Author Topic: StrugglingTeens changes their tune  (Read 11330 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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Re: StrugglingTeens changes their tune
« Reply #45 on: February 15, 2008, 08:08:57 PM »
Your statement that "Most of what you stated the schools do.. many schools allow the kids to call home unmonitored.. many schools ask for the children to be tested prior to acceptance.. etc… some schools don’t accept kids who are transported by escorts…  yes the schools would operate fine within these parameters" is dishonest.  There may be schools that ask for testing and some may  allow some unmonitored calls and some that do not accept children who are "escorted."  But the overwhelming number of facilities do not do most of what is on the list and you can't name five that do seven of them and you can't explain why any of them are unacceptable. And most of the facilities do none of them.

With respect to your generality about most kids getting through adolescence ok but some needhelp the devil is in the details and there is no method for culling out which adolescents are in which category and if a unregulated facility that observes none of the principles that you found reasonable convinces a scared parent that there kid is in your latter category he gets shipped off.

Your statement about parents don't send kids unless they are desperate and that sending kids away is the brave thing to do is also a generality that ignores the truth about what is happening out there.  The facilities you love are filling upwith kids that go from one facility to another from the agre of 13 to 18 because there parents do not want them home, convince themselves it is about the kid but it is really about something else or parents that just gotterrible advice from folks like you who speak in generalities, steal therapeutic language and ignore everything that science had taught us about adolescence. 
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Offline TheWho

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Re: StrugglingTeens changes their tune
« Reply #46 on: February 15, 2008, 08:13:03 PM »
Quote from: "Froderik"
Same ol' back and forth.... you make some good points, though (make it simple).

Don't you ever get tired of this, Who?
No, I guess I dont... I should, though, after all these years.  This is always a good topic and if we can accomplish just keeping one child out of an abusive facility or educate a new parent it is worth the time (for me).


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Offline psy

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« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Benchmark Young Adult School - bad place [archive.org link]
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Offline psy

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Re: StrugglingTeens changes their tune
« Reply #48 on: February 15, 2008, 08:26:30 PM »
Quote from: "stoodoodog"
I recall referring to PV as a "boot camp" only to be corrected by an irate pro PV parent.
"PV is NOT a boot camp!!!! Nuff said" (direct quote)
Same parent referred to PV as a "therapeutic boarding school :ftard:", but I still can't ascertain exactly WHAT PV is.

They'll never change.  The'll just call it something different.  No news here.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Benchmark Young Adult School - bad place [archive.org link]
Sue Scheff Truth - Blog on Sue Scheff
"Our services are free; we do not make a profit. Parents of troubled teens ourselves, PURE strives to create a safe haven of truth and reality." - Sue Scheff - August 13th, 2007 (fukkin surreal)

Offline TheWho

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Re: StrugglingTeens changes their tune
« Reply #49 on: February 15, 2008, 08:46:26 PM »
Quote from: "make it simple"
Your statement that "Most of what you stated the schools do.. many schools allow the kids to call home unmonitored.. many schools ask for the children to be tested prior to acceptance.. etc… some schools don’t accept kids who are transported by escorts…  yes the schools would operate fine within these parameters" is dishonest.  There may be schools that ask for testing and some may  allow some unmonitored calls and some that do not accept children who are "escorted."  But the overwhelming number of facilities do not do most of what is on the list and you can't name five that do seven of them and you can't explain why any of them are unacceptable. And most of the facilities do none of them.

You may think it is the majority or the minority but it would be reckless to shut down the entire industry when children are being helped


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With respect to your generality about most kids getting through adolescence ok but some needhelp the devil is in the details and there is no method for culling out which adolescents are in which category and if a unregulated facility that observes none of the principles that you found reasonable convinces a scared parent that there kid is in your latter category he gets shipped off.

Sure you are talking about the minority again.  There will be parents that are scared because their kids smokes pot and then ship them off.  There are parents who have kids that place their entire family at risk and the parents decide to do nothing about it and eventually affects the siblings… should these parents be brought up on charges for not seeking help for their child.. many would think they should. 
We should focus on getting the more ineffective and abusive facilities exposed and regulated (if that is what it takes).  But lets not pull the plug because there are a few corrupt used car salesmen out there.

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Your statement about parents don't send kids unless they are desperate and that sending kids away is the brave thing to do is also a generality that ignores the truth about what is happening out there.

I didn’t mention desparate nor generalize.  There are families that have kids that are at risk.  There are people out there who put pressure on parents to do nothing.. they tell the parents the kids will grow out of it and get past it.  Thousands of these kids take their lives everyyear and they are kids who didn’t get the help they needed or the warning signs were ignored due to bad advice.

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The facilities you love are filling upwith kids that go from one facility to another from the agre of 13 to 18 because there parents do not want them home,

For a person who doesn’t like to generalize this is a fairly general statement.  I am not in love with any facilities and the parents that I know didn’t shuffle their kids around from one facility to the next.  They had a plan which they felt would help their child and followed it thru.   All the parents wanted their children home as soon as possible (what type of parent would not?), I don’t think I have ever meet a parent who didn’t want their own child to be home with them.

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… convince themselves it is about the kid but it is really about something else or parents that just gotterrible advice from folks like you who speak in generalities, steal therapeutic language and ignore everything that science had taught us about adolescence.
The mere definition of a parent speaks to this as a priority… we need to be focusing on the parents who need guidance in recognizing that there is help available for their children and that we don’t have to let them continue.  Debating on whether a parent cares about their own children is a non issue in my opinion.



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Offline Anonymous

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Re: StrugglingTeens changes their tune
« Reply #50 on: February 15, 2008, 09:27:47 PM »
You are doing exactly what you keep accusing the young people who have been through these programs of doing.  They speak of all kids who have been through these programs as if they are like them. You speak of all parents as if they are just like you would like to think you are. You are making it up.  Do you have statistics about the percentage of kids that are sent away whose parents have been through divorces and most often angry ones? I think the statistics would be humiliating for the industry. Don't you?
I offered ten fundamental principles that you called reasonable.  Then you said that some programs do some of them.  Why shouldn't they all do all of them?  most of them?  What programs do most of them? half of them?  I asked you for five that do seven of them.  You changed the subject.  How about five programs that do five of them.  How about three programs that do seven of them?  Why shouldn't natsap require them?  Be specific. 
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Offline TheWho

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Re: StrugglingTeens changes their tune
« Reply #51 on: February 15, 2008, 09:53:14 PM »
Quote from: "make it simple"
You are doing exactly what you keep accusing the young people who have been through these programs of doing.  They speak of all kids who have been through these programs as if they are like them. You speak of all parents as if they are just like you would like to think you are. You are making it up.
So based on your logic if I am making it up then all the kids posting here are also.  I don’t think this will be a popular conclusion... I am speaking from a position of knowledge both first hand and second hand.

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Do you have statistics about the percentage of kids that are sent away whose parents have been through divorces and most often angry ones? I think the statistics would be humiliating for the industry. Don't you?
No, I don’t have those numbers .. I, for one, wish there was more data available so we caould see these correlations.

Quote
I offered ten fundamental principles that you called reasonable.  Then you said that some programs do some of them.  Why shouldn't they all do all of them?  most of them?  What programs do most of them? half of them?  I asked you for five that do seven of them.  You changed the subject.  How about five programs that do five of them.  How about three programs that do seven of them?  Why shouldn't natsap require them?  Be specific.   

I really don’t have the answers to your questions.  You are one person.. if you asked 10 people you may get ten different lists of principles ( I have my own) and I am sure the schools couldn’t appease us all.  Your list was reasonable but just because the schools don’t follow your list to the letter doesn’t make them wrong.  They have their own way of doing things and they get feed back from many parents with many different opinions.


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Offline Anonymous

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Re: StrugglingTeens changes their tune
« Reply #52 on: February 15, 2008, 10:28:17 PM »
sorry Who- your failure to name facilities that follow the principles I set  forth or explain why they don't follow them speaks volumes.  Initially you said that a lot of facilities follow them. You have now retreated.  How come?  The facilities you support do not operate in a manner that is consistent with the principles on the list because if they did they would not exist.  It is also nonsense to say that anyone could make a list.  Of course they could but the list I made would require the schools to operate transparently and follow legally required educational policies and the standard of care for the conditions they purport to treat.  The list goes to the heart of the facilities marketing, the conning of parents and the abuse of kids. If you made a similarly specific list they would not abide by it either.  
I am not interested in discussions of who is offended or not by what I write.  I am interested only in having you explain why the facilities you espouse don't publish meaningful statistics, do use psychiatric language but ignore standard practices, routinely have "therapy" provided by uncertified individuals, have lengthy black out periods without involving mental health professional in the black out decisions, routinely accept adolescents into treatment over the objection of non custodial parents.  If you want to go through the items on the list one at a time I would be gald to explain why the facilities do not and will not abide by the standards i set forth but I think you already know that.
  One more question.   You keep talking about your concern for kids.  What do you do to protect kids and their families from what you consider to be the bad facilities?   You know which ones they are. Don't you think it would be a better use of your time to work at closing those facilities then trying so hard to influence the discussion here?  And wouldn't convincing the facilities you respect, but that you refuse to identify, to adopt the ten reasonable principles be something important that you ought devote some time to.  I guess not.  
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline TheWho

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Re: StrugglingTeens changes their tune
« Reply #53 on: February 16, 2008, 10:32:47 AM »
Quote from: "make it simple"
sorry Who- your failure to name facilities that follow the principles I set  forth or explain why they don't follow them speaks volumes.  Initially you said that a lot of facilities follow them. You have now retreated.  How come? 

Show me where I said that.

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The facilities you support do not operate in a manner that is consistent with the principles on the list because if they did they would not exist.

Of course they don’t, they work to their own list.. why should they listen to you?  When did you consult them and ask them to follow your list?  The facilities would work fine abiding by your list.

 
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It is also nonsense to say that anyone could make a list.  Of course they could but the list I made would require the schools to operate transparently and follow legally required educational policies and the standard of care for the conditions they purport to treat. 

Why don’t you back up what you say then.. for example where does it say the child should be able to make their initial phone call within a minimum of 2 weeks?  Some schools may do 4 weeks… what do you base your 2 weeks on?

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The list goes to the heart of the facilities marketing, the conning of parents and the abuse of kids. If you made a similarly specific list they would not abide by it either.

Exactly my point, you could ask 10 different people to make a list and you would get 10 different lists… which one would be right?  Which one should the schools follow?  If you were starting a TBS would you call some teenager who has no education in the field to make a list for them to follow?  Of course not.  If you didn’t follow everyone’s list would they have right to call you a con artist and say that you abuse kids?
   
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I am not interested in discussions of who is offended or not by what I write.  I am interested only in having you explain why the facilities you espouse don't publish meaningful statistics, do use psychiatric language but ignore standard practices, routinely have "therapy" provided by uncertified individuals, have lengthy black out periods without involving mental health professional in the black out decisions, routinely accept adolescents into treatment over the objection of non custodial parents.  If you want to go through the items on the list one at a time I would be gald to explain why the facilities do not and will not abide by the standards i set forth but I think you already know that.

If the schools are not meeting standards set down by the laws in their state then they should be exposed in these areas and corrected.  If you are going to state that kids should have initial contact within 2 weeks I need to understand where you get these requirements from?  If they need to publish specific types of statistics then lets take a look at what is required.  Some schools are more data driven than others and publish statistics.  Some schools don’t publish statistics at all.

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One more question.   You keep talking about your concern for kids.  What do you do to protect kids and their families from what you consider to be the bad facilities?

If a parent contacts me I try to lead them away from the more abusive facilities and/or have them read specific threads I have earmarked here on fornits for them.

 
Quote
You know which ones they are. Don't you think it would be a better use of your time to work at closing those facilities then trying so hard to influence the discussion here?  And wouldn't convincing the facilities you respect, but that you refuse to identify, to adopt the ten reasonable principles be something important that you ought devote some time to.  I guess not. 

No, shutting facilities down does not work.. they will gather themselves up and open up shop someplace else.  What we need to do is strengthen the ones that are good and the bad ones will go out of business.  You need to beat them on a business level. 

Your 10 principles you came up with are fine, MIS, and I agree with most of them… many schools run along the same lines that you propose but they all go by a different list…. Every school is different.  If every school adopted your list it still wouldn’t solve all the issues that schools face today… the schools need to become more specialized in the types of kids they accept so that they can focus more closely on the individual childs needs.  Accepting children who are violent and placing them in the same environment with kids who are working on issues which are the result of violence in their past is not a good idea, in my opinion, and schools have recognized this and are moving to become more selective in their acceptance criteria.

Another item which was not on your list is a minimum requirement for the educational levels for the staff that are interfacing with the children.  I think this would be a needed addition to the list also.

These are the areas that we need to be working on.  If some of the better schools keep raising the standards and increasing their success rates then the rest of the industry will need to keep up or they will go out of business.  Government regulation isn’t going to do crap in protecting the kids, in my opinion.



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Offline Anonymous

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Re: StrugglingTeens changes their tune
« Reply #54 on: February 16, 2008, 11:44:53 AM »
I'm so glad I no longer feel obligated to reply to that pile of meaningless shit.

Simple, you can either continue the yammering session with this idiot or you can spend your time writing letters to congressmen and joining the YLF.
Just because his arguments are completely devoid of merit doesn't stop him from keeping on going. We proved that last year. Quit wasting your time and go talk to people who matter.
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Offline ZenAgent

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Re: StrugglingTeens changes their tune
« Reply #55 on: February 16, 2008, 12:19:29 PM »
Ignore him.  He's insulting, arrogant, and heavily into the "group think" of the industry.  He's an example of how low the industry will go to keep itself afloat.  For all his denial of any connections to StrugglingTeens, he's a big part of what they do.  I wouldn't be surprised if he's one of the regular posters on the forum.  Of course, I can't read their forums, or post - they can't deal with any opinion that goes against industry "group think".

Neither can the spew.  He squeals, he oinks...I don't know why he gravitated to this thread so quickly, except to defend Lon Woodbury.  Maybe he is Lon.  The only thing we know conclusively about spew is that he's a liar.

Don't encourage the parasite, use the ignore button.  You can see that he's polluting, but you don't have to read the crap.
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\"Allah does not love the public utterance of hurtful speech, unless it be by one to whom injustice has been done; and Allah is Hearing, Knowing\" - The Qur\'an

_______________________________________________
A PV counselor\'s description of his job:

\"I\'m there to handle kids that are psychotic, suicidal, homicidal, or have commited felonies. Oh yeah, I am also there to take them down when they are rowdy so the nurse can give them the booty juice.\"

Offline Anonymous

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Re: StrugglingTeens changes their tune
« Reply #56 on: February 16, 2008, 12:46:55 PM »
So lets be clear who

   You do nothing affirmitive to expose or close schools that you think are abusive despite your involvement in this field.  If noone calls you then you sit back and let kids be abused at facilities you know are abusive.  If people like you do nothing who do you think should-

   You can't name any facility that follows any of the guidelines I suggested.

   Can you at least name a few facilities that have an equivalent set of guidelines that are specific and not just platitudes?  I didn't think so.

    Even if you can't name the facility can you at least provide a set of guidelines followed by any facility that is equivalent to what I offered. You can't do that either.

   All right - how about if you provide a specific list of ten items that are not generalities that would make facilities more transparent?   

   People on this site get frustrated with you.  I do not.  I just will keep asking you for specifics. 

 
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Offline ZenAgent

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Re: StrugglingTeens changes their tune
« Reply #57 on: February 16, 2008, 01:07:55 PM »
Quote from: "make it simple"
So lets be clear who

   You do nothing affirmitive to expose or close schools that you think are abusive despite your involvement in this field.  If noone calls you then you sit back and let kids be abused at facilities you know are abusive.  If people like you do nothing who do you think should-

   You can't name any facility that follows any of the guidelines I suggested.

   Can you at least name a few facilities that have an equivalent set of guidelines that are specific and not just platitudes?  I didn't think so.

    Even if you can't name the facility can you at least provide a set of guidelines followed by any facility that is equivalent to what I offered. You can't do that either.

   All right - how about if you provide a specific list of ten items that are not generalities that would make facilities more transparent?   

   People on this site get frustrated with you.  I do not.  I just will keep asking you for specifics. 

   

Excellent.  If you can avoid being frustrated and stick questions like that to him, you might frustrate him.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
\"Allah does not love the public utterance of hurtful speech, unless it be by one to whom injustice has been done; and Allah is Hearing, Knowing\" - The Qur\'an

_______________________________________________
A PV counselor\'s description of his job:

\"I\'m there to handle kids that are psychotic, suicidal, homicidal, or have commited felonies. Oh yeah, I am also there to take them down when they are rowdy so the nurse can give them the booty juice.\"

Offline TheWho

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Re: StrugglingTeens changes their tune
« Reply #58 on: February 16, 2008, 02:06:00 PM »
Quote from: "make it simple"
  You do nothing affirmitive to expose or close schools that you think are abusive despite your involvement in this field.  If noone calls you then you sit back and let kids be abused at facilities you know are abusive.  If people like you do nothing who do you think should-

If you want to criticize others that is okay.  But I feel I make a positive contribution

 
Quote
You can't name any facility that follows any of the guidelines I suggested.

No I cant… that doesn’t mean that they dont exist.

Quote
   Can you at least name a few facilities that have an equivalent set of guidelines that are specific and not just platitudes?  I didn't think so.

Guess you already have that answer.

 
Quote
  Even if you can't name the facility can you at least provide a set of guidelines followed by any facility that is equivalent to what I offered. You can't do that either.

Seems you already anticipated what my answer would be.

 
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All right - how about if you provide a specific list of ten items that are not generalities that would make facilities more transparent?   

I think your list is a good start…
I would add the 2 items I listed above and would also like to see more statistics.  I would like to see the schools involve the family members in their model as a way to bring the family closer together during the childs healing process.  Schools should be more selective with the children they accept to insure a better success rate.  The use of restraints should be clearly defined and used according to state guidelines.  The parents should be informed of all phases of the model used and types of punishments imposed.

 
Quote
People on this site get frustrated with you.  I do not.  I just will keep asking you for specifics. 

That is good, it shows you still have an open mind.  The reason many are frustrated with me is because they have already made their minds up about the entire industry and don’t want to hear anything outside of their belief system.  I have always had a hard time with group hatred.  People who are drawn to group hatred do so because it is simple and there are very few rules to follow.. like hating all blacks or Jews… hating all schools and staff members..hating all program parents.  Discussing the possibility that there are staff people that are good and are there to help the kids would force them to challenge the group position or think for themselves.. the same with the idea that many kids benefit from the teen help industry.  If they admitted to themselves that even one child benefited from their stay at a TBS would open the door to the possibility that many kids could do well also.. you see what I mean?  So they try different ways to silence, isolate or discredit the person asking the questions or pursuing open discussion.

I wish you had a log in name …I would be curious to see how long you last before you join the others and start rejecting new ideas and free thinking.  I have watched so many people start out being open minded only to be criticized by the group and then slowly being drawn into the group here.  I hope this doesn’t come across as being critical because I am not..... I do understand that people feel safer when they are with a group…… but just try this as you speak to others here on fornits.. ask them if they believe there are kids that benefit from attending a TBS or if there are any good TBS’s out there… if they say every school is corrupt  and every child was abused (or not helped) then you will know they are a regular fornits group member.
Wow I guess I am rambling again.. sorry



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« Last Edit: February 16, 2008, 02:17:20 PM by TheWho »

Offline Anonymous

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Re: StrugglingTeens changes their tune
« Reply #59 on: February 16, 2008, 04:49:51 PM »
Dear who
Lets be clear.  I have no concern about being criticized by the group or anyone who posts here. I am not nearly that insecure.
And I have no interest in your comments about my having an open mind.  I really do not have an open mind about this at all anymore then you do except that if you would point me to a facility that treats conditions that I can understand with methods that are describable in clear terms and that makes available information about their success rate (that is other then testimonials from a few satisfied parents) I would be happy to consider the efficacy of that facility. Until then I am pretty comfortable with my firmly held belief that the industry that you espouse does not stand for anything and has a floating set of principles that is based on very little of value.

So lets get back to specifics because now that we have established that neither the industry you defend or you can provide a set of basic standards I must ask the next logical question.  What are its guiding principles?  What are the common denominators? Is there an industry organization that publishes anything that will give me what I am asking for?

The reality who is that you have frustrated people on this site because they often speak in absolutes and you respond with a little of this and a little of that and come across sounding reasonable.  I am not interested in how you sound.  You advocate for an industry that useslanguage artfully to cover up the absence of a scientific or studied basis for its claims and often hurts kids and families as a result.  I am interested in specifics. 

And in regard to your request that I identify myself I would be glad to provide all the details you want including my name and connection to these issues if you will do the same.
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