Author Topic: Feeling lost after finding my life after AARC  (Read 2629 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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Feeling lost after finding my life after AARC
« on: April 25, 2003, 01:14:00 PM »
Hi an ex AARC freind told me about this forum. I'm not fully angry at aarc. I think they taught me some good things. But now that my life has moved on and in a different direction I am starting to feel like I don't know how to function as a normal human. I over analize things, get over emotional. Have an overwhelming sence of guilt. I am just all in all lost and confused.

I spent a long time thinking I'm the way they said I am, sorounding my life with them and when I realized the truth my life just sort of shatered. Now I feel alone.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline girl stuff

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Feeling lost after finding my life after AARC
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2003, 03:16:00 PM »
It is a very hard thing come to terms with. You are not alone. :smile:
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Offline Hamiltonf

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Feeling lost after finding my life after AARC
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2003, 05:23:00 PM »
Quote
On 2003-04-25 10:14:00, Anonymous wrote:

"

 Hi an ex AARC freind told me about this forum. I'm not fully angry at aarc. I think they taught me some good things. But now that my life has moved on and in a different direction I am starting to feel like I don't know how to function as a normal human. I over analize things, get over emotional. Have an overwhelming sence of guilt. I am just all in all lost and confused.



I spent a long time thinking I'm the way they said I am, sorounding my life with them and when I realized the truth my life just sort of shatered. Now I feel alone."


AARC isn't the only "treatment" Centre in Alberta.    
I recently met with a survivor of an institution somewhat like AARC in Edmonton.  She was confined for a year and medicated since she was 11 years old, and repeatedly until she was 17.  When the "treatment" didn't work, she was returned to mother as they couldn't do anything with her!  Now, 10 years later, she continues to struggle.  Like you she is saying "I feel like I don't know how to function as a normal human."  I have no doubt that  like you, she can say "I am just all in all lost and confused."  
Currently, she stands to lose her three children to social services because of allegations of drug abuse (mainly because of alleged overuse of prescription meds that they got her hooked on to start off with.  
Anyway, if you are interested in talking to me privately, I suggest you get an alias and send me a private e-mail, and I can introduce myself to you and we can talk privately.  I am a lawyer, currently investigating AARC
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Antigen

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Feeling lost after finding my life after AARC
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2003, 06:17:00 PM »
I think I know what you're talking about. I didn't graduate from Straight, but split. It wasn't a clean get-away, but a protracted court battle where I got tossed from detention to time-out house, back to a brother's home and then, finally, back to my mother's home after turning 18.

That last stop lasted about 4 days before, on the very first pretense, I found myself in the intake room at the LIFE program for about two hours till I got what I wanted, the ultimatum. So all I had to do was walk out the door and, this time, she wouldn't try to follow me.

At that point, I ran out of resistance. There wasn't a fight or challenge thrown in front of me. Working and paying 1/3 of the rent on a small apartment was like falling off a log and I didn't know what else to do to fill up my life. It was frightening. The good news is that life has a way of filling itself up. Most other people are not really what you'd call normal either. They're just pretty good at acting normal and keeping their private thoughts and such private. You might have to brush up on that one. I did.

The bad news is that almost everyone I know has a family of origin who they can trust. I don't have that and never will. There was and is no normal for me to get back to, no where to snap to when I snapped out of it. That sucks, but it could be far worse. We could have been born in Bosnia or something, right? So count your blessings too.

But this is far from demonstrating that the authorities must interpose to suppress these vices by commercial prohibitions, nor is it by any means evident that such intervention on the part of the government is really capable of suppressing them or that, even if this end could be attained, it might not therewith open up a Pandora's box of other dangers, no less mischievous than alcoholism and morphinism.
http://www.mises.org/liberal/ch1sec11.asp' target='_new'>Ludwig Von Mises

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Offline velvet2000

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Feeling lost after finding my life after AARC
« Reply #4 on: April 26, 2003, 01:01:00 AM »
After I left AARC I remember thinking that in order to be "healthy" I had to get all worked up and then "spill" something all the time. Blowing things out of proportion and being over emotional was normal. You can't spend years, or months, or however long you were in AARC focused purely on emotion and nothing else and come out balanced.

Socializing and being confident was really hard. It's easy to have false confidence in AARC when you learn what everyone wants of you and you are suddenly love bombed. On the outside world you are out of place and you have to be yourself, and that's a lot harder to accomplish. Especially when you try to hug everyone and talk in lingo that nobody else gets, and certainly doesn't think that you are "healthy" at all.

I know that it's a Straight/AARC-like thing to say "We had it easy compared to the _____ program". But in all sincerity I look at the Elan School board and think *whew* glad I wasn't there!
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Offline Anonymous

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Feeling lost after finding my life after AARC
« Reply #5 on: October 21, 2007, 12:52:22 PM »
From what I have read, it seems that people start to de-program themselves spontaneously about 18 months after leaving a cult. I can completely understand how ex-aarc clients would have a hard time coming to grips with functioning in the real world after finding success navigating the aarc world.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »