Is this not true? It's certainly true with me.
Certainly true for me as well. Your not alone in feeling this way, and it has been a concern of mine for a quarter century. Straight Inc aside, I am of the belief that some children, adolescants and adults are in deep need of some therapeutic help. However, what I experianced, what you experianced, what we all experianced is/was far below the level of therapeutic value.
Attending my first protest at an assembly honoring Mel Sembler several years ago, I was finally able to articulate my sentiment to an attendee of the assembly. For that I am grateful. Essentually what came from my mouth was that the abuse, under the guise of "theraphy", has far reaching ramifacations. And what further disturbed me was that the LGAT (as you termed it) was not a new design, but a design from the history books of the Korean war. Knowing the history of the detainees and the long term effects of thier treatment while captive, our experiance was not only predictable, but probable.
As the minds of destruction gathered to develop Straight Inc. there was no thought given to the long term effects of thier efforts. Comparing ourselves to kindergarden age children being watched by first graders, granted undisputed power, control....hell why not give um Jack Daniels and a M-16. There was/is a huge problem with this idea. As I started this responce, yes, I think there is a need for some people to recieve bonified assistance to lead and live a healthy, productive and peaceful lives. However, what we recieved was a Mickey Mouse, adhoc...make it up as we go along term of incarceration. An incarceration with no clear goals, no clear expectations and no clear method of achievement.
Allow me to draw an analogy; Native american men generally speaking had a board like group of elders that held councel. In these meetings issues involving the tribe, or particular nation were discussed and decions were made. Many of the Native American nations elder councels then turned thier discussion over to the elder women who would then consider the descions of the male elders and how it would effect the following seven generations. If negative consequences were predicted, the descion would be returned to the male elders for further discussion and planning. Then once again back to the female elders to consider the following 7 generations.
Here is a fundamental flaw and a primary cause of our suffering. There was no planning, or consideration for the following decades much less seven generations. But the real kick in the ass is the fact that the brainwashing techniques, the LGAT, and its long term effects were KNOWN. One cant get an idea on group/crowd control, massive mind manipulation with out reading of the long term affects of such "treatment". I dont know if it a legal issue, but it most certainly crosses a moral and ethical boundary.
Shame on Mel Sembler!
Shame on Betty Sembler!
Shame on Helen Peterman!
Shame on George Ross!
Shame of Miller Newton!
Shame on the Board of Direrctors!
Shame on those who came after me and continued the abuse!
My example of what you describe occured this past weekend at what was a family gathering. In my family there were 4 of us that went thru Straight Inc. in St. Pete and in Atlanta. A new addition to the family, a baby was being comforted by her mother (who did not go thru Straight inc.). The incident was natural, nurturing and very touching, the tenderness and care was palpable. However, the mother was signing the song, "If your happy and ya know it". I "cringed". I had to remove myself from what was an adoring mother and child. I looked at two of my cousins that did attend Straight Inc. Either they had better restraint, or they felt compelled by family obligation, they remained with the mother and child. I could see the smiles on thier faces, but I could see the internal difficulty in thier eyes. It was the big white elephant in the room thats not discussed.
Another example, my wife, my better half often mentions my "fronting" infront of my parents, and others. Interestingly enough, she says I don't "front" infront of her...Why do I "front"? Perhaps it's a desire to be socially acceptable. Perhaps it revolves around how I percieve myself, peaceful, laid back and easy going...but alas, the medical community says I have an Explosive Temper Disorder. In my mind, the term Disorder is inaccurate. To me, as I experiance it, the Explosive Temper is perfectly understandable. I have learned to "front" as my wife says. And for the most part, I am good at it....I learned alot of it during "come-downs" 30+ years ago in Straight Inc. as a way to protect myself. It worked, and it is a lesson that has stuck with me. This may benifit the public at large and those near and dear to me......yet, I alone experiance the the Explosion tween my own two ears.
How horrible! How horrible it is to have to turn away from family at a very touching moment because of a song. Because, as if instinctual, my mind sang "If your happy and ya know it, punch the bitch in the face". Dispicable! The new mother is also a new member of the family, who has no knowledge of the atrocity some of her new family has endured and I was enraged. Maybe there is some sign of change, my rage was not targeted at the new mother, she is innocent enough. But if my wife were to sing the same song....oh gawd...we have been thru that before. It is so difficult to explain to a loved one....Please, Please, Please don't sing that song! She made the mistake of singing it once more a few weeks later...I fucking exploded...I saw the fear in her eyes. I have never been so ashamed of myself and my own emotions. What could I say after that? How could I justify such wrath, when to her the song was also a "happy song" her mother sang to her, and now, surely she feels as tho she has to walk on egg shells and a perfectly normal, happy memory of hers could no longer be expressed.
I can see her eyes glaze over when I attempt to explain my memory of the song and at the mention of Straight Inc. I suspect in her mind, the "Straight Inc. explaination" no longer holds water, the boat don't float, the dog don't hunt. But my good fortune is that she appreciates the fact that I do not "front" infront of her. At any given time, she knows how I feel without question. My fortune continues knowing although I am no gem to live with, that she loves and accepts me without reservation.
Excuse my typical long winded-ness, yet I felt it nessasary to spend the time explaining my experiance so that you know what I said in the begining of this reponce was not dismissive, flippant or sarcastic. I truely meant to express to you, "that you are not alone"....Ironically enuff, that same phrase is a phrase that sets me off into a tail spin, especially if I feel it to be....dismissive, flippant or sarcastic.
We are exceptionally sensitive peoples. If no one understands us, we owe it to ourselves to understand ourselves. It is ok, if not encourage further investigation. If any are worthy of investigation, we are those most worthy of investigation, self-investigation. None have answers for us, for us the answers must come from within. Despite our tendency to shred each other (another lesson learned in Straight Inc.) our greatest asset is ourselves, our community, our history and our experiance.
I sincerly wish you:
Much Peace
Much Healing
woof
PS: If this responce seems choppy or like I was about to make a point and it dropped off the radar, my apologies. I woke at 4am and started my reponce at 4:15. If my words failed to express my understanding of your situation, again, my apologies...but it is important for you to know, yes, I do understand, and yes I experiance your experiance.
