:01 PM »
Quote
While it is good to see you taking responsibility for your "troubled parent" behavior, did you really need to abandon your son to an abusive program to learn this? You finally learned that people respond to love and encouragement and rebel against being criticized, nagged and being constantly told what they are doing wrong while anything they do right is ignored? He can't "work on things" at home? With the family and in the world he will return to and have to function in? Your son wants and needs your love; it should be unconditional, not meted out as a reward for submitting to a program that is going to do in spades to him what you recognized you yourself did wrong with him. You didn't find the time to tell him you were proud of him and love him while he was at home? But you have certainly found the time to send him away...time you will never, ever get back, precious time with your child squandered in the service of a profit-making business run by people who will never ever appreciate the value of that time.

I didn't abandon my son for me to learn any lessons.  I sent my son to Aspen Ranch because he was spiraling downwards and he was heading towards suicide.  We tried everything we could think of, and he was at the breaking point.  He claimed he hated my wife and me and he was running away and saying he was going to end his life.  When I tried to talk to him about how I could help him, he told me all of my advice sucked and he wasn't going to listen to me anymore.  When I told him that we could look for a relative that he could go to live with or a boarding school of his choice (not a therapeutic boarding school), he told us that he would kill us in our sleep if we ever tried to ship him out.  He was hurting down deep inside and we had to do something.

Whether sending him to The Aspen Ranch was the right decision, I'm not sure.  I am still evaluating it.  But I will say that he is safe, he is in a much better frame of mind, he claims he holds no anger towards us for sending him there and that he loves us.  I realize he might be saying all of these things trying to manipulate us into bringing him home, but he seems sincere.  

I don't mind hearing from the people that tell me that I did the wrong thing, as I am listening to both sides and then also using my best Judgement on what direction I should take with my son.  Your'e right, I do love my son very much---and that is why I took this drastic step.  I realize their might be repurcusions, but I feel that if I hadn't taken this step, he would be either dead or living on the streets by now.
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Offline psy

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Re: My son at Aspen Ranch
« Reply #52 on: September 04, 2009, 07:44:31 PM »
Quote from: "NIGEL"
I have read those survivor reports.  As I have said before, I am keeping my eyes and ears open.  I asked my son about any physical abuse, and he told me that he hadn't seen any (in 2.5 months) but he had heard stories about kids that wouldn't do what they were told, so they were first warned and then physically held.  As for the phone calls, I do know that the therapist is there with him, but I was also with him for 4 hours by ourselves and he didn't tell me that he was being forced to be cooperative and say only positive things.  As for the letters, he is very honest and open.  I have never got the feeling that he hasn't told me everything.  My son will be the first to report anything he feels is abuse (I am positive about this).  I am not writing here to advocate for The Aspen Ranch, only to ask for everyones advice and to let you know how my son is doing.  If I feel things are not good there, I will let you know, and if I feel it has been good for my son, I will also report that.

My fear is that he might not realize what is going on is not healthy until later.  It depends.  Some turn out fine.  Some find what goes on to be deeply hurtful.  Then again I don't know much about Aspen Ranch specifically, or their methods.  The survivor reports are consistent with what I would suspect: little if any physical abuse, some thought reform.

"if you were suspected of doing something wrong you would be forced to go into the basement and sit at a desk until you admitted what you were accused of." is an indication of some things but other than the restraints described, I'd have to actually interview somebody to get a good idea of the psychological methods of change they're using.  If there are no LifeStep seminars they might not use LGATs at all.  That's a good sign.

If what you're describing with the sheet of paper example is the sole method of how they influence the kids to change, I don't see the problem there.  What I wonder about is what you're not hearing and the methods they use in group "therapy" (i.e. is it confrontational attack therapy", are there licensed therapists, etc...).  With such tactics it's easy to get a person to not only admit to having problems they don't have but also get them to accept those problems as part of their identities, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.  For example: you say he was smoking pot and taking LSD.  While I don't endorse or condemn those things, they are objectively non-addictive.  If they convince him he is an addict, powerless over those substances, and that he has a lifelong progressive and fatal disease, he'll then act based on those beliefs...  making a non-issue into a genuine problem.  With such beliefs you could convince a person they were addicted to tap water and they would binge on it (and studies similar to this have been done).  As you can tell, I'm not a huge fan of the disease concept.  Are you in a 12 step group or have any relatives in it by any chance?  Often I find parents with these beliefs tend to see the worst in their kids.

The only sure way you're going to find that out about all this is to wait until he's not only home, but out of your house.  Many kids never trust their parents after being sent to a program.  Was he escorted there?
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Offline psy

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Re: My son at Aspen Ranch
« Reply #53 on: September 04, 2009, 07:56:41 PM »
Quote from: "NIGEL"
I didn't abandon my son for me to learn any lessons.  I sent my son to Aspen Ranch because he was spiraling downwards and he was heading towards suicide.  We tried everything we could think of, and he was at the breaking point.  He claimed he hated my wife and me and he was running away and saying he was going to end his life.  When I tried to talk to him about how I could help him, he told me all of my advice sucked and he wasn't going to listen to me anymore.  When I told him that we could look for a relative that he could go to live with or a boarding school of his choice (not a therapeutic boarding school), he told us that he would kill us in our sleep if we ever tried to ship him out.  He was hurting down deep inside and we had to do something.

It sounds like he had some issues for sure.  I wonder, though, whether the program will help him understand the root causes of why he was doing what he was doing.  He might act better out of fear or thought reform, but if the change isn't from within it won't last.

Quote
Whether sending him to The Aspen Ranch was the right decision, I'm not sure.  I am still evaluating it.  But I will say that he is safe, he is in a much better frame of mind, he claims he holds no anger towards us for sending him there and that he loves us.  I realize he might be saying all of these things trying to manipulate us into bringing him home, but he seems sincere.

LOL.  Well I guess you'll find out if he gets home and you don't' end up killed in your sleep.  Seriously, though.  Especially if he was escorted there you'll have to consider the possibility that he'll actually be afraid of you...  scared into good behavior.  I'm not sure ruling through fear is a good parenting style.
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Offline Troll Control

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Re: My son at Aspen Ranch
« Reply #54 on: September 04, 2009, 07:57:47 PM »
Hey Nigel,

I just want to fill in a few facts that the poster (known as TheWho) is leaving out of his 'story' he's telling you.

1.  He never had a child at Aspen Ranch.  Never.  So he's trying to lead you to belive he did, but he didn't.  He's known here as a liar.

2.  He claims his daughter went 'back to the books' but she actually dropped out of school as soon as she couls when she got home.

3.  He claims she 'blossomed like a flower' but she actually went directly back to hardcore drug and alcohol abuse within a few days of coming home.

4.  He claims her program helped reunite his family, but his daughter actually estranged herself from him as soon as she came home.

5.  He claims she's now successful, but she's a marginally employed highschool dropout living with a drug addict boyfriend out of wedlock.

Just thought you should know the truth about the guy advising you and what he claims is 'success.'  You should also know he runs a feeder referral service for AEG.  

Cheers,
Longtime Poster with Knowledge about TheWho
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Offline psy

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Re: My son at Aspen Ranch
« Reply #55 on: September 04, 2009, 08:15:18 PM »
Yeah.  He did admit his daughter now refuses to talk to him.
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Offline TheWho

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Re: My son at Aspen Ranch
« Reply #56 on: September 04, 2009, 08:22:14 PM »
Quote from: "Guest"
Hey Nigel,

I just want to fill in a few facts that the poster (known as TheWho) is leaving out of his 'story' he's telling you.

1.  He never had a child at Aspen Ranch.  Never.  So he's trying to lead you to belive he did, but he didn't.  He's known here as a liar.

2.  He claims his daughter went 'back to the books' but she actually dropped out of school as soon as she couls when she got home.

3.  He claims she 'blossomed like a flower' but she actually went directly back to hardcore drug and alcohol abuse within a few days of coming home.

4.  He claims her program helped reunite his family, but his daughter actually estranged herself from him as soon as she came home.

5.  He claims she's now successful, but she's a marginally employed highschool dropout living with a drug addict boyfriend out of wedlock.

Just thought you should know the truth about the guy advising you and what he claims is 'success.'  You should also know he runs a feeder referral service for AEG.  

Cheers,
Longtime Poster with Knowledge about TheWho

Seems someone is tiny bit upset that Nigels son is getting the help he needs like most of the other kids there (you are so hoping that he will fail).  Time to bring out the guns and start discrediting any poster who says anything positive about Aspen Ranch.  Sorry that you cannot contribute to the conversation and can only insert lies or beat up any poster who has a differing opinion.  Not cool.  Lets keep the posts honest or supply links to back up your posts!!!

Welcome to the open forum everyone!!
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Offline NIGEL

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Re: My son at Aspen Ranch
« Reply #57 on: September 04, 2009, 08:28:16 PM »
He was escorted there.  As I said, he had told us that he would kill us if we tried to "ship him out" .  I was very worried about this process and what it might do to our relationship in the future.  I contacted an escort service.  I walked in to his room at 7 am and told him I loved him.  I quickly told him that his mother and I felt like this was the only thing we could do to save his life.  The two escorts then spent 45 minutes in his room with him describing what was going to happen over the rest of the day.  They explained that he could come quietly or they could restrain him, but either way he was going to go.  My son went quietly and cooperatively.  I thought they did a very professional Job in a compassionate way.  Since this time, I have talked to my son and he knows why I did what I did.  I told him that I felt like I needed to lie to him and I explained that I only did it to save his life.  He agrees with me that he wouldn't have gone voluntarily and that he knows he was messed up.  

My biggest concern now is knowing when it is right to bring him home.  He wants to come home asap.  I want to bring him home when I know he is ready (there is no easy way to make sure you are doing it at the right time).  I will continue to evaluate.

 I am thankful that there is a forum where I can hear both sides.  I don't believe everything I read, but I am open minded enough to realize that there is abuse in some programs (there is mental and physical abuse in our schools throughout the world as well), and I am paying close attention to everything that is going on.  I will continue to assess and I will let you all know how things are going.
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Offline TheWho

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Re: My son at Aspen Ranch
« Reply #58 on: September 04, 2009, 08:47:36 PM »
Quote from: "psy"

LOL.  Well I guess you'll find out if he gets home and you don't' end up killed in your sleep.  Seriously, though.  Especially if he was escorted there you'll have to consider the possibility that he'll actually be afraid of you...  scared into good behavior.  I'm not sure ruling through fear is a good parenting style.

Scare tactics isn’t nice Psy.  His son will learn and grow during his time there and will work through all those issues with his therapist and eventually with his therapist and family.  If there are trust issues they will get addressed.  In fact Nigel may consider bringing this up himself to the therapist at some point down the road.  Everything gets put on the table.  Thats one of the strengths of these places.  The transition back home is one of the critical stages and a lot needs to be worked out between the parents and child to insure the child  has a safe environment to return to.  One where he feels safe to talk to the parents about anything and wont be judged for making mistakes.  The program will prepare him and the parents need to be ready to handle the childs transition back home.  But if the child returns home too early then it could all fall apart fairly quickly.  The parents need to listen to the therapist and get to know the childs staff members also and get a good feel for how their son is doing in their eyes as well.

2 months is a little premature to tell but it seems to be going very well for them.
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: My son at Aspen Ranch
« Reply #59 on: September 04, 2009, 08:57:57 PM »
Thanks for the heads-up on the who.  I searched his posts and found that all those things are things he said, but he seemsw to change his story a lot and pretend to be all different people.  I definitely wouldn't trust anything he says.  He just lies too much.
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