One, I don't believe that parent exists--I believe it's a troll.
Hey, dumbass troll---if a kid has "graduated from high school" last June then he's a legal adult---which means a real parent couldn't pull that Program garbage on him.
If, hypothetically, such a parent really existed and wasn't a dumbass troll, then the question really is: What do you do with your grown up offspring who won't work, expects you to support him, shows no signs of moving out, and throws tantrums to get his way--including getting you to buy him stuff.
Read Martha Stout's "The Sociopath Next Door." One in twenty-five people has no conscience and can and will do anything at all to get what they want without the slightest twinge of remorse or regret.
The only difference, in that respect, between the serial killer, the sleazebag white-collar corrupt executive, the vindictive backstabbing bully, and the freeloading bum is what each subtype of no-conscience person wants.
The killer wants violence, the sleazy corporate exec wants money and power, the vindictive bully wants to take people he envies down a peg, and the freeloading bum wants to get by in life doing as little work as possible with other people doing as much of it for him as possible.
Sometimes, you can do everything right as a parent and still raise one of those one in twenty-five people who has no conscience. If you do a bunch wrong as a parent and your kid has the wrong genes, you can also end up with one of those one in twenty-five people who has no conscience being your adult offspring.
It sucks, but if it happens to you, you have to cope by putting that adult's problems back on him, not you.
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If that post was by a real parent and not a troll, we wouldn't be talking about a garden-variety pain in the butt teen, we would be talking about an adult freeloading bum.
What you do when your adult offspring is a freeloading bum who won't leave your house is you go through formal eviction proceedings (which is the only legal way to force someone out of your home if they have noplace else to go). Instead of sticking his stuff on the curb, you stick it in a U-store-it facility paid up for three months, you hand him the key, and you hand him $500 (or what you can afford). Then you tell him he's his own problem and isn't getting another dime from you.
You don't cut off social contact. You meet him every once in awhile for lunch at Micky-D's if he wants to get together. You also tell him that he gets no money, but that he gets as much advice as he chooses to ask for.
You tell him he's a grown up, and that while you love him, it's time for him to take responsibility for himself and live his own life.
Sure, a good-for-nothing bum is going to pull all kinds of emotional strings and throw out all kinds of recriminations, etc.
But if you raise an adult bum, then that's the only way you can really deal with it, and the sooner the better.
If he's one of those one in twenty-five with no conscience, then after he finds out you really mean it, he will probably cut you out of his life so he can tell new victims a fabricated sob story to sucker them into supporting him.
Programs won't fix a bum. If somebody has no conscience, there's nothing you can do to give him one.
Adults who aren't bums will, if set free (in a realistic way), cope on their own.
Unless they're genuinely disabled, in which case you go through Social Security and all that.
If my parents had turned me loose with $500, my clothes, and my stuff in a storage facility, I wouldn't have been on easy street, but I would have been able to cope without turning to prostitution or drugs or whatever.
There's nothing wrong with kicking an adult out of your house---there are, however, better and worse ways of doing it.
Julie
