Old Hyde Student 1973
I have been lurking on this site for some time now trying to get a feeling for what has been occurring at The Hyde School since I attended from the summer of 1971 through graduation 1973 (High School Diploma, not Hyde School Diploma). I have been struggling with my feelings about the school. I have been trying to conjure up my past, taking into account that all of my experiences there were not negative. I have come to the conclusion that the years have changed but the place is still as poisonous as ever.
It was my decision to attend The Hyde School mostly to get away from a smothering situation at home. I was your typical academic underachiever, labeled by the public school as having above average intelligence but extremely immature and lazy. I was getting into more and more trouble at the public school for minor infractions, such as smoking cigarettes and not handing in homework. Up until that time I had not done any illegal drugs and had only a few experiences with alcohol. I wanted a fresh start away from the labels I had been given at the public school. I did have many non-academic interests including piloting small aircraft, playing guitar formal lessons, camping, hiking, and fishing. Not much into organized sports and not a joiner.
My experience with The Hyde School started in the summer of 1971, I had a really great time during that summer doing what I liked to do hiking, camping, rowing dory?s etc.. During that summer there were your typical Hyde ?Busts & Purges?, runaways and challenges to ones abilities, trying to expand beyond ones comfort zone. In short, learning the ?Hyde Way?, not a bad thing. I decided to return for the regular session fall of 1972.
My first year at the school I don?t recall to much conflict between myself and the ?Hyde Way?, I don?t think I was flying under the radar, some may disagree, I was just trying to achieve what I needed to do and then move on with my life. Trying to learn what I thought were some good fundamental ways to live life. Of course ?Seminar? was something that I and no one looked forward to but I was never abruptly confronted or asked to reveal anything I didn?t feel comfortable with. I viewed Joe Gauld as someone who had my best interests at heart and someone I could confide in. As we all learned ?Joe? did have his own way of dealing with student issues but I felt at the time that if you have two hundred children with different levels of problems and parents who never dealt with the problems then his sometimes abrupt ways were understandable.
I returned for my senior year in the fall 1973, more responsibility, and more expectations. This is the year I witnessed things and experienced things that made me question the methods of the Hyde School and I believe negatively impacted on my life. I had witnessed questionable forms of punishment my first year but at that time I dismissed it as a process that I did not fully yet understand and felt it was probably necessary for the ultimate benefit of the recipient.
As I gained more experience with the ?Hyde Method? I began to see these forms of punishment as sadistic and having no merit in the development of a student. I personally witnessed and participated in the approved shaving of student?s heads. Students being forced to wear dog collars and lead around campus on a leash. The ?Cool Hand Luke? method to get a students ?Mind Right? of repeatedly digging and filling in of ones own grave until exhaustion and submission was ultimately achieved. Endless work crews, sleep depravation until students broke down in gasping tears. I saw little improvement by the students that these punishments were inflicted upon, in fact most ended up leaving the school and if there was an improvement it wasn?t a real ?break through? in the students development it was only a pavlovian response so as not to repeat the horror.
The abuse was not limited to the student body. There were two incidents involving teachers that to this day I can?t believe were not only allowed but encouraged. One involved a teacher by the name of Larry Prey who was a real nice guy, very supportive of me but kind of quirky which left him wide open for criticism. He was forced to stand in front of the entire student body and reveal his very private and personal marital transgressions with another women enduring the judgments and ridicule of two hundred savage teenagers. Another involved the crucifixion of a teacher by the name of Mr. French whose only transgression was that he didn?t fit the definition of what we felt was the hip young teacher. He was forced to stand in front of the student body and receive his brutal punishment of unfettered ridicule. To this day I sometimes lay awake at night and shudder at the thought of those teachers faces as these incidents took place.
The incident that scarred me, still haunts me today and that I kept buried for many years involved a younger student and friend. This student who trusted me, was accused of stealing money and would not admit to his supposed guilt. I was given total control of this student to break him and ultimately obtain a confession of guilt. I was seventeen years old, immature for my years with no experience in dealing with this kind of issue. I was given no counseling as to how to proceed, no methodologies, no boundaries of conduct were given. He was forbidden to attend any classes, sports activities or have any contact with other students. He was not to leave my sight. My only instructions were to break him. His head was shaven and a dog collar and leash applied. I must apologize I was given two methodologies one was to force him to sleep next to me on a hard cold wooden floor with no bedding of any kind clothed only his underwear. The other was if he protested he was to receive a cold shower. I can?t remember all of the sanctioned brutality that was inflicted upon this student but it was intensive and complete. I remember once when he was given a cold shower that the water was so frigid that his lips turned blue I became afraid and told him he could get out and warm up. My mind was in total conflict I couldn?t continue this anymore, but I also believed that he needed to confess in order to be ?Saved?. I finally told Joe Gauld that this was of no use he was not going to confess and that I could not continue with this. The student left the school and went home. For many years after leaving the Hyde school myself, I would wake up at night in a cold sweat, having dreamed about what I did and the harm I must have caused to this then child.
As the end of my senior year approach we had what I remember as some sort of review of our progress to determine if graduation with a ?Hyde Degree? was to be obtained that year. I was told that I had not made significant progress because the ?Big? senior history paper I had written and required by Ed Legg for graduation was of poor quality and not up to college standards. Interestingly enough I don?t remember any classes being given that addressed the proper way to write a term paper. I was also told that I had not confronted enough of my personal issues to graduate with a ?Hyde Degree? and that they recommended that I return for another year. Well I told them that I didn?t agree and would not be returning for another year at a school that I felt had deteriorated into some sort of gulag. I also remember having the distinct feeling that they liked my father?s money a little too much. So off I went into the world with an expensive standard High School Degree and some knowledge of how to live my life based on the Hyde School Principals.
Well my life became a nightmare, insomnia, constant bad dreams of my experiences at the school, inability to cope in social situations, lack of focus, deep feelings of guilt. I succumbed to alcohol and drug abuse, I self medicated to hide these feelings and ultimately flunked out of college after only one semester. My life became a misery for an entire decade, I cannot blame all of it on The Hyde School, some of it was my own immaturity but I later learned that the blinding binges of drugs and alcohol were deffiently related to what I had witnessed and participated in at the school.
My life did turn out to be good and worth living I straightened out my substance abuse problems not needing any Rehabilitation Center, I just decided enough was enough and stopped. I met the girl of my dreams have been married for over twenty years, have a wonderful son, a good job and am looking forward to the rest of my life. Funny thing is I don?t attribute much of the good part of my life to The Hyde School, I probably just needed to forgive myself, come to terms with who I am, deal with my short comings, grow up and get on with it, which was my intension from the very beginning of this long strange trip called life.
