"Kristin Smith" <kristins@boydinsurance.com>
Date: Mon, Feb 02, 2009 12:37 pm
I think that a program as tough as Tranquility Bay is not for all kids. I think some parents over-react to dealing with their teens, and look for an easy way out by sending them to a “program”. A teen should not be considered for a residential program until all other options have been exhausted.
That being said, I will be ever grateful to Tranquility Bay for saving my son’s life. By the time I came to the decision to send him, he was on the edge of turning up dead, either because of the drugs he was doing, the crimes he was pulling, or the crowd of “friends” he had chosen. We had been through private counseling, court mandated counseling and programs, working with several mentors from our church, etc. etc. It was the most heartbreaking decision and process I have ever experience in my life. The only thing I could imagine to be more painful would be the death of a child.
Was it a tough program, ABSOLUTELY!!!! Nothing but tough would get through to him. Yes, the boys heads were shaved and they wore ugly brown uniforms. They walked single file heel to toe in silence. The food was certainly not what they were used to at home. They slept on thin mattresses on plywood “bunks”. There was no air conditioning or hot water. They washed their clothes by hand, took showers outdoors and were not allowed to look out the windows during class time. No looking at the girls, either until they showed the maturity to reach the higher levels. Did the employees ever have to get physical with the kids? Quite possibly. It did not happen with my son, but when kids as wayward as these get out of control, they are not going to stop their behavior because someone asks them to stop. It’s going to take adults physically removing them from where they are being disruptive and isolating them until they can control themselves (OP).
They had strict rules to follow, and the slightest variance from those rules cost them points. The privileges they had so taken for granted and abused at home now had to be earned before being enjoyed. As they learned this, they gained privileges. And when they realized how hard they had to work for them, they expected the others to have to work just as hard. What a great work ethic they gained.
And the seminars, what POWERFUL, POWERFUL seminars! I saw parents who came in completely closed to any sort of change or growth in their lives, and they opted out either during the 1st one, or after finishing only one. But for those who are open minded enough to realize that change and growth occur throughout our lifetimes, these seminars were incredible. How shallow minded and insecure for anyone to refer to these as “brainwashing”.
My son graduated the program, it took him 16 months. He turned 18 while there, and decided to stay and complete the program. Yes, we had to be tough and insist on completion. To leave at 18, for us, meant that we would fly him back home, but he would have to make it on his own. It was up to every parent to design their own exit plan for their child if they chose to leave before completion, and we were encouraged to make it only as tough as what we could enforce. The decision of parents ranged from coming back home with minimal rules, to being as tough as ours. Let it be known, also, that it was never an option to not provide transportation back to the States, that was mandatory.
My son is now 23. We’ve attended 3 funerals for his “friends” since he’s been home. The parents of those kids were ones who criticized me for making such a drastic decision to send my son away. It wasn’t smooth sailing after he came home. He was glad to be home and swore he would never set foot in Jamaica again. He did well for about the 1st year, and then fell back into old habits. Because of what I learned as a parent of the program, I was able to stand strong and without any kind of anger or bitterness, tell him it was time for him to make it on his own. He chose a tough road and he was angry for awhile. But now, at 23, he is doing well, knows he has the strength and abilities to overcome the obstacles of life. He has goals and aspirations for himself. He just asked me the other day if I thought Tranquility Bay was still there. I told him I thought it probably was, and he said he’d like to go back and visit it. He’d like to see Mrs. Gordon and Jay Kay. That’s what made me google it and how I came across your website.
I hope that in your fervor to be a champion of what you see as abuse, you do not destroy all opportunities for programs that truly do help the really tough cases, because that life, the life of my son and others like him, is worth too much.
Kristin D. Smith, AAI
Vice President-Client Relations
Boyd Insurance & Investment Services, Inc.
717 Manatee Avenue West #300
Bradenton, FL 34205
Phone: 941-745-8300 Fax: 941-745-2571
http://www.boydinsurance.com :wall:
