Important~ Re: the 14 yo. boy's death at Aspen's Youth Care

[hanzomon4]

I guarantee the 2 staff who let my son die will never work in this industry again

Really?  Ask Cathy Sutton about Gayle Palmer.  Ask Joyce about the Sudweeks or Bernie Farrow.  Shit...  Point out one industry member that has gotten anything more than a slap on the wrist.  I hate to say it, but the only way to guarantee industry members work again isn't quite legal.

You sound like one of those bratty kids with entitlement issues. Get some real therapy and get over it. I know something about that. I was abused as a child. I had a major chip on my shoulder as a result.  I got over it.

What was said to you wasn't right ,but that statement won't make you very popular on fornits.  In the program I was in everybody supposedly had "entitlement issues".  You probably didn't mean it, but that statement is likely to offend a lot of people here.

I don't have any patience for entitlement and the way our culture promotes it. All teenagers have entitlement issues, it's part of being a teenager. And I really don't care about being popular on this site. I was not popular with my kids when I refused to buy into their entitlement issues when I didn't buy them every new game system or designer shoe that came out, but I stuck to my guns anyway.  All I want is accountabliity for my son's death and others before him, and to hopefully prevent another one. If the caretakers who let him die are not prosecuted and prevented from working in the industry again, I will take out a full page ad in the Salt Lake Tribune and hound them until the day I die, along with every legislator who will listen to me.  But the bigger question I have is why doesn't the American public care about these deaths? Every other human rights violation gets everyone in a tizzy. Stop slamming the parents for their kids' behavior and deaths and get this BS totally out in the open.

Mom

Miss, you have a lot to learn...

Other posters, take min's advice while dealing with this lady she truly doesn't get the depth of this issue. It's not her fault and right now, in the middle of grieving, beating her over the head won't help. Let's be smart and provide her with links to information that can enlighten her.

[Anonymous]

How common is this condition that effected your son? I ask because many deaths are ruled as a fluke freak of nature, like Anderson, but turn out to be more down to earth.

Also many programs have Professional staff that are hardly ever at the program. I would look into that as well to see if what you were promised matched reality.

.

The type of bowel infarction he had is not commonly seen in the ER, with a fairly high mortality rate, but the coronor and other doctors I have consulted with, indicated surgery could have saved his life, if he had gotton immediate medical attention. The bowel infarction itself was a random thing, not related to meds, not heriditary. Just happens out of the blue, like a ruptured appendix. But death could have been prevented if someone had done their job and followed procedure, instead of assuming he was faking. That's really sick.

Yes, in asnwer to some earlier posts,  he was on medication for neuorlogical problems, delusional thinking and behavior. I took him to UCLA Neuropsych last  year,  and he was titrated gradually off his meds, then put back on when it was obvious they were necessary. Part of the plan -their recommendation - with him being in RTC was closer observation of his behavior to get the meds evened out, after a month in the hospital didn't suffice. His was a challenging situation for many years. Years of individual and family therapy,  behavior modification, probation, JH, EM were all inneffective. His social worker refused to provide behavioral services for him, but threatened to report me to CPS for him abusing my daughter if I didn't get him out of my house.

Youth care was not a state or county  funded program. Because I was working, I didn't qualify for any help from them.  My insurance paid for the 1st couple of months, and I was in the process of setting up school funding. another child from our school disctict had already gone to YC and had a very successful experience there, and had graduated from high school. He came home with a good set of behavior tools and a good attitude toward life. Great kid.

Yeah I'll be sorry for the rest of my life that I sent him there. If I'm lucky, maybe the guilt will kill me.

[hanzomon4]

How common is this condition that effected your son? I ask because many deaths are ruled as a fluke freak of nature, like Anderson, but turn out to be more down to earth.

Also many programs have Professional staff that are hardly ever at the program. I would look into that as well to see if what you were promised matched reality.

.

The type of bowel infarction he had is not commonly seen in the ER, with a fairly high mortality rate, but the coronor and other doctors I have consulted with, indicated surgery could have saved his life, if he had gotton immediate medical attention. The bowel infarction itself was a random thing, not related to meds, not heriditary. Just happens out of the blue, like a ruptured appendix. But death could have been prevented if someone had done their job and followed procedure, instead of assuming he was faking. That's really sick.

Yes, in asnwer to some earlier posts,  he was on medication for neuorlogical problems, delusional thinking and behavior. I took him to UCLA Neuropsych last  year,  and he was titrated gradually off his meds, then put back on when it was obvious they were necessary. Part of the plan -their recommendation - with him being in RTC was closer observation of his behavior to get the meds evened out, after a month in the hospital didn't suffice. His was a challenging situation for many years. Years of individual and family therapy,  behavior modification, probation, JH, EM were all inneffective. His social worker refused to provide behavioral services for him, but threatened to report me to CPS for him abusing my daughter if I didn't get him out of my house.

Youth care was not a state or county  funded program. Because I was working, I didn't qualify for any help from them.  My insurance paid for the 1st couple of months, and I was in the process of setting up school funding. another child from our school disctict had already gone to YC and had a very successful experience there, and had graduated from high school. He came home with a good set of behavior tools and a good attitude toward life. Great kid.

Yeah I'll be sorry for the rest of my life that I sent him there. If I'm lucky, maybe the guilt will kill me.

Don't say that, you can't let guilt destroy you. It only does a disservice to you and your son. What was the name of the medication? I ask because the medications I've been on all caused really bad withdrawal when I tried to stop taking them. The withdrawal caused me to have extreme fluctuations in my behavior and emotions, I would go from feeling like superman to sobbing in minutes.

Is it possible that your son was over treated? I eventually  just stopped getting "treatment"(I still had support from family and my local school district) after years of failed and damaging therapy(drug therapy not a program). However I wasn't violent(SSRIs changed that) so that wasn't something my mom had to worry about. How often was your son violent? Could temporary placements in an emergency hospital psych ward during these violent or suicidal outburst have been an option in your opinion?

Anyway, thats all second guessing and can wait. Have you filed a formal compliant with the State(I guess whoever licenses YC and perhaps CPS)? I would do so to make sure it's a part of YC's record as a confirmed complaint.  

Your social worker should not have forced you into a corner like S/he did. You may want to write your state congressman about the lack of options and support provide to you and your son or file a compliant with your states DHS. The debate about BM and programs aside, parents should have quality care options that keep the child in the home or close to home and financial support for treatment if needed.  

I'll say it again, feeling guilty and beating yourself up helps no one. Dropping dead is not the mark of a survivor and thats what you must become to bring honor to your son and to help put an end to abuse and neglect of children in need of mental health services.

[Che Gookin]

Given some of the comments on this thread I've found myself very unmotivated to post on it. However, given the fact that I'm one of the few posters who actually spent time working in a programme I'd like to touch on a few key issues.

To the mom:

I don't think you are quite aware of how deep the deception goes regarding programs. These places aren't only professionals at scamming parents they also have gotten quite adept at swindling professional psycotherapists.

*Google up any annual meeting of the American Psych Association and more than likely you will see that either the Hyde School or Elan has a booth at the meeting.

more later.

[Che Gookin]

Sorry I was at work between classes on my last post and I had to get moving.

As I was saying programmes are the master of deception. They scam parents, ed cons(though I suspect most of them just don't care), and government officials.

In fact these places conn just about everyone that they come into contact with.

State Officials:
* Most of the time when a state run audit is conducted they sweep through the facility looking to ensure that it is up to code. By this I mean that all the fire alarms work, medical kits are in place, fire extinguishers are functional, and no building codes are present. They will also pull a few files at random and check to make sure that the paperwork is properly filled out and the right sort of paperwork is being properly filled out.

In Florida they would pull a random assortment of kids and counselors who would fill out a questionaire. What ever became of that questionaire is beyond me, as I don't ever remember hearing about it again. Most of the kids indicated to me later on that they BSed most of the questions with nonsense answers.

In Alabama they didn't even bother meeting with the kids. They just said, "show us the files and your damn smoke detectors better be working." Of course there was a bit more to it with paperwork inspections, but not to much more.

In both cases neither the state of Florida or the state of Alabama required the facility to forward any incident reports concerning violence or restraints.

*Parents

At Three Springs the song and dance given to parents is honed to such a fine art it boggles the mind. Parents are typically taken to the best looking campsite by two of the higher status kids. Their contact with the youths are limited to those who are trusted. A large part of the parent contact is performed by the admissions office in a nice cozy air conditioned room.


* Ed Cons

Often to scam ed cons the kids would clean the entire campus the night before they would arrive. Ed cons were also taken to the better looking camp sites and so and so forth by the trusted residents.



Now you have to really think and try to look beyond the bullshit to understand how the hell an educated shrink would reccomend some RTC in the first place. I attribute it to three things.

1) Not all shrinks are as informed as they should be, and or believe that the facility they are reccomending really is different from the rest. The believe this more than likely due to the fact they were scammed like the parents were.

2) Some shrinks are  cockbiters who probably got their degree out of a cracker jacks box. These sorts shouldn't be allowed to work the register at McDonald's let alone work with people who do or don't need a good head tweaking.

3) Some shrinks are in the program business themselves as an ed con or a program operator.


Now I could go on and on, but the main point here I want to get across to you is that what happened to your son is a terrible thing. The counselor and his/her supervisor should be brought up on involunatry manslaugter charges in my opinion. You have your responsibilities in all of this to be sure. I can't and won't begin to tell you what they are. I suspect you will discover this in your own good time.

Should you feel guilty?

I don't know if should is the case, but more than likely it is just one of those facts of life. Maybe you shouldn't feel guilty but chances are you will anyway.

So given the fact that I probably won't ever be able to convince you to set your guilt aside..

You should definitely feel rage. Use this rage to hound the fuckers that killed your child to the very end of the earth. Show them no mercy in your pursuit of them and know that by doing what you do you will probably be saving some other child the same horrible fate that was inflicted on your son by these bastards.

In the end I want you to know that whatever peace you need to seek for yourself will be between you, your family, and whatever divine spirit you tend to affiliate yourself with. Good luck with that.


*disclaimer... no where in here did I suggest the use of any sort of physical force.

[Anonymous]

To you "Off topic" folks -Instead of bashing parents or staff of programs, and making assumptioms without facts, when you don't even know what happened, let's focus on realistic changes that can be made at the state and/or federal level to stop the madness of teens dying in treatment.

Even with a nurturing parent who has tried everything, and refuses to tolerate maniupulation and abuse by their child, as is the case in the boy in Draper, there are legitimate situations where a parent needs to have their child in a confined treatment program for a temporary period of time, other than juvenile hall, in order to ensure their child's safety, and force them to participate in needed therapy.[/color][/b]  This boy's mom has been traumatized by this death, and is still trying to deal with the griefinvolved in the tragic recent deaths of her husband, mother, and now teenage son. She is an educated, caring, and persistent person, Her son was on the autism spectrum, and she had left no stone unturned in trying to find appropriate services for her beautiful, sensitive, intelligent son, who had a right to proper medical treatment in this situation. If the authorities in Utah would do their job, this boy would have returned home in 6 months, returned to his wrestling team, chess, golf, activities with his family and friemds, finished high school, and gone on to college to fulfill his dreams of becoming an architect. Instead his mom got the sheriffs knocking on her door to tell her that her son was dead, without any knowledge he had even been sick, and had to go Utah to visit him.  she certainly had the right to expect his safe return. YC is a licensed program, with a good track record, and had been cooperative in making corrective actions in the past to get to a high level of care.

The therapy program at Youth Care had acutally been extremely beneficial to this boy, and they had started planning for his return home. He had had a one week home pass with his mother the week before he died, and the changes he exhibited in his interpersonal relationships were profound. He was a willing participant in his treatment program, understood his disorder, and totally understood the necessity of his mom placing him there.  (Funny, his mother posted that he wanted to be there.) He was never abused while in this program, mom visited regularly, (mom said she visited 2 times in 4 months) and he had outside contact with family and friends where appropriate.  He was very outspoken about the rights of kids with disabilities, having been subjected to cruel bullying in public schools, made many friends while in treatment, and actually convinced several other kids to stop their self harm behavior with his heartfelt emotion over the loss of his dad last year.  He preferred the environment there over his public high school.

Anyone with actual useful information or documentaable proof about negligence about the innerworkings of the state of Utah in regards to reform in residential treatmemt programs and why criminal charges are rarely filed, lack of stiffer licensing and enforcement, etc should post this information so that the family can contact the appropriate high level officials and get effective action. These are not "disposable" kids, shame on those who bash the parents for being the problem instead of actively advocating for legislative change.  Get a life and get moving and do something responsible....This boys death is tragic, but let's all turn it into something positive for all the other troubled kids out there who have needs for alternative placememts.

A Sad Friend

[Anonymous]

Guilt comes natural to those of us who have lost our child to this unregulated industry that has literally gotten away with neglect, molestation, and as TSW mentioned, involuntary manslaughter.  If a death was in any way preventable, manslaughter is the least they should be charged with.  

Guilt comes from there being no accountability in this industry.  The first negative comment I heard after the death of my daughter was, "It's their fault she's dead."  This came from a member of our Church.  A family member said, "Why didn't they have Michelle come stay with us?"  DHS said, "You picked the program.  It's like picking Day Care."  Reading Michelle's journal brought about enormous guilt followed by anger.  Gayle Palmer, AKA, Gayle DeGraff's Attorney called me a derranged grieving parent for fighting back.  I can live with that one.  Standing up to this unregulated industry and their sick, warped mentality, would make anyone a little derranged.  

There are three stages to the grieving process.  Shock, Denial, Anger and Perspective.  I remember them all!  I learned how to take the anger and use it in a productive manor.

Guilt is not one of the stages.  It just comes with the territory.  I kicked myself over and over again for being stupid enough to fall for a scam in the name of money that cost my 'child' her life.  BUT, as I learned the TRUTH behind what was happening to 'children' in the name of help and therapy, I stopped kicking myself so hard and started kicking back at the industry that took my 'child' away from me and didn't truly care the way they make you think they do while selling you the program.  I began my crusade and started rattling cages to make change occur.  I find peace in fighting back.

To the Mom,

The guilt will eat you up inside if you let it.  You don't owe anyone here on Fornits an explanation.  Every persons individual circumstances are just as different as each of the 'children' who have fallen victim to this industry.  We made a decision that cost our child his/her life.  This SHOULD NOT have happened.  This DID NOT have to happen.  We lost our loved one.  Not because we didn't love them, but because those we entrusted them with didn't love them the way we do.  DO NOT hold yourself responsible, OR accountable for what happened to your son while in the care of this program.  Hold those who were with your son last accountable.  Stand up, and stay firm, against this industry.  Think of the Mother's Against Drunk Driver's.  Together we can bring about change that will help other 'children' to follow.

It was said by the program Michelle died in that she could have died crossing the street.  But, Michelle did not die crossing the street!  She died in the hands of untrained, unqualified counselors who were told that 'children' will die from time to time and they will have to deal with it.

If Mother's Against Drunk Driver's (MADD) didn't already exist, I would have formed an organization called Mother's Against Derranged Director's.    

Together we can close the window of loss and fight for a law that will improve the quality of care while raising the level of expectation in this out-of-control industry.

Sincerely,
Catherine

[Anonymous]

Mom,
You may want to place a Full-Page-Ad in a Utah newspaper; but these Mormon-owned newspaper companies probably wouldn't accept your ad, or sell you the ad space, so don't count on it!
A very few legislators might listen to you, out of politeness; but after reading Mrs. Sutton's posts; don't count on them really doing anything, either.
You have already posted here about all the "positives" about this treatment facility; and how well this facility worked for your son, prior to his medical emergency - so, basically, you are playing right into this facilities hands. You are being this facilty's greatest supporter without even realizing it. Can't have it both ways: "What a wonderful facility that met all my son's needs.  Just loved visiting the place, watching my son succed, there. My son loved it there --until he died from  medical neligence."

[Anonymous]

THANKS SO MUCH for sharing your words of comfort. I am the mom of the boy who died. I am not stupid, I know exactly what a bowel infarction is.  I have been to Utah and talked to the coronor about the autopsy, and met with the detective in charge of the case. My son died several hours after his intestine twisted. There is no evidence that it was caused by an injury, there were no bruises, and I examined my son's body myself, I did not just take someone's word for it.  His intestine twisted from a mechanical malfunction and he hemoraged to death. Yes, it was probably incredibly painful, and he probably screamed to go the ER, but thanks for the nice visual, it really adds to my grieving process.    What?  You'd rather live in ignorant bliss?  Yes I believe YC was negligent in not having night staff responsible enough to call 911. I am tortured by what his final hours were like, but I am not responsible for the sudden onset of his medical condition, nor is anyone else. Yes, he SHOULD have been in the ER having surgery, not just segregated and checked periodically. I am absolutely horrified that he was not taken to the ER, as was the policy. He might very well have died anyway, but at least he would have had a chance  for a surgical repair. YC has a licensed, and board certified/qualified medical doctor and nurse on staff who should have been called, and would have insisted on calling 911 had they been notified, I know them personally and know this for certain. No I do not believe that they wanted him to die because he was a problematic kid. The police have done a thorough investigation, and based on the information I have, it appears that the caretakers on duty the night my son died thought he was faking, obviously they made a bad choice and should be prosecuted.   They ALL think EVERY kid is faking.  It's built and pounded into the heads of the staff to not believe anything the 'entitled' little brats tell them.  It ain't just one bad apple that's spoiling the bunch.  It's rotten from the core.  I'm not holding my breath, given the previous deaths, but it's out of my control. Bashing me and my supposed lack of parenting skills is not going to change the situation. Most of the people on this site, as far as I can tell, spend way too much time complaining, and very little time doing any real advocacy for change. I had a friend scanning this site and others, trying to get some verifiable and constructive information about previous abuses or medical neglect  at Youth Care, but no one has come forward. Wishing that all of the programs will be closed down is unrealistic. As long as there are teens who do not respond to traditional therapies, teens with mental health issues,  local communities refuse to provide services, and yes,  some bad parenting thrown in, this industy will unfortunately continue to exist. Thanks to the constructive actions of folks like Catharine Sutton and others, the really bad programs do get closed down eventually, and reforms, although minor,  are happening in some states. Unfortunately, it takes a child's death to prompt any changes.  I will use my son's death and do what I can to see that YC is held accountable for this death, and prompt legistation that will force kid's access to medical care, but it's going to take a lot more than inflammatory insults on this site, it's going to take a lot of people working really hard to be heard in the legislature, and force federal and/or state (which I agree is probably a joke)  oversight.  Utah is a tough environment in that regard, the Utah department of licensing really should get sued for negligence. How many of you have looked into a class action suit against them? I am doing that.  I am really disgusted with the comments on this site about my son's death and my actions in placing him in a residential program, you people are worse than the media.   Yes, I researched the teen programs before I sent my son to Utah, I am not stupid.   That's where a lot of the sympathy I had for you ended.  If you checked, you didn't check hard enough.  If you really DID check hard enough and read up on the fact that those types of programs HAVE NO PROVEN SUCCESS and have, in fact, been found to cause even MORE damage and you sent him away anyway.  What can be said. Yes, I  checked watch lists, I checked for WWASP affiliations. Yes, I checked the credentials of every therapist and clinician on staff. Yes, I agonized over sending him away to school. Yes, he was coming home after 6 months or so, I did not abandon him.  No, he was not going to be "cured".  I went into it with my eyes pretty wide open.  I drove to Utah from California and visited him there, 2 times in 4 months and participated in individual and group therapy, which did exist BTW.  Youth Care has a bona fide therapy program. I interviewed a student who had come home. I met every person on the day staff, and called frequently for updates.  I had almost daily contact with his therapist, had several phone calls weekly with my son, pass time alone with my son in my motel room on weekends, and a weeklong visit home. And even with my best efforts, still my son tragically ended up dead.  As much as you want to blame me and tell me how stupid I was, it's not my fault.  I agree, it's not wholly your fault.  But now you're becoming an 'advocate' for regulation.  THAT is your fault.  Eerie reminder of SS and her becoming ad 'advocate' after her daughter was abused.  Everyone wants to try and make these places safer, better, kinder, gentler.  It can't be done After many years of traditional therapies failed, and local resources were not adequate to keep my son at home, I was fearful for my life and that of my other child; and after felony assault charges and Juvenile Hall did not matter to my son, I was unfortunately forced to remove him from my home. No relatives would take him, no local agencies would provide help, as they were convinced by his false "child abuse" charges that he was abused. Juvy would have kept you and your daughter safe and not subjected your son to forced therapy. In reality, my daughter and I were abused, and I was crazy to keep him at home for as long as I did. It was a no brainer - he was going to kill himself or kill one of us.  I still loved him anyway, and wanted him to live with me, but I would not jeapordize my daughter's life any further. While I miss my beautiful spirited boy every day, and will for the rest of my life, I am not going to be bullied by some idiot into thinking I murdered my son by sending him away. I had a right to personal safety in my own home. Until you have had your child come after you with a pitchfork and repeatedly punch you in the face, you have no idea what you are talking about with your parenting skills bullshit.  And for those of you who think Juvenile Hall is a better option, you need to spend some time there. I have.  It's no picnic. My son would undoubtedly have died there.  ??What?  Your son DID die.  Hell, at least he, you and your daughter would have had a chance if he was in juvy.  And yes, I've been too.  I've also been locked up in one of the hellhoes you sent your son too.  No comparison, juvy over mindfuck. Utah was unfortunately a better risk. I suspect some of the posters on this site are posers, have no real interest in the topic, and just like to see their own BS in print.

[Anonymous]

Mom,
You may want to place a Full-Page-Ad in a Utah newspaper; but these Mormon-owned newspaper companies probably wouldn't accept your ad, or sell you the ad space, so don't count on it!
A very few legislators might listen to you, out of politeness; but after reading Mrs. Sutton's posts; don't count on them really doing anything, either.
You have already posted here about all the "positives" about this treatment facility; and how well this facility worked for your son, prior to his medical emergency - so, basically, you are playing right into this facilities hands. You are being this facilty's greatest supporter without even realizing it. Can't have it both ways: "What a wonderful facility that met all my son's needs.  Just loved visiting the place, watching my son succed, there. My son loved it there --until he died from  medical neligence."

BINGO!

[Anonymous]

THANKS SO MUCH for sharing your words of comfort. I am the mom of the boy who died. I am not stupid, I know exactly what a bowel infarction is.  I have been to Utah and talked to the coronor about the autopsy, and met with the detective in charge of the case. My son died several hours after his intestine twisted. There is no evidence that it was caused by an injury, there were no bruises, and I examined my son's body myself, I did not just take someone's word for it.  His intestine twisted from a mechanical malfunction and he hemoraged to death. Yes, it was probably incredibly painful, and he probably screamed to go the ER, but thanks for the nice visual, it really adds to my grieving process.    What?  You'd rather live in ignorant bliss?  Yes I believe YC was negligent in not having night staff responsible enough to call 911. I am tortured by what his final hours were like, but I am not responsible for the sudden onset of his medical condition, nor is anyone else. Yes, he SHOULD have been in the ER having surgery, not just segregated and checked periodically. I am absolutely horrified that he was not taken to the ER, as was the policy. He might very well have died anyway, but at least he would have had a chance  for a surgical repair. YC has a licensed, and board certified/qualified medical doctor and nurse on staff who should have been called, and would have insisted on calling 911 had they been notified, I know them personally and know this for certain. No I do not believe that they wanted him to die because he was a problematic kid. The police have done a thorough investigation, and based on the information I have, it appears that the caretakers on duty the night my son died thought he was faking, obviously they made a bad choice and should be prosecuted.   They ALL think EVERY kid is faking.  It's built and pounded into the heads of the staff to not believe anything the 'entitled' little brats tell them.  It ain't just one bad apple that's spoiling the bunch.  It's rotten from the core.  I'm not holding my breath, given the previous deaths, but it's out of my control. Bashing me and my supposed lack of parenting skills is not going to change the situation. Most of the people on this site, as far as I can tell, spend way too much time complaining, and very little time doing any real advocacy for change. I had a friend scanning this site and others, trying to get some verifiable and constructive information about previous abuses or medical neglect  at Youth Care, but no one has come forward. Wishing that all of the programs will be closed down is unrealistic. As long as there are teens who do not respond to traditional therapies, teens with mental health issues,  local communities refuse to provide services, and yes,  some bad parenting thrown in, this industy will unfortunately continue to exist. Thanks to the constructive actions of folks like Catharine Sutton and others, the really bad programs do get closed down eventually, and reforms, although minor,  are happening in some states. Unfortunately, it takes a child's death to prompt any changes.  I will use my son's death and do what I can to see that YC is held accountable for this death, and prompt legistation that will force kid's access to medical care, but it's going to take a lot more than inflammatory insults on this site, it's going to take a lot of people working really hard to be heard in the legislature, and force federal and/or state (which I agree is probably a joke)  oversight.  Utah is a tough environment in that regard, the Utah department of licensing really should get sued for negligence. How many of you have looked into a class action suit against them? I am doing that.  I am really disgusted with the comments on this site about my son's death and my actions in placing him in a residential program, you people are worse than the media.   Yes, I researched the teen programs before I sent my son to Utah, I am not stupid.   That's where a lot of the sympathy I had for you ended.  If you checked, you didn't check hard enough.  If you really DID check hard enough and read up on the fact that those types of programs HAVE NO PROVEN SUCCESS and have, in fact, been found to cause even MORE damage and you sent him away anyway.  What can be said. Yes, I  checked watch lists, I checked for WWASP affiliations. Yes, I checked the credentials of every therapist and clinician on staff. Yes, I agonized over sending him away to school. Yes, he was coming home after 6 months or so, I did not abandon him.  No, he was not going to be "cured".  I went into it with my eyes pretty wide open.  I drove to Utah from California and visited him there, 2 times in 4 months and participated in individual and group therapy, which did exist BTW.  Youth Care has a bona fide therapy program. I interviewed a student who had come home. I met every person on the day staff, and called frequently for updates.  I had almost daily contact with his therapist, had several phone calls weekly with my son, pass time alone with my son in my motel room on weekends, and a weeklong visit home. And even with my best efforts, still my son tragically ended up dead.  As much as you want to blame me and tell me how stupid I was, it's not my fault.  I agree, it's not wholly your fault.  But now you're becoming an 'advocate' for regulation.  THAT is your fault.  Eerie reminder of SS and her becoming ad 'advocate' after her daughter was abused.  Everyone wants to try and make these places safer, better, kinder, gentler.  It can't be done After many years of traditional therapies failed, and local resources were not adequate to keep my son at home, I was fearful for my life and that of my other child; and after felony assault charges and Juvenile Hall did not matter to my son, I was unfortunately forced to remove him from my home. No relatives would take him, no local agencies would provide help, as they were convinced by his false "child abuse" charges that he was abused. Juvy would have kept you and your daughter safe and not subjected your son to forced therapy. In reality, my daughter and I were abused, and I was crazy to keep him at home for as long as I did. It was a no brainer - he was going to kill himself or kill one of us.  I still loved him anyway, and wanted him to live with me, but I would not jeapordize my daughter's life any further. While I miss my beautiful spirited boy every day, and will for the rest of my life, I am not going to be bullied by some idiot into thinking I murdered my son by sending him away. I had a right to personal safety in my own home. Until you have had your child come after you with a pitchfork and repeatedly punch you in the face, you have no idea what you are talking about with your parenting skills bullshit.  And for those of you who think Juvenile Hall is a better option, you need to spend some time there. I have.  It's no picnic. My son would undoubtedly have died there.  ??What?  Your son DID die.  Hell, at least he, you and your daughter would have had a chance if he was in juvy.  And yes, I've been too.  I've also been locked up in one of the hellhoes you sent your son too.  No comparison, juvy over mindfuck. Utah was unfortunately a better risk. I suspect some of the posters on this site are posers, have no real interest in the topic, and just like to see their own BS in print.

Guest - since you are so much smarter than a whole team of specialists at UCLA, let me ask you a question. What would you have done? My son was in criminal custody, but the judge wanted him out of my home, as did my younger daughter, for a period of 6 months. Juvenile Hall and probation did not want him, judge would not order him into Juvenile Hall, which was worse than any program I've heard about. it is filled with gangs and molestors, and meds were not administred properly. no relatives would take him due to the issues involved.  I had had another mom who had worked with kids for years living with me for 6 months, and even that didn't help. Tell me what I could have done, other than find the best quality place I could, which obviously turned out to be a bad choice. Most of the programs I contacted declined to even accept an application, they felt his problems were too challenging. I was unable to work because of his actions. He had to have a police escort to get to school. A police officer sat outside his room in the ER when I took him there when he got violent. No ambulance company would transport him. He had already been to UCLA, they had discharged him, and did not want him back. no community resources where I live, I pounded on doors trying to find a solution. No other ped psych hospitals in California would take him. Please tell me what my other options were. we were scared. My son could overpower me, and my husband had just died. I provided a loving and nurturing home, had reasonable and consistent house rules. My 12 year old spent hours hiding behind her locked door. I had a lock on my bedroom door as well, and was frightened going to bed at night. I felt totally helpless and abused. I would really like to know. Perhaps some other parent can make a better choice than I did.

You missed the point in my last post, which is my fault, I should have made it clearer. I AM filled with rage. I just don't think his death was program related in exactly the same way some other deaths were, in other words, the "programming" did not cause his bowel infarction, as in Michelle and others' deaths, and probably some of you as well. This was blatant medical neglect. Did the night staff think he was manipulating? Likely, and I suspected that from the start.  With the issue of "programming" removed from my son's case, and medical neglect the only issue, it may actually make it easeir to get the DA to do something.  And because this was a residential facility with a medical staff, and not a camp or wilderness program, the expectations for medical assistance and accessibility are more clear. I am not blind as some would think to the atrocities that go on in some of these places. I grew up in a supposedly "loving Christian home" snakepit that was worse than any of the survivor stories I have read. It took me 20 years to recover from it, but I did. The survivors of programs will too, if they are committed to it, and can replace negative thoughts with positive ones.  I still have to work hard every day on pushing away the negative self talk for the emotional and physical abuse I suffered as a child and teenager.  That's why I resisted RTC for my son for so many years, and it took me months to find a place. In hindsight I wish I had sent him elsewhere.

Stay tuned to Draper and Salt Lake. I'm getting stronger every day, and this will be my full time job for awhile. I appreciate all the helpful suggestions from this site. For those who insist on calling me foul names and judging me from afar, I still say, get some help, you have not moved on. Be a real voice.

[Anonymous]

Guest - since you are so much smarter than a whole team of specialists at UCLA, let me ask you a question.   You can lose the sarcasm lady.  What would you have done? My son was in criminal custody, but the judge wanted him out of my home, as did my younger daughter, for a period of 6 months. Juvenile Hall and probation did not want him,  that's not what you said.  You said" Juvenile Hall did not matter to my son,"   judge would not order him into Juvenile Hall, which was worse than any program I've heard about.   Not really.  I would have much preferred juvy to mindrape.  it is filled with gangs and molestors, and meds were not administred properly. no relatives would take him due to the issues involved.  I had had another mom who had worked with kids for years living with me for 6 months, and even that didn't help. Tell me what I could have done, other than find the best quality place I could, which obviously turned out to be a bad choice. Most of the programs I contacted declined to even accept an application, they felt his problems were too challenging. I was unable to work because of his actions. He had to have a police escort to get to school. A police officer sat outside his room in the ER when I took him there when he got violent. No ambulance company would transport him. He had already been to UCLA, they had discharged him, and did not want him back. no community resources where I live, I pounded on doors trying to find a solution. No other ped psych hospitals in California would take him. Please tell me what my other options were. we were scared. My son could overpower me, and my husband had just died. I provided a loving and nurturing home, had reasonable and consistent house rules. My 12 year old spent hours hiding behind her locked door. I had a lock on my bedroom door as well, and was frightened going to bed at night. I felt totally helpless and abused. I would really like to know. Juvy Perhaps some other parent can make a better choice than I did.

You missed the point in my last post, which is my fault, I should have made it clearer. I AM filled with rage. I just don't think his death was program related in exactly the same way some other deaths were, in other words, the "programming" did not cause his bowel infarction, as in Michelle and others' deaths, and probably some of you as well. This was blatant medical neglect. Did the night staff think he was manipulating? Likely, and I suspected that from the start.  With the issue of "programming" removed from my son's case, and medical neglect the only issue, it may actually make it easeir to get the DA to do something.  And because this was a residential facility with a medical staff, and not a camp or wilderness program, Not a hospital either the expectations for medical assistance and accessibility are more clear. I am not blind as some would think to the atrocities that go on in some of these places. I grew up in a supposedly "loving Christian home" snakepit that was worse than any of the survivor stories I have read. It took me 20 years to recover from it, but I did. The survivors of programs will too, if they are committed to it, and can replace negative thoughts with positive ones.  I still have to work hard every day on pushing away the negative self talk for the emotional and physical abuse I suffered as a child and teenager.  That's why I resisted RTC for my son for so many years, and it took me months to find a place. In hindsight I wish I had sent him elsewhere.

Stay tuned to Draper and Salt Lake. I'm getting stronger every day, and this will be my full time job for awhile. I appreciate all the helpful suggestions from this site. For those who insist on calling me foul names and judging me from afar, I still say, get some help, you have not moved on.   And THAT is where you lose a lot of us.  Be a real voice.

You too.  Do NOT become an "advocate" in the sense of SS.  Regulations already exist to protect children from abuse.  Enforce THOSE instead of trying to make these places 'safer' with even more regulation.  It can't be done.  If they're not following the existing regulations that make it illegal to abuse children (it's been said here many times that if parents were doing to these kids what programs do, they'd be arrested for child abuse.)  , what makes you think adding more bureaucratic bullshit to sort through will help?  

[Anonymous]

I don't have any patience for entitlement and the way our culture promotes it. All teenagers have entitlement issues, it's part of being a teenager.  Which is why you had no patience for your son. And I really don't care about being popular on this site. I was not popular with my kids when I refused to buy into their entitlement issues who created those "entitlement issues" in your son?  Did he come by them by osmosis? when I didn't buy them every new game system or designer shoe that came out, but I stuck to my guns anyway.  All I want is accountabliity for my son's death and others before him, and to hopefully prevent another one. If the caretakers who let him die are not prosecuted and prevented from working in the industry again, I will take out a full page ad in the Salt Lake Tribune and hound them until the day I die, along with every legislator who will listen to me.  But the bigger question I have is why doesn't the American public care about these deaths? Every other human rights violation gets everyone in a tizzy. Stop slamming the parents for their kids' behavior and deaths and get this BS totally out in the open.

Mom

There are certain key words and phrases that give an insight to the mentality of program parents.

[Anonymous]

He was a willing participant in his treatment program, understood his disorder, and totally understood the necessity of his mom placing him there.  (Funny, his mother posted that he wanted to be there.) He was never abused while in this program, mom visited regularly, (mom said she visited 2 times in 4 months) and he had outside contact with family and friends where appropriate.  He was very outspoken about the rights of kids with disabilities, having been subjected to cruel bullying in public schools, made many friends while in treatment, and actually convinced several other kids to stop their self harm behavior with his heartfelt emotion over the loss of his dad last year.  He preferred the environment there over his public high school.

Anyone with actual useful information or documentaable proof about negligence about the innerworkings of the state of Utah in regards to reform in residential treatmemt programs and why criminal charges are rarely filed, lack of stiffer licensing and enforcement, etc should post this information so that the family can contact the appropriate high level officials and get effective action. These are not "disposable" kids, shame on those who bash the parents for being the problem instead of actively advocating for legislative change.  Get a life and get moving and do something responsible....This boys death is tragic, but let's all turn it into something positive for all the other troubled kids out there who have needs for alternative placememts.

A Sad Friend

So, did he want to be there or "understand the necessity"?

[Anonymous]

Guest posted the following comment:


"What a wonderful facility that met all my son's needs. Just loved visiting the place, watching my son succed, there. My son loved it there --until he died from medical neligence."

This post happens to be the awful truth about this industry.

I am a Mormon by faith, yet I am behind those of you who are up against this industry AND the Mormon's who think it's OK to abuse children in the name of therapy.  Not ALL Mormon's think the way those who are in support of these programs do.  I know, because I have talked to members of my own faith about this industry.  They are as shocked and outraged as I am.

There ARE already enough state to state regulations in place that SHOULD protect children.  But, in states like Utah, it appears to be legal to abuse 'children.'  In regard to the state to state regulations, I am for enforcing the laws.  Hold these people accountable with more than a slap on the wrist.

I learned of two laws that were already in place, the "Child Protection Act, and the ICPC (Interstate compact for the Placement of Children) after the death of my daughter.  I tried to hold the ICPC over the heads of the industry as they found a way around it.  I believe this industry is in need of National Legislation because when a program is shut down they all too often move their operation to another state where the laws are lax OR non-existent.

Meanwhile, I will encourage parents to find other alternatives, other than this industry, to help them with their 'child.'

Catherine