I have this reoccurring dream where I am violently killed. Usually I get shot in the head, and feel totally out of control of the situation, like I can't do anything to stop it. The weird thing is I am conscious of everything that is going on. After I get shot I can feel the warm blood pouring out on my face, and thinking about what will happen now that I'm dying. Everything goes black, and I hear this intense ringing in my ears, and then I start falling down a deep dark hole. During that time I'm just hoping my consciousness does not fade out completely, still amazed that I am "aware" of myself as an individual. It's like I'm waiting for any second when I truly die, that things will fade out to nothing.
What do you think it means? Sometimes I wonder if I am just afraid to die on some level, that my consciousness will be wiped out into oblivion. Or maybe it's that I'm afraid of going to hell, and being conscious for the whole experience? I don't really know. But I wish I didn't have to have that dream. It trips me out.
