Group

[Anonymous]

Welcome back to group.

Please write a full page in detail about your daily struggles, emotional issues and any past experiences which hurt you deeply.

Then the rest of us can tell you what we think of you, any changes we think you need to make to your life, and any other criticism we deem appropriate.

Let's get started...

[Anonymous]

Don't be scared, everyone here is family and cares about you.

[Nihilanthic]

Welcome back to group.

Please write a full page in detail about your daily struggles, emotional issues and any past experiences which hurt you deeply.

Then the rest of us can tell you what we think of you, any changes we think I want you to make to your life, and any other criticism we deem appropriate.

Let's get started...

I hate dealing with idiots all day, and I hate it when the slutty ones hit on me and want to see me the next day at work... but I have the next few days off.

C'est la vie!

The truck I drive for work has no foot/leg room, and on top of it the steering wheel sticks out from the dash all of a millimeter, so I have to drive like a gorilla with long arms and stumpy legs. Or something. At least I have lumbar support in it, seems Chevy finally un-fucked that part of their interiors. Fucking Colorados.

I hate people who force disclosure on others as a means of getting into... using it against them to break them down and indoctrinate them.

I also hate how people self-victimize in similar ways without outside help (i.e. furries, people on second life, emos...) and make people with real problems look like the whiners the furries/RPers/emos are, and undermine any attempt to be critical about anything at all!

And, finally, my back hurts. I need a blow job and a back rub.

Yours truly,

Niles.

[psy]

I hate dealing with idiots all day, and I hate it when the slutty ones hit on me and want to see me the next day at work...

You have sexual issues.  You're projecting you know... You like it when they hit on you.  You're just a slut.  You just ne.ed to admit it to us.

The truck I drive for work has no foot/leg room, and on top of it the steering wheel sticks out from the dash all of a millimeter, so I have to drive like a gorilla with long arms and stumpy legs. Or something. At least I have lumbar support in it, seems Chevy finally un-fucked that part of their interiors. Fucking Colorados.

It sounds like you have entitlement issues.  Who entitled you to a comfy ride.  You're just a drama-queen pussy.  You should be happy you have a car.. Lots of druggie addicts like us don't have shit.  You're trying to make us feel bad?  Huh?  That's it!  You're bragging...  You ne.ed to get off your high horse.

I hate people who force disclosure on others as a means of getting into... using it against them to break them down and indoctrinate them.

Why are you trying to avoid dealing with your shit.  You have problems you know.  You wouldn't be here if you didn't.  You ne.ed this place, just like I do.  You're just afraid to look at yourself and find out who you really are.  It scares you doesn't it, being real... You want to keep on wearing your masks, hiding behind a wall of intellectualism... You rationalize, you think too much, you need to feel, and stop being so in your head...  You're afraid of who you really are, to be yourself, and you don't even know it.  You remind me of who I used to be, but I wasn't really that person.  It was just a lie to cover up my true self.  You ne.ed to take off that mask you wear.

I also hate how people self-victimize in similar ways without outside help (i.e. furries, people on second life, emos...) and make people with real problems look like the whiners the furries/RPers/emos are, and undermine any attempt to be critical about anything at all!

You're projecting again.  Such a fucking drama-queen.  You ne.ed to focus on your own issues son and stop caring about others.

And, finally, my back hurts. I need a blow job and a back rub.

You're now on bans with girls... and just to be safe, guys too.

[Ursus]

Your attitude sucks and you  need to be on work crew.  While you're there, think about what you will be writing during your time in Dean's area.  You  need to write at least ten pages of what you feel are problem areas in your life and how you propose to change these.  You will also need to detail your relationship with your parents so that we can organize some special sessions when your parents are here during the upcoming Parents Weekend.

We want to know about your roommates.  How did they let you get away with this shoddy attitude for so long and not inform us?  What nefarious secrets are you all hiding that you have been in cahoots for so long?  Fess up, buddy!  You know we will find out sooner or later, and it'll be worse for you if we find out from one of your "friends!"  You know they really aren't your real friends, otherwise they would have cared enough about you to act as their "brother's keeper."  

"Truth over Harmony," boy!  Give us the dirt!  We know it's hard, but you will feel so much better afterwards that you had the courage to bite the bullet.

While we're at it, let's talk about how you've been doing in sports.  If your back hurts, then you haven't been trying hard enough.  Maybe an 8 mile run "around the block" carrying bricks in each hand will clear that up.  Be honest with yourself.  You really haven't been giving it the old 125%, have you?  You  need to do some extra time to make up for your slacker attitude.  5:30AM for the next two weeks.  We expect at least 5 miles/day prior to breakfast.

Oh, yeah, we know about your girlfriend!  She fessed up when one of her roommates expressed concern over the two of you spending too much time together.  You know there is no sex at Hyde.  But, don't you worry about her, she has her own challenges to face.  We will be discussing her promiscuous behavior in school meeting.  The student body has already been informed of her transgressions with our version of the events.  I'm sure a lot of people will have something to say about how Hyde's principles have been compromised and how she has let everyone down by failing to live up to our high standards, which we hold everyone up to equally.  We would like to discuss you as well, but I'm afraid your father has donated a bit much to our already healthy alumni fund.  Nevertheless, both of you will be walking around wearing sign boards stating your respective guilts.

Measurements taken of your girlfriend's body parts whilst standing in her underwear indicate that she has too much FAT, so she is on diet restrictions as well as everything else.  The headmaster particularly likes this part of his job, he came up with the idea on his own.  He really believes in doing his part in addressing this nation's epidemic of obesity, as detailed in Time Magazine.  I'm sure that you will see her when you are both in Dean's area writing up your stories, and I hope you will both think of how deeply you have disappointed the school and let everyone down who cares so much about you.

[Anonymous]

I hate dealing with idiots all day, and I hate it when the slutty ones hit on me and want to see me the next day at work...

You have sexual issues.  You're projecting you know... You like it when they hit on you.  You're just a slut.  You just ne.ed to admit it to us.

The truck I drive for work has no foot/leg room, and on top of it the steering wheel sticks out from the dash all of a millimeter, so I have to drive like a gorilla with long arms and stumpy legs. Or something. At least I have lumbar support in it, seems Chevy finally un-fucked that part of their interiors. Fucking Colorados.

It sounds like you have entitlement issues.  Who entitled you to a comfy ride.  You're just a drama-queen pussy.  You should be happy you have a car.. Lots of druggie addicts like us don't have shit.  You're trying to make us feel bad?  Huh?  That's it!  You're bragging...  You ne.ed to get off your high horse.

I hate people who force disclosure on others as a means of getting into... using it against them to break them down and indoctrinate them.

Why are you trying to avoid dealing with your shit.  You have problems you know.  You wouldn't be here if you didn't.  You ne.ed this place, just like I do.  You're just afraid to look at yourself and find out who you really are.  It scares you doesn't it, being real... You want to keep on wearing your masks, hiding behind a wall of intellectualism... You rationalize, you think too much, I want you to feel, and stop being so in your head...  You're afraid of who you really are, to be yourself, and you don't even know it.  You remind me of who I used to be, but I wasn't really that person.  It was just a lie to cover up my true self.  You ne.ed to take off that mask you wear.

I also hate how people self-victimize in similar ways without outside help (i.e. furries, people on second life, emos...) and make people with real problems look like the whiners the furries/RPers/emos are, and undermine any attempt to be critical about anything at all!

You're projecting again.  Such a fucking drama-queen.  You ne.ed to focus on your own issues son and stop caring about others.

And, finally, my back hurts. I need a blow job and a back rub.

You're now on bans with girls... and just to be safe, guys too.

You're really good at that! Freaky how different programs are so alike!

[Anonymous]

You all complain way too much, let me call the whambulance!!!

Take a look at yourselves, take a good, long, hard look and ask yourself, is this where I wanted to be in life at this age? Think back when you were a young child, is this the place in life you thought you would be?

You are exactly where you want to be, and deserve to be. There is no right or wrong. There are no accidents. You are exactly where you choose to be. If you aren't happy with it, step left, and pick something else.

You ended up in a program because you wanted to be here.

It's not your parents.

Or drugs.

Or because you were abused as a child.

You are here because one reason, you CHOSE to be.

No, no, shut up. I don't want to hear it. I don't care if you were escorted here by five grown men, you came here willingly because of your actions. If you didn't want to be in a program, you wouldn't have acted out the way you did.

On some level, you were destined to be here through your own action or inaction. That is alright, because we are here to help you.

Yes, it's okay to cry. Cry it all out, let all the bad energy out and scream at the top of your lungs if that helps.

Yes.. wonderful.

Now tell me why you are here!

Yes, finally you are starting to get it. You are here because you CHOSE to be.

Now we are getting somewhere.

Now, tell me why you deserve your parents love.

No, you don't just get it anymore. They sent you here because they are threw with you, don't you get it? Are they here to protect you? No. Are they here to save you? No. They gave you to me because they want you to be different, a better, behaved, and respectful young person. Until you prove to them and me that is what you have become, you are not going anywhere.

I don't care if you send them letters. They don't care about you anymore so long as you remain the way you are. They wrote you off like last years taxes, kid.

It's okay to cry, let it all out.

Who will love you?

Well kid, i am glad you asked. I will love you.

[psy]

You all complain way too much, let me call the whambulance!!!

Take a look at yourselves, take a good, long, hard look and ask yourself, is this where I wanted to be in life at this age? Think back when you were a young child, is this the place in life you thought you would be?

You are exactly where you want to be, and deserve to be. There is no right or wrong. There are no accidents. You are exactly where you choose to be. If you aren't happy with it, step left, and pick something else.

You ended up in a program because you wanted to be here.

It's not your parents.

Or drugs.

Or because you were abused as a child.

You are here because one reason, you CHOSE to be.

No, no, shut up. I don't want to hear it. I don't care if you were escorted here by five grown men, you came here willingly because of your actions. If you didn't want to be in a program, you wouldn't have acted out the way you did.

On some level, you were destined to be here through your own action or inaction. That is alright, because we are here to help you.

Yes, it's okay to cry. Cry it all out, let all the bad energy out and scream at the top of your lungs if that helps.

Yes.. wonderful.

Now tell me why you are here!

Yes, finally you are starting to get it. You are here because you CHOSE to be.

Now we are getting somewhere.

Now, tell me why you deserve your parents love.

No, you don't just get it anymore. They sent you here because they are threw with you, don't you get it? Are they here to protect you? No. Are they here to save you? No. They gave you to me because they want you to be different, a better, behaved, and respectful young person. Until you prove to them and me that is what you have become, you are not going anywhere.

I don't care if you send them letters. They don't care about you anymore so long as you remain the way you are. They wrote you off like last years taxes, kid.

It's okay to cry, let it all out.

Who will love you?

Well kid, i am glad you asked. I will love you.

Chilling...  Almost verbatim.  Best fornits post ever.  Exactly how they did it too..  I would bet a former staffer wrote this... either that or a survivor with an extrodinary memory..... and an extreme tolerance for digging shit up.

you forgot the "you ne.ed to start making better choices... and we can help you, but you ne.ed to take the first step and ______ (fill in the blank)"

[Anonymous]

What would Dr. Phil say?

[Anonymous]

He'd say shut the fuck up, it's time you listen. You've been running your mouth long enough, kid. Your parents have had enough, so it's time you are going to be listening now, ya hear?

Good. I hear your voice one more time and you spend the rest of Group in the closet. You think I'm kidding? Try me. Give me a reason. I  want to show you how serious I am.

That's better.

I need you all to pull out a piece of paper.

On the top write your name, group session number and the time.

Good.

Now I want you to write on this paper. This is a timed exercise. You will only have fifteen minutes and you must completely cover the front and back of this sheet of paper otherwise you will not be included in the final part and be excluded.

As we get started I need you to relax. Close your eyes. Imagine the most pleasurable moment in your life. You are there now. Isn't it wonderful? Surround yourself with this feeling. Embrace it like a warm blanket on a cold winter night. Comfort yourself with this blanket. Wrap yourself in it. Good. You feel warm. You feel tired. You are comfortable in your blanket.

Now I want you to think about what you are going to write. Don't think about grammar or spelling or pass or fail, this is about you. There is no right or wrong in this exercise. What we are doing is freeing your soul from grungies, which is another name for festering and bad thoughts from your past. It's time to let go and wrap ourselves in the blanket and discard the rest.

Embrace your blanket, hold it around your shoulders, wrap it around your face if necessary. Don't be embarrassed, the lights are dim and everyone's eyes are closed, nobody can see you. It's okay if you cry, let it out. Feel the embrace of your warm blanket of joyous memories, use this as your anchor for the journey we are about to take.

I need you to begin thinking of the exact opposite feelings associated with your blanket. This is what we are going to write about. We are going to release all the bad memories, and grungies from our past tonight.

Don't be afraid.

Your blanket will protect you, I promise. This is what allows us to look deep and help expose the hidden grungies, the hardest things to let go of. We are letting go of our old selves and helping to build a more comfortable vessel to continue our journey through life.

As you open your eyes, don't think, just begin to write. Write about the first memory you had as a child when you felt deep sadness and what it was like. Write about your family and the problems that led to them sending you here. Write about everything that keeps you up at night. This is it , folks. This is when we are releasing all our pent up grungies. It's time to let go. Let it go.

Now.

Open your eyes. Pick up your pencils. Write.

[Nihilanthic]

I think a performance art version of this thread would be a great way to explain how fucked up a program is, granted we can stay in character and not laugh our asses off at eachother.

I was expecting comedy moreso than serious business, but again, so what?

BTW, my back still hurts, and thats odd, becuase most of my height is in my legs!

[Nihilanthic]

Hi, I'm Niles, and I'm... uh, a little bit of everything!

So, haven't talked to "THE GROUP" in a while, just wanted to make an update.

I LOVE beer. I really love it. Hoppy, malty, balanced, unbalanced beers... I even got some delerium tremens! I heard something by that name lead a man to see god and start AA... isn't that wonderful?

The pink elephants are so cute too.

Oh, and I met a cute blonde chick at the specialty store I get my brews from, talked to her, and I'm getting her to try the good stuff... should she come to group too?

Also, I tend to like "pear" figures more than "apple" ones but she pulls off the apple sort of more tits than ass look alright... but does that indicate some sort of personality disorder?

And, finally, I think everyone who drives too fast in traffic is a fucking lunatic, and everyone slower than me is a fucking retard.

Thats all!

I LOVE YOU GROUP! <3