Wow! How did you manage to get a camera into Magnolia Christian Academy?



? There's Poochie Stringfellow administering his unorthodox "Christian anti-queer vaccination" with assistance from Malik Jamal Ali Jenkins, Magnolia's sole Afro-American counselor. Poochie's theory in a nutshell: give 'em a wee taste of the most damnable aberration so the lads will produce anti-gaybodies.
This cutting edge medical procedure which protects Magnolia men from infection with the pernicious queer plague is administered utilizing a progressive method that is often misunderstood by lay people. Unsophisticated minds often mistakenly perceive the medical procedure as Poochie ass-raping myriad young bucks like Paul Lynde on a three day pass from hell.
Ted Haggard has joined Magnolia's staff in the role of Head Counselor and Rear Minister, a Spiritual guide for budding boys navigating the sticky passage to manhood when sweet confusion and strange longings threaten to overwhelm young minds. Ted recently published his memoirs,
From the Lord's Pulpit to Sucking the Devil's Dick: Is There Ass Balm in Gilead, Ye Queer Christians?