Caged like an animal!? Did you ever contemplate suicide?????

[Anonymous]

I want to know if while you were locked away if your mental state reached a point where the only escape that seemed possible was to kill yourself. This is a taboo subject and suicide is a tragedy , but I need to know if this thought was going through any of your heads. Did this horrible thought ever pop into your head??? Why do you think you were able to bear it and not act on these devilish thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Disingenuous...probably.
They will exploit you, restrain you, violate you, malign you, even drug you, and strip away all that defines you in an effort to destroy you. Given time, they will break the child’s will (for some their will to live). Yet, the control over that fate is also deprived of the captive. Death is both promise and threat.
To survive them is to defeat them. To survive with some semblance of your spirit intact and to then become something that isn’t just a tragic parody of the perpetrator is to overcome them. To live through it is tough. To thrive in the life you make for yourself after is fuckin’ badass.

[Anonymous]

Not only did I think about it,, I tried several times.

[psy]

Disingenuous...probably.
They will exploit you, restrain you, violate you, malign you, even drug you, and strip away all that defines you in an effort to destroy you. Given time, they will break the child’s will (for some their will to live). Yet, the control over that fate is also deprived of the captive. Death is both promise and threat.
To survive them is to defeat them. To survive with some semblance of your spirit intact and to then become something that isn’t just a tragic parody of the perpetrator is to overcome them. To live through it is tough. To thrive in the life you make for yourself after is fuckin’ badass.

:notworthy:
Wow.  Well said and very poetic.

[try another castle]

I thought about suicide often.

I would even cop to it in workshops when we're supposed to "get all that shit out"


I thought about homicide a LOT more.

I had no problem never copping to that. It was one of the few things that made me feel happy and in control.


For those few who knew me in program, that information may come as a surprise, since I was hardly killer material, and I gave the impression that I copped to everything, even unnecessary stuff. But there were definitely some people in my peer group I had many a gory fantasy about.

In retrospect, I chalk it up to sexual tension. (i.e. fantasies of bloody impalement could definitely be interpreted as such.) Basically, I think when it came down to it, I wanted to buttrape them.

[Anonymous]

Basically, I think when it came down to it, I wanted to buttrape them.

[Anonymous]

Woah Castle, group is over you can keep some stuff to yourself now.

[Anonymous]

Contemplate it? I did it.

[Anonymous]

So did I.

BTW, Carter's ass is nice and soothing in this sauna down here.