I feel so blessed to have found this site and not a minute too soon. I deeply appreciate the opportunity to ask for advice from parents that, obviously, love their children enough to make tough choices for them. Here is my situation: My 16-year-old daughter has been getting more and more defiant regarding her independance. As a general rule, she is not disrespectful to other adults and, in fact, her teachers and friend's parents state that she is very sweet and cooperative. Her grades have declined over the last two years and it is evident that she doesn't have the self-motivation or discipline to make herself do what it takes to be successful. She is diagnosed as borderline ADHD and takes Adderall during the school year. I suspect that she has experimented with drugs and has become sexually active. Her father and I are divorced and we know that she has stolen money from him and used his credit card without authorization. She elected to work instead of going on vacation and so her grandmother came to stay with her. During that time, she said she was going to work but did come home after work. She returned the following morning at 7:30 a.m. We learned that she had been discharged from her job because it was believed that she had padded her tip on a customer's credit card and there is information to support that it was not the first time. She lied about her whereabouts which is no surprise because she lies about most things, even when the truth is obvious. We sent her to a wilderness program. At first, the letters from her begged that we bring her home, stating that she had learned her lesson and would never pull these kinds of stunts ever again. Now, the letters are very encouraging in that she states that everything is going to be okay and she has felt some happiness at some of the wilderness program accomplishments and has discovered personal spirituality. She said she still wants to come home soon and asks for the opportunity to graduate as soon as it is permitted.
My question is this: From everything I have read, there doesn't seem to be many examples of teens that are so effected by wilderness programs that no other intervention is needed, yes? Is there any chance that this has served as a significant "wake-up" call and she might be able to get her life back onto a successful path without attending a TBS? If it is necessary for her therapy to continue, what type of program should I seek?
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I know it's long but it's my first communication and I think I needed to state it. Any advice is appreciated.
Stacy
