"Great news mam'm, your son finally started being honest. Yes we're thrilled about it as well. It really shows marked marked improvement? What's that you ask? What did he decide to be honest about? Well.......promise not to be mad okay? You see a couple times over the past couple of weeks your son decided to be a little trickster and pretend to be sick. Every time he did we slapped his belly and made him punch himself in the face to see if he was telling the truth, and he never was! We'll anyway today we go on this quick little walk right? What's that? Oh it was 11 miles I think, no big deal anyw...what's that? Ummmm 110 degrees I think. I dont know really I was following behind in a car. So anyway we get back and like the little jokester he is he decides to sit down by the tree and start snoring. Well we were certain he was faking even after he started vomitting and eating dirt. I mean what kid doesnt right? So anyway I decide this time I'll get him, I rounded all the kids up and sent them along, then I crept back and hide in the bushes waiting for him to get up, cause I knew he was faking. So i stake out a good spot behind some bushes and waited a good 45 minutes. When I saw the blood trickling out of his ear that's really when my professional training kicked in and I did everything I could to save him! Sorry though, your kid is dead. But hey, at least he was honest about something right. When he kept begging me for water he was finally telling the truth. Every cloud has a silver lining right? Hey youre not gonna tell on us or nothing are you?"