General Interest > Tacitus' Realm
Wow, obama is going to win
Anonymous:
I attended the Family School I was never hit or slapped, but I was yanked around, dragged and shoved. I did not suffer extreme pain from that, just total humiliation.
Some things happed to me that caused lasting and extreme pain. I had painful menstrual cramps, which I HAD NEVER had before the Family School. I was made to work very hard while I had these even though I was crying. I was not allowed any medical care for these at The Family School. I was even told at one point that I did not deserve to go to the doctor. Since leaving the school these pains have gotten worse and they have found all kinds of things wrong with my ovaries and uterus. I may never be able to have kids and recent ultra sound has found sometime abnormal on the uterus. I am going in later this month for another one. They are hoping that it is not cancer.
I hardly ate any meat before the Family School and stuck to a very healthy/sometimes organic diet. At the Family School the food made me so sick to my stomach. It felt like rocks sitting inside me and I would go days with out having a bowl movement. I would sit on the toilet crying and I could not sleep at night because of the pain. I really needed some fiber in my diet. I was thin and athletic before the Family School, and I gained about 50 pounds there which was emotionally painful. It took forever to lose it. We also had to ask permission to use the bathroom. Sometimes they said "no" and I would have to wait forever to take a piss. It would put my abdomen in so much pain that I could not concentrate on my school work or in class.
I didn't have food taken away, but I had restrictions on the food towards the end of my stay. I spent about 2 months in the corner, I could not get extras and stayed hungry. I did lose a few pounds in the corner, which I was happy about. They had me in the corner because I had announced that I was going to leave on the 18th birthday, so I spent the rest of my time in the corner.
I was denied feminine hygiene and ended up having gross horrible accidents in the Family room, which I was harassed and ridiculed for. My cramps were still painful and getting worse and my periods were out of control with heavy bleeding. I slept in a bloody bed for my last few months there. They stood me up in front of the Family once and Mary Musgrove made me tell the boys about my "problems". I refused and went back to the corner.
I got very sick in the dorm and threw up every where and lost control of my bowels. My bed was a mess. My comforter was covered in nastiness, and I begged for weeks to allow me to wash my comforter. They said it would not fit in the washing machine. They also refused to have someone bring it to town to wash at a laundry mat. I only had a few months left, thank God, but I had to spend each night sleeping in a disgusting bed.
I was only allowed 2 days of rest after this illness and then had to go back to leading wait staff even though I still felt like shit. I was never kept in isolation, but was denied sleep in the dorm.
The alarm would go off when someone ran away. The alarm would go on and on and sometimes we had to go look for the run away. I lost much sleep because of this and it made school work very difficult.
It was also difficult to sleep in the dorm because the heat would not always work. Winters got very cold in the dorm, and we went several weeks without having hot water for our showers.
I also spent several weeks on a work sanction. I had to stand all day without leaning or taking a break. I could only sit down in the dorm and on the toilet. I couldn't even sit down to eat. All day I was made to carry big buckets filled with rocks. I carried them up and down the road. Sometimes a staff member would come by and put more rocks in the bucket to add more weight. My back and knees constantly ached. I have had many problems with my back and joints since I left the Family School. I have been to doctors for those problems. They said my back is filled with knots. I had some work done on it and it feels much better, but it was so painful at first. I would wake up each morning for years after leaving the Family School feeling like my back and joints had been beaten all night. I had always dreamed of being a dancer, but my back and weight have really held me back.
Thank fully I have been able to see a doctor who got me back in shape and I finally lost all my weight and am on a dance team now. My period and constipation problems stayed with me and I have to take medicine for both, as well as attend physical therapy for a few months. All of these doctor's bills do add up, as well as being time consuming. I believe that I owe my health problems to the Family School.
Also, I had gone to see an orthodonist while at The Family School. They said my wisdom teeth were growing side ways and needed to be taken out. They also a couple of my front teeth needed to be taken out because they wern't growing right. The Family School told my dad not to worry about it. Well, my teeth got really bad, and I had to wait until college to get this taken care of. I had a total of 6 teeth taken out, and now I have 3 fake teeth. I had to wear braces for 3 years. I could have had this all taken care of in high school, but no. The procedure took a lot of time, and I had to miss college and work. It was painful and another hold up in my adult life. I hated being 22 and wearing braces. I finally got them taken off 2 years ago. The Family did not want my teeth taken care of because it would take my mind of my program.
Anonymous:
My name is Andrea DiGenno. I attended the Family Foundation School from June 1998 to June 2000, during which time i witnessed my peers being abused mentally and physically and i endured the same. When i got to the family school i was heavily involved in drugs was emaciated and unable to think clearly and rationally. I was taken from my house by two bounty hunters who hand cuffed and shackled me in my pajamas and took me into their car only to drive two and a half hours away to the foothills of the Catskills to the elusive Family School.
When I arrived I was gawked at, laughed at and questioned like a war criminal. My clothes were all taken away, while I was asked if I was a whore. My lack of self esteem at the time had made me feel like they were right. My parents were told not to speak to me, signed the papers which handed over my life to these supposedly trusted people and left. I did not speak to them for at least a month. During my first few weeks there i was told i was nothing special, was nothing more than a blow up doll used and thrown away like a tissue. I was a whore and my birthmother was the same. If I wasn't careful I would finish her cycle. These verbal put downs were displayed in front of groups of girls as well as boys, men and women who were requested and encouraged to add their sentiments on the situation. These sentiments were only allowed if they were in the same vein as the leaders of these groups.
I was forced to eat food I was allergic to and had never eaten before. If food was not finished at one meal it would be finished at the next as well as the meal served at that time all while being forced to face the wall in the corner. I gained 60 pounds in five months which is by no means healthy. As my size grew my insecurity followed suit. My clothes did not fit anymore and but since they had denounced me as vain and way too into my looks, I was not allowed ANY new clothes, restricting me from being comfortable for months. Being called fat and being ashamed of my looks, I was not allowed to wear minimal makeup like the rest of the girls and all my hair was cut off. They had allowed me to keep my hair for a part in a play and cut it the day after the play was over.
At three months there I was forced to scrub human feces off planks of wood used to keep a dock in a cow pond as my sanction for standing up for myself. These are only a few of the things that happened to me.
I witnessed people being restrained by staff and students with extreme force. I witnessed staff yelling in students faces about their issues as if they were no less then petty drama made up by the students. These issues included rape, molestation, abuse, death and many other serious problems that can NOT be dealt with through intimidation.
We were told we were evil, children of the devil and our only salvation was following their rules and worshipping their gods. Religion was forced upon EVERY child and was expected to be followed.
Leaders of staff were molesting children and blaming other students for these situations. Some students were taken on outings and touched by a specific highly trusted staff member. Upon return said students blew the whistle to their parents resulting in their immediate removal from the school as not to infect the rest of the population with their propaganda. I as many other female students experienced blame for the students removal. If we werent such whores these boys would of been able to continue with their program instead of leaving.
As the years went on we realized that if we didnt become fake and participate in the abuse we would never leave. I was left back upon arrival and told i couldnt leave until i turned 18.
At 18 I tried to leave and I was put in isolation my sneakers taken and NEVER given back. They were lost I was told. So I spent the last year of my stay being snubbed and trying my hardest to achieve their standards of excellence. I participated in yelling at and restraining other students, I made speeches and participated in the schools propaganda at family days telling other parents about the success this school had afforded me. All of which were lies. I was dying inside an empty shell I was made to believe was filled by love honesty respect and unselfishness our schools motto. Things none of us had experienced while there.
The only people who loved us, namely our parents we were on a once a week speaking basis with. A privilege that depended on whether or not we did our home work everyday for 8 classes or more. We were given approximately 2-3 hours a day to finish our assignments many of which were forced advanced placement which we got no special help for. Our passing grade was raised to 85 and if our group didn’t all pass at this grade we were not allowed ANY extra food. We were also forced to run a mile every night right after dinner before we could start our homework. This cut our time down by sometimes 40 minutes as we had to wait until every last person was done, in all weather conditions. Normal treatment was celebrated.
No one was honest with us or our parents. While we lived a daily lie our parents were constantly manipulated by the school, being told we needed more help more structure more discipline and more work before we were even close to ready to come home. Leaving became an impossible task looked at as almost the Holy Grail.
There was no respect for our needs. I as well as many others were held from using bathrooms only to result in the soiling of themselves and the embarrassing nature of the circumstances.
As for being unselfish, we were forced to confine our selves to small spaces, shower for only 4 minutes in sulfur water and live in unsafe conditions. This was called being selfless by the staff and senior members around us. During winters the dorms had no heat and I myself as well as many others became very sick. With a 103 fever and bronchitis I was forced to participate in ALL daily activities including school, work and chores. Only to have my sickness relapse 3 times during the same winter. I developed asthma and was not produced an inhaler. During my stay I developed a rash and was seen by the school doctor and was told that I had developed an std. With no blood taken and no second opinion I was lead to believe this lie for over two years only to find out it was an infection from a dirty razor.
But all of the physical suffering pales in comparison to the mental anguish I have survived over the past 8 years since i have graduated. Failed relationships, jobs and leaving college all due to my lack of trust. I have been successful at helping myself through medication and therapy but do NOT under any circumstances believe that my lack there of was caused by not working their "program".
Out of my class of 40 no one is sober, and many are dead.
I am now 6 months pregnant, sober and starting my life over, the life I believe I deserved and could of had long ago. I say none of this for pity or selfish gain. I say this to STOP INSTITUTIONALIZED CHILD ABUSE.
Anonymous:
Melanie Bilcik
Reading others Testimonys about their experience at the Family Foundation brings back a lot of bad memories that I have tried to forget.
I guess I thought I was just really bad or extra sensitive and didn't think anyone was affected as I was. It brings me so much peace to know that others had endured what I had (if that makes sense).
I was at the FFS for 6 agonizing months. I honestly don't know how the people that were there for years lasted.
I always wondered how people let themselves get brainwashed in cults. It never made sense to me. I understand
now that the human mind is not always as strong as we want to believe.
I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder
and borderline personality disorder. I also had substance abuse issues as a teen. I used drugs to numb the pain I felt
because finding an appropriate medication for my illness as a teen is very hard. Doctors are not supposed to diagnose bipolar in anyone younger than 18.
My parents tried putting me in numerous rehabs and psych wards but the short term just wasn't working. I would be good for a couple months and
then revert back to my old behavior. I was also missing so much school because of my issues. I kept getting kicked out of every high school my
parents enrolled me in. My parents finally found the FFS and thought it was the perfect place for me. To this day they do not want to believe how horrible the place was and how severe it damaged me. The FFS is very good at brainwashing everyone they come in contact with.
They convinced my parents that it was not a mental illness that caused me to act the way I did, it was the music and clothes I was
interested in. My parents threw out all my clothes, tapes, CD's, posters, basically everything I owned. They bought me new clothes that didn't fit right and I was not permitted to have any of my personal possesions like my journal. My first day at the FFS was not bad. People were very nice to me and they didn't force me to eat anything I didn't want. I figured it was just like the other places I had been in, I would just be there longer. I was so wrong. On my second day they still hadn't gotten me my psychiatric meds and I was getting very ill. I kept asking for my meds and they said that my meds were not a priority and I would get them when it was convenient for them. I grew increasingly ill and was starting to have psychotic delusions but no one seemed to care. They would not let me call my parents to let them know what was happening. Had my parents known they were withdrawing my meds, my parents would have thrown a fit. Eventually they got me meds, but would not give them to me as prescribed. I was anything but mentally stable. Two of the side effects of my meds was they made me gain weight and very tired. I was put on a trotting sanction(you have to jog everywhere and jog in place when you are standing)and
brought up in front of the family and humilated by everyone. I had 20 kids and 5 staff call me lazy and fat and told I would never find a man to
love me because I was so disgusting. I started having nightmares because I was brought up in front of everyone to be more and more and humilated.
They would keep telling me I wasn't being honest about certain things, when I was. I was trying so hard and doing every thing they said so
the verbal abuse would stop but it only got worse. You are not allowed to touch or look at the opposite sex but at dinner the seating was
boy girl boy girl, and they put the seats so close together its almost impossible not to brush up against the person sitting next to you once
and a while. The boys would tell staff I was touching them and that I creeped them out. I learned to not make eye contact with anyone and I was
terrified to look at anyone for fear they would say I was staring. I walked with my head down all the time.
Due to my nightmares and medication I was falling asleep in church(chapel was twice a day, once in the morning and once at night) and also in class.
A group of girls and staff did an intervention with me and accused me of staying up all night masterbating because one girl heard me tossing and turning.
I was yelled at and told that they will always know when I masterbated because lust causes fatigue and if I was tired it meant I was masterbating all night. I denied it because it wasn't true but no one would talk to me and I was always yelled at for everything. I had to run around the building 2 times every
morning and put on a work sanction to "wake me up". I eventually admitted to having a 'severe masterbatian' problem just so people would talk
to me. I was also assigned a junior sponser who was a tyrant. She followed me everywhere, constantly yelled at me and brought me up in front
of the family and made up things just to humiliate me. Noting I did was ever good enough and I felt like I would never leave. My phone calls
and mail were monitored so I couldn't tell my parents what was happening. I was forced to eat what made me sick as was everyone else.
I remember this one girl was a vegitarian when she came in and refused to eat meat. They made her sit in a corner until she ate her meal.
She didn't eat anything for two days and when she finally gave in they made her eat the meat she refused two days ago. You had to eat everything on your plate, even if you were full. If you didn't you were put in the infamous corner. I was in the corner so many times I cant remember. You had to sit the corner, look down and couldnt talk to anyone. They also made me miss school to sit in
the corner all day. I missed more school in the FFS than when I was on home schooling. My education level did not improve
and I was failing classes. In FFS you had to get a B to pass. I was getting more and more frustrated and whenever I showed the slightest sign of anger or depression I was rolled in a blanket and duct tape and thrown in the janitor closet alone for hours, one time a whole day. I couldn't use the rest room and was forced to urinate myself. When they saw what I had done they called me a disgusting pig and threw me in a scalding hot shower with my clothes on and threw insults at me. The abuse was getting so bad that I was suicidal and started wetting my bed. I wasn't getting better at the FFS I was getting worse. I was forced to tell my parents how happy I was there.
I ran away once and made it back to NYC. I took a bag of clothes with me and hitch hiked my way into town. I found a guy to
buy me a ticket to NJ (where I'm from. I had to switch buses in NYC and I lost all my street smarts. I was used to being in a cult
family like setting that I smiled at everyone and almost expected everyone to be safe. I was almost kidnapped by a guy who tried
to grab me but I got away. When I made it back home my mom drove me right back upstate. They didn't believe anything I told them and thought I was making it up. I tried to run away again about a month later. I was caught. Because I was 18 they were going to let
me go but I was not allowed to take anything with me but the clothes on my back. They said that everything I had belonged to my
parents and my parents wanted me at the FFS so I could not take anything because that would be stealing. I packed a bag anyway and Bob Runge grabbed, hit and wrestled me to the ground with two girls from my family. I was so mad that I broke his glasses which
I eventually had to pay for. I once again made it back home and was sent back.
My mental health was getting worse and I was developing severe stress disorder. One day I flipped out at the family and went to run
out the back door. A bunch of girls followed me and tackled me to the ground. I blacked out and started choking my junior sponser
. A staff had to smother me and make me pass out to make me stop. I didn't realize what I was doing, I was just doing it. They sent a psychiatrist to evaluate me and I lied and said I thought about killing her all the time and was doing it on purpose so they would send me out. I got my way and was sent to a psych ward. My parents were going to send me back but thankfully the FFS wouldn't take me back.
Upon leaving I developed severe anxiety disorder and didn't know how to socialize with others. I develpoed insominia and to this day I suffer
with nightmares and am terrified in social situations. My accounts may seem scattered but thats how my memories are. There is a lot I have
not mentioned because I do not want to make this a novel. I want to thank you for giving me the chance to tell my story to people who believe
me. Up until now no one has believed me. I was almost sent to Elan in Maine after but thankfully they would not let anyone on meds be
admitted and my parents would not allow that.
In another testimony someone mentioned that people do not succeed BECAUSE of the family school but IN SPITE of and that is so true. I am still in therapy and have moved to AZ, I graduated from college and now work with homeless youth.
Anonymous:
Daniel Merrill
I was seventeen when my parents made the decision to enroll me in TheFamily School in Hancock, NY. The next 26 months of my life were an
experience in survival.
At the school, I was stripped of my identity as soon as I
arrived. Most of life was stuffed full of activity. The 11 hour school
day and lack of any personal space or time is not important though. What is important is the absolute brainwashing, constant antagonizing, and harsh punishment methods.
I had to repeat my junior and some of my sophomore year when I
arrived at the school. This was due to improper paperwork, and a lack of care for transcripts.
For more than fourty thousand dollars a year, i had hoped to enroll where i had left in school. Instead, i was placed back in
earth science, where i wasted my time for a full year. I had aced the
midterm which was taken straight out of the regents final exam, and i was still not reevaluated or allowed to audit the course.
Every mealtime was a terror. In my "Family unit" we had
discussions at the table called "table topics". these topics involved
bringing concerns, real or imagined, to the attention of myself or one of my peers. The leader of my family was a self admitted sex addict, and every problem with a student was tainted by that.
These topics involved high levels of mental and emotional abuse designed to break down the psyche of the student involved. If this student did not say what the staff members wanted, they would be given a consequence; sitting or standing in the corner, being pulled out of class to do useless physical labor, alternative food(a single packet of cram of wheat for breakfast, or a single soy burger for lunch or dinner), denial of contact with parents, and many more punishments which were socially and emotionally damaging. Only a few members were educated in child care or any kind of therapy, and they seldom were involved in these table topics.
I was taken out of school in 2004 for more than 5 months, forced
to stand in the corner, trot while standing, eating 3 alternative meals
even though i am diabetic, and doing physical labor for 11 hours per day.
This labor included carring buckets full of rocks up a steep hill, labor in the kitchen and groundskeeping tasks. At one point in the winter, i was forced to stand in an outside hallway in the New York winter, when temperatures did not exceed 45 degrees inside even during the day.
My experience was certainly not the hardest which i have seen. Studentswere sometimes kept at the school for up to five years, and submitted tothe same amount of hardship. I saw one student commit suicide. Also, one winter I witnessed a restraint in the snow involving 3 large staff members,at least one of whom was sitting on the fourteen year old student.
In the time since I left the school I have experienced an incredible
amount of difficulty in rebuilding my identity and my ability to relate
to peers. I hope that this bill will help other children be protected from the hell which many of us have survived.
Anonymous:
I arrived to the Family Foundation School Inc. on January 7th 2003 and was expelled on May 5th 2004; I would like to enter this testimony to this case: A big problem with the school is the sexual issue. The school approaches human sexuality on a strictly Catholic perspective of sexuality is immoral and sexual urges of unwed teens are inappropriate and shameful.
The school's entire basis of expelling me was for not admitting to my rampant masturbation, something which did not exist due to my lack of homosexual urges and knowing that less than 4 feet away from me in any direction was another guy wasn’t exactly arousing.
A memorable experience was when two staff members confronted me on this very issue and when I denied that I was acting out sexually, one of them suggested that anyone in my situation would need some sort of release, at the time I was very heavy into prayer and meditation because I did not want to act out violently, and my retort was that my release was in prayer and meditation to which the staff member suggested that I by saying this I was somehow massaging his prostate (in cruder words of course). Verbal abuse was one of many ways the family school operates, which is sad but is not an isolated evil.
The family school advertises itself as a secular environment that promotes each individual religion. However, one should note the blatant disregard for dietary laws upheld by Islam and Judaism, and beyond sacrilege the family school was derisive towards these rules. A specific example of Passover comes to mind. Jewish people are not supposed to eat leavened food during Passover. Year round Jewish people are not supposed to eat pork, meat and dairy or seafood. The family school insisted that all of their students eat all the food placed in front of them, so during Passover when the rest of the students were having bacon lettuce and tomato, the Jewish kids had that too, on matzo. When the other kids were having Philly cheese steaks, the Jewish kids had that too, on matzo.
Next I would like to address the issue of labeling. The Family School loved to label their students with addictions and maledictions, they took great delight in informing me, 6'2 175 LBS at the time that I am a food addict and that I am obsessed with food and I use food as an escape. Moreover, I (according to them) was a sexual pervert who compulsively masturbated and I would inevitably wind up jailed, institutionalized or dead if I did not manage to graduate their program. The school didn't offer much for the imagination, there was very little encouragement for students to pursue their own wants or goals but rather goals were set by the school and if one did not choose to pursue those goals they risked punishment or a lengthier stay. These goals and expectations could be as simple as participating in an activities or extra curricular activities or as intense as committing to not date for at least 6 months after leaving etc.
Staff members were openly verbally abusive and derisive to students, there were incidents where staff members were physically abusive but that wasn’t really prevalent the main form of abuse that I felt was the most sinister was food depravation. It is understandable to not feed someone who is actively being violent or physically acting out but if someone is physically cooperating to any extent they should not be deprived of food for long term period and kids who go there are customarily. The school is set up in a way where kids are forced to be paranoid their entire stay; because at any given moment what little dignity you are granted in life can be stripped away from you. At the school reality and truth is not dictated by reality and truth but rather by the whimsical perceptions of the staff members who take on a holier than thou role.
After leaving the school I had no contact with them. Several times I reached out to the administration and several times I had my hand slapped away. At one point per a conversation I had with an alumnus in which I made a joking reference to bringing a Swiss army knife to the alumni reunion in the event of any shenanigans as a device of self defense, the administration sent police officers to my home to inform me that if I showed up at the reunion I would be arrested. As far as success rates, indeed in order to leave the school one needs some sort of college plan but that doesn't mean that anyone who leaves is prepared for college. The school doesn't allow organic growth and therefore causes the students to be completely incapable of studying without a strict framework, hence the vast majority wind up failing miserably in college life. Also no reasonable framework is setup for the students to have a support network at the school, students are sent off into a cold cruel world with dead ideals involving principles that weren't upheld by those who enforced them upon them and as a result the rate of failure is staggering, rather than making recovery appealing to the students in the school recovery is made abhorrent a "do this or else" scenario is set up and so any success attained while in the school is just that, success attained in the school, and any success outside of the school is a fluke not a given.
I am a perfect example of a fluke. I was expelled for not working the program prescribed to me by the school (supposedly). I was informed quite assuredly by the principal that I would be dropped off in Binghamton and that I wouldn't last a very long time. When I finally failed I would be accepted back as I had hit bottom.
I arrived in Binghamton and immediately continued where I had left off in the school, doing everything I could to replicate the life I had envisioned in the school using religion and recovery as my backbone. I found solace in a 12 step program and found myself a home group and a sponsor, my sponsor to this day makes efforts to break me of emotional damage inflicted by the school.
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