Changes at Pathway?

[Anonymous]

http://www.hometownlife.com/news/TheDai ... uaries.htm

[Anonymous]

suicide is not a symptom of drug use

it is a symptom of severe depression

that family has problems, i'll bet

ones you'll never know

exploiting her death to prove some non-existant

point is very tacky

you people love to believe it's wasn't in some

way your own faults as parents don't you?

blame it on the children

and their druggie behavior

if you were so concerned

you would have posted that obit

weeks ago

please go away now

you make me want to  ::puke::

[Anonymous]

"My child been reaching out to another at N.A. to keep coming to meetings who had been fighting this disease without much help from her parents. She hung herself last night at home. I wonder....... no... it is not my place."

" I am sorry. I misunderstood the day of the event but my sadness hass not lessened. Apparently it was learned this last Saturday. The event occured the week before. Here are the details...."

"Since this is a public obituary notice, I have no problems in sharing it with you yet it still brings sadness to me. This should be verifyable for those who wish to find anything they can to discredit what I have to say. That is truely their issue. I have shared with you things to think about. Hopefully you do. If not,.... Oh well, I tried. I feel I have met my need to post in here and nothing else need be said. Good luck in your struggles.

Hugs  "

*****************************

OK, I will give you that. Maybe the Detroit Free Press didn't cover it, perhaps there are a lot more suicides not covered around here locally, much less nationally. Suicide no doubt is a sad fact that regretfully does happen to some people. Yes, they get wrapped in situations that they tragically think they need to end their lives over, and only THEY know what is really ticking inside them. NOT you or I. Like Pathway, what Straight INC used to do with people like that is tell them they were "fucked up" and "worthless" and that their "families wanted nothing to do with them". Straight INC would cut and carve into them sooo damned much emotionally that they had NOTHING to fall back on when they finally did leave the "program". Everybody I know on these boards knows of at least one suicide victim after getting out of Straight. I myself know of 3.

I didn't mean to beat up on you, but I can't stand people like you coming on here and throwing a bunch of Straight INC-like program 'druggie' "disease" crap on us. I mean was it necessary for us all to know the gruesome details of how she committed suicide? Not unless of course there is some propaganda you need to spread out like manure. At any rate, can you even prove it was drugs, oh how you would like to, but that would be ridiculous and you know it. She had underlying issues to begin with. I agree with you if you say her parents weren't there for her, but why do people like you think if she could get help in a Straight INC-like place like Pathway Family Center ? I could just see you guys getting a hold of her over there - taking an already depressed young woman and ripping her up yet still more. OH yeah, I can see it all right now, this young woman on first phase, ''so-n-so, you are so fucked up!!!, you don't deserve to see your parents, you did twisted sexual things and you're selfish-selfish-selfish, you'll have to "earn" the "privilege" to talk to them.

Yeah HUGS, I really think your PFC methods could of saved her from taking her life ~ yeah-right, dream on!!!!!!

You know, it's only a matter of time before suicide statistics start coming out people who killed themselves who were once in Pathway. I suppose you bozos over there will once again blame it on the victim and not YOUR mind rapist methods.....


PS...I still don't hug mind rapists..... :wink:

[butternationalist]

[

1 Personal freedom

2 Social freedoms, clicking, looking at others without permission, talking with others without permission,permission to stand up or sit down, permission to move about the room, permission to pour a glass of water, restriction of what room you may allowed to enter,having access to the phone, never a free moment to be by myself, privacy in general.



3 Loss of All simple material possessions, jewelry,make-up, watches, wallets, keys,furniture other than mattresses in phaser room.

And as a side effect from insuring these things,

I as a parent am also restricted in my own personal freedoms. I cannot watch television while you are in the room. I cannot listen to music while you are in the room. I cannot walk around certain areas of the house whily you are in the bathroom or getting changed. I must listen to phone calls not only listening for the content of your conversation but to make sure the other person on the line is who you say they are and that the conversation is not harmful (making you visibly upset). I cannot go anywhere and leave you unsupervised. So WE ALL pay a hefty price for a dysfunctional family.
<
Hmmmmm, I dont disagree that you had to give up these thngs while in pathway. But ifI may allow me this question. If your son/daughter was not a "drug addict" would you have done all of these things?? I believe the correct answer hell no. you were just as brainwashed as some of the others. you were lied to and told all of these horrible things would happen should you choose not to follow the rules. Your child would be scarred because you dont support them!?!?!
 no offense maam but, i consistently hear the same retorical bullshit from you and it should stop. peace----SMITH

[Antigen]

Look, Hugs, you seem to imply that it was the drugs that made this girl kill herself. But that just doesn't stand to reason. For the past 30 years or more, NIDA and the DOJ as well as various research organizations have conducted various kinds of studies and surveys to determine how many kids are using which drugs and how often.

Consistently, no mater who's doing the research or how they go about it, they have come up with virtually the same information; around half of high school kids do drugs, and somewhat more than half of college kids.

And yet, strangely, we don't see a whole lot of suicides and suicide attempts among half the young adult population. Only among those unfortunate enought to get sucked into a high demand cult like yours.

Oh, btw, one caveat. Remember, folks, how program people define the term 'suicide'. When I hitchhiked accross the country to get away from the crazy bastards, that was defined as a suicide attempt. I had some money, I knew where the bus station was. However, I also knew the Program strategy of putting up posters and making inqueries at every conventional means of escape, so I knew better than to take the bus.

Oh, and by the other way, are ya'll watching what just happened in New Jersey? Check it out:
http://thestraights.com/articles/lulu.htm

If we can get these sadistic loonies before an impartial judge and jury and just let them be themselves, it's all over. Those of you who are considering suing, I highly recomend that you get in touch with Phil Elberg and see if he can give you some good advice and recomendations.

Give me the youth, and Germany will rule the world.
--Hitler

_________________
Ginger Warbis ~ Antigen
American P.O.W. 10/80 - 10/82
Straight South (Sarasota, FL)
Anonymity Anonymous

[Anonymous]

What our child has learned from Pathway:
1.That being made to sleep, live in a house with people you don't like, and call them mom and dad will make you repress the horrible rage that you held towards your parents. But, it's still there.
2. If one parent sees that the program is brainwashing and unreal, they are to be disrespected, resented, and out of their life.
3. That a therapist who hasn't dealt with their own shit will influence the childs' rage against a parent who questions the program.
4. That cruel remarks are "good confronting behavior".
5. That they are only "one drink" or "one drug" away from relapse.
6.  That drug addiction is a life long disease and they will never be cured.  (which isn't true)
7. That they can easily ignore others feelings or conversation. That they don't want others to FEEL for them or tell them what they are feeling. Unconsciously we do feel hostility and anger from others but our child will deny she feels that way as she's screaming at you to get out of her face.
8. To learn that it really WAS her family that screwed her up and they will pay forever.

[Anonymous]

Continued.
9. That the program is changed and WHY weren't they allowed to go to the bathroom in private on first level, allowed to wear shoes, why were they armed?
10.  That if a host parent is not being kind to them and they say anything about it to a parent who COULD take them home for a night, they suddenly turn on that parent, and tells everyone that all that parent is trying to do is to screw up their chances at graduating.
11. That if a host parent is ill during a weekend they are supposed to host 4 teenagers and does not host, that that parent is banned from the program by the therapist.

[Anonymous]

So continued:
 In other words we have the same child, but drug free now, and now she believes that it is only Pathway that can help her. It is very, very sad for the family, but of course Pathway looks at it as it is our fault too.   Maybe someday she won't have the hard, cold eyes she has now.

[Anonymous]

On 2003-07-16 06:34:00, Anonymous wrote:

"So continued:

 In other words we have the same child, but drug free now, and now she believes that it is only Pathway that can help her."

I do not know if you have graduated the program or not but that is not the message I see the graduates showing me. What I see is that Pathway has shown them to rely on themselves with support from N.A. or A.A. I agree that the earlier program did not achieve this goal in therapy to the level I would have prefered. However, I see much more effort to make this happen in the last year. Pathway is there obviously for aftercare which is to help in issues of being on their own again and temptations, healthy choices. But even at that stage of the program, it is still up to the individual to make good choices. All they can do is provide guidance.  Use what you have learned and the support of others to have a good life.
If this can be done totally on your own, I commend you for your will to stay clean. If you cannot, then seek support of your clean friends, N.A.,A.A. Church groups, where ever you can find it. I guess I just do not have a problem with  intensive support initially. As maturity sets in, obviously you must be the judge of what works.

[METALGOD8]

:smokin:

[Anonymous]

Well be proud of yourself because this child has the attitude that she doesn't need or want us at all.

[Anonymous]

"Well be proud of yourself because this child has the attitude that she doesn't need or want us at all."

 :flame:

[Anonymous]

"Well be proud of yourself because this child has the attitude that she doesn't need or want us at all."

 :flame:

So you are saying that she doesn't have the right to be pissed off at you...she isn't entitled to emotions she has that don't necessarily agree with YOURS? I see right through your post...it boils down to that you're just a control freak. You can't MAKE a person change their attitude toward you, and I don't give a shit how many years PFC rapes her mind, all that is going to do is mess her up emotionally for life.

I had attitude problems with my parents just like your daughter before I went in Straight. The mind rape mill made it all "my fault", they made the parents like you the "victims". After a good brainwashing, I "graduated" Straight and carried that belief around with me for about 20 years and it almost killed me to make a long story short. My 20 year long mind set allowed my parents and all those around me the opportunity to be the scapegoat for their problems, a chance to piss on me any time they wanted. That's what your mind rape mill is doing to you daughter whether you choose to deal with this reality today or not.

People like you that have these overbearing egos are so damned selfish, I can't even put it in words. You won't even give the kids a chance to think for themselves, make mistakes and learn from them, hell, breath for that matter. You think that you can just put them away somewhere and somebody else will "fix" them. WHAT's WRONG WITH YOU?... HOW DARE you just throw her away to a bunch of strangers? Well I honestly hope some day she gets wise and sues the shit out of you. You'd have it coming.

[Anonymous]

From what I have seen at Pathway, they teach EVERYONE to look at themselves. I have never heard anyone say that it is ALL my child's fault. To the contrary, I have found that each of my family members played a role in events. I was taught to have humulity and look at my own stuff as is each member of the family. Why is it so difficult to do that? Pride, denial, maybe a bit of both. In any event it does not hurt the situation to at least look at my own behavior and see if something can change. Nothing in life ever does if I am unwilling to at least look at it. Asking questions like could I have done something different than what I did in the past harmful? I fail to see it. To point out the effects of my behavior on others I had not considered because I only wanted to look at my own misery can only open my eyes to a bigger world than the one I used to live in.

I am sad to think that a common belief by parents that their child was the drug abuser that they don't have to look at their own issues. Yes the child has a drug problem, partially because they do not know how to stop, but mostly because they do not know how to handle problems in life. Most drug abuse starts out as avoidance. If you child does not have much to do with you, perhaps there is a reason much closer to home. How convenient to blame Pathway. My money is on the child,the parents beacuase the child is dropped back into a home without help to deal with an unchanged family dysfunction. Would I expect my child to be happy to be in that situation? Hell No.

[Antigen]

On 2003-07-17 15:06:00, Anonymous wrote:

"From what I have seen at Pathway, they teach EVERYONE to look at themselves. I have never heard anyone say that it is ALL my child's fault. To the contrary, I have found that each of my family members played a role in events. I was taught to have humulity and look at my own stuff as is each member of the family. Why is it so difficult to do that? Pride, denial, maybe a bit of both."

Or, another nifty term that they worked into the lexicon back in the early `80's; "cognitive dissonance". Here's how people in the more commonly accepted reality define that term:

"Two cognitions are said to be dissonant if one cognition follows from the opposite of another. What happens to people when they discover dissonant cognitions? The answer to this question forms the basic postulate of Festinger¹s theory. A person who has dissonant or discrepant cognitions is said to be in a state of psychological dissonance, which is experienced as unpleasant psychological tension."

In simpler terms, it's the feeling you get when things just don't add up. That happens a LOT in a cult environment. For example, what's the first and most important rule? It's the very bedrock of the entire philosophy. So then, how does it fit that the same philosophy requires that you, as a parent, lie to your kid or trick them any way you can or lie to others in order to get them into the program?

It doesn't. If a prospective parent is concerned about betraying the trust of their child, there's a canned response about how they'll die without treatment, yadda, yadda. But what you're telling them to do directly contradics what you say the program is all about.

Similarly, the Program definitions of good parent and bad parent are quite different from how the rest of the world defines those terms. In fact, they're quite opposite.

 

Good Parents
Real World	Program
Give unconditional love	Withholds contact and affection to coerce desired behavior
Never betrays a trust	Will turn kid in to staff without hesitation
Will go through hell and high water to protect kid from harm	Will blithely accept any lame-assed explanation when the kid they're not allowed to talk to appears accross the room with obvious bruises and cuts
Teaches kids to be cautious of strangers	Trusts Program staff and clients implicitly, no matter what.
Provides that home, where no matter what they have to take you in	Will change the locks and call the police if the kid steps out of line and can't be forced back onto front row.

I could go on.

Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism--how passionately I hate them!
--Albert Einstein