Having recently done an LGAT "Basic" course I thought I would take the opportunity to write about the experience. LGAT stands for Large Group Awareness Training. Most of these have their roots in a course called "Mind Dynamics" which was taught in California in the late 60s and early 70s. From this came the two largest LGATs; est/WEA/Landmark Forum founded by Werner Erhardt, and Lifespring founded by John Hanley. Other LGATs include Insight Seminars, Actualizations, PSI World and many other smaller trainings which basically use a similar process.
An LGAT experience can be summarized as following a three step pattern.
1) Psychological breakdown/opening up the subconscious mind.
2) Catharsis or the releasing of repressed emotions usually caused by traumatic childhood events.
3) A rebirthing or psychological buildup with processes designed to make participants feel good about themselves, the trainer and the course.
The training I experienced was developed by a former Lifespring trainer who I assume decided there was more money to be made by doing it on their own. The course had other Lifespring graduates on the staff. Based on what I have read about Lifespring I conclude that the processes used are nearly identical to that used in Lifespring training. These processes are not proprietary and can be found in a variety of books. For the most part I can document just about every process or a variation thereof used in the training.
DAY 1, Thursday evening. Agree or Else
The participants sign an agreement which includes non-disclosure of the processes used. It is my understanding that mental/therapeutic processess are not proprietary, and cannot be covered by patent, copyright or trade secret laws and thus violating nondisclosure cannot hold up in court. I will refrain from mentioning the name of the specific training I experienced and any process used in the training that cannot be documented elsewhere.
Dr. Margaret Singer writes about LGATs in her book, "Cults in Our Midst".
"The program trainers and leaders typically get agreement from participants that they will not tell anyone about the processes that occur. To do so "will spoil it for your friends, family, co-workers etc, when they take the course. Tell them what you got out of it trainers advise. This means be vague about the actual content and provide glowing endorsements telling others that the training turned your life around but do not tell them how emotional, dramatic, confrontational, and unnerving the sessions can be for some people. Because of this promise, consumers who buy and attend these seminars do so without information about how psychologically, socially, and sometimes physically stressing the event can be.
Day one is usually devoted to demonstrating the leader's absolute authority. The leader, or trainer immediately takes control of the setting with a demeanor that suggests he is a powerful, in-charge person and no one is to challenge what he says. He remains totally in charge, acts knowledgeable, and is practiced in verbal skills so that he never loses an encounter. Anyone who challenges the trainer will be humiliated and verbally mashed."
The first day started Thursday evening around 7. After some introductory stuff welcoming people, etc. the trainer brings up *THE AGREEMENT*. The attitude and tone of voice of the trainer predictably becomes stern and unyielding in a way to purposely provoke a response from the attendees.
Course Agreements.
1. Maintain absolute confidentiality of anything anyone else experiences or shares in the seminar. Do not discuss
or disclose any of the processes or exercises anyone who has not experienced the seminar.
2. Attend the entire seminar including the Tuesday follow-up session.
3. Be on time. Be seated by the time the music ends.
4. Use no mind altering substances for the entire course including the entire day and all evening sessions. All medications prescribed by a doctor are to be taken as directed.
5. Do all the processes, exercises and assignments.
6. Follow Instructions
7. Leave the room only at break time.
8. No sitting next to someone you knew prior to seminar.
9. Do not eat, chew gum, or drink beverages while in the training room.
10. Be responsible for your own health and well being. Get sufficient food and sleep during the seminar.
The first point brought up is about not revealing the processes or personal information that is shared. Since people will be sharing some very deep personal secrets then this is common sense but people do not know this in advance. The processes are not unique to the course and not proprietary but people do not know this.
The second point was about attending all the course including the followup session and also being on time. Several people objected to this stating they had other commitments family or otherwise. There were some people from out of town who could not make the next Tuesday evening followup.
Everyone of them was was met with unyielding harshness from the trainer. One of the arguments the trainer makes was if they would only "get it" they could make the space for the course in their schedule and "getting it" would also keep others from interrupting their attendance. "Getting it", of course means that we create our own reality or experience by our thinking and interpretation. However, this is not explained at this point and is designed only to provoke more responses from attendees. Several people storm out of the room. However there are ample staff people to handle those who leave. Outside, people are pressured by the staff to return to the course. Most end up coming back in the room while a few never return.
Psychologically what is taking place is bringing up people's "resistances" so that they may be brought into awareness. Another interpretation is to assert the dominance of the trainer thereby subjugating the will of the individuals.
Other rules include not talking unless called upon, not sitting next to anyone you knew prior to the training, no eating, drinking, gum chewing, etc. Some people saw fit to argue with that. At this point the show begins to get quite boring as it had been about 3 hours that we were in the ballroom. At least we were allowed potty breaks as needed so I took one. When I got back the trainer was finishing up the agreements and we were asked to stand if we agreed. So we did. By this time everyone knew that it was pointless to argue with the trainer. Also people had paid several hundred dollars each to attend which would be forfeited if they left. Therefore there was little choice but to stand if one wanted to stay.
Then we were allowed a 20 minute break. We were reminded to be in our seats (precisely arranged and marked with tape on the floor) on time for the next part.
When we come back there is lecture which include some of the basic philosophy/pop psychology of LGATs. One can certainly read about the philosophy in John Hanley's book, Lifespring available from Lifespring (
www.lifespringinc.com)
Later we were asked to pair off into a dyad (one on one exercises). What we did was an awareness exercise of staring into the other persons eyes in silence for several minutes. Then we were asked to introduce ourselves and have a conversation. At the end of the exercise we were guided to close our eyes and remind ourselves of how we behaved in the exercise, did we open up and share or did we talk superficially.
Then we did "The Trust Exercise". This consists of milling around the room, looking people in the eyes for a minute and stating one of only three things.
1) I trust you.
2) I don't trust you.
3) I don't know if I trust you.
This goes on for ten or fifteen minutes. At the end we were again instructed to close our eyes and review what we did from the vantage point of being above the crowd. Let me point out that there is a lot of closed eye guided exercises in these courses. By closing your eyes and going within one usually enters an alpha or hypnotic state and is much more suggestible then normal.
These courses also use popular music to set the mood. After the trust process we were instructed to sit on the floor and we listened to Jackson Browne's "The Pretender".
THE PRETENDER
I'm going to rent myself a house
In the shade of the freeway
I'm going to pack my lunch in the morning
And go to work each day
And when the evening rolls around
I'll go on home and lay my body down
And when the morning light comes streaming in
I'll get up and do it again
Amen
Say it again
Amen
I want to know what became of the changes
We waited for love to bring
Were they only the fitful dreams
Of some greater awakening
I've been aware of the time going by
They say in the end it's the wink of an eye
And when the morning light comes streaming in
You'll get up and do it again
Amen
Caught between the longing for love
And the struggle for the legal tender
Where the sirens sing and the church bells ring
And the junk man pounds his fender
Where the veterans dream of the fight
Fast asleep at the traffic light
And the children solemnly wait
For the ice cream vendor
Out into the cool of the evening
Strolls the Pretender
He knows that all his hopes and dreams
Begin and end there
Ah the laughter of the lovers
As they run through the night
Leaving nothing for the others
But to choose off and fight
And tear at the world with all their might
While the ships bearing their dreams
Sail out of sight
I'm going to find myself a girl
Who can show me what laughter means
And we'll fill in the missing colors
In each other's paint-by-number dreams
And then we'll put our dark glasses on
And we'll make love until our strength is gone
And when the morning light comes streaming in
We'll get up and do it again
Get it up again
I'm going to be a happy idiot
And struggle for the legal tender
Where the ads take aim and lay their claim
To the heart and the soul of the spender
And believe in whatever may lie
In those things that money can buy
Thought true love could have been a contender
Are you there?
Say a prayer for the Pretender
Who started out so young and strong
Only to surrender
(c) 1976 SWALLOW TURN MUSIC
(You can get the lyrics to damn near anything off the web :-)
During the song the trainer periodically lowers the volume and instructs people to focus on their inauthentic, pretending behaviors. The tone of the trainer's voice is negative and rebuking like we are worthless pitiful pretending creatures. "Are you there? Or are you just pretending." In my conscious mind I am somewhat amused by all of this. In my subconscious I can feel awareness of all my senses increasing. One cannot resist the psychological opening that occurs in these courses. After the exercises the group has to rearrange the chairs to the tape on the floor. The group is timed and encouraged to beat the previous time. This is just another way to get the group to respond to the trainer on demand. By this point nobody resists the trainer. After this it is 1 AM and time to go home being reminded to be there the next night at 7. If people go to work the next day which I did, it makes for a night of very little sleep.
Day 2 Friday Evening - Psychological Breakdown
The second evening starts again at 7 P.M. By this time the class is trained to get to their seats when a particular piece of music is played. The agreement is to be in your seat and ready to begin when the music ends.
However the highway department closed a major interstate into the city resulting in a major traffic jam that caused several people to be late, myself included. This must be a trainer's dream come true. One by one people were ordered to stand up and explain why they were late. No excuse was accepted. Everyone was personally humiliated and made to admit total responsibility for being late often revealing other patterns in their life where they were supposedly irresponsible. This often brought people to tears.
Dr. Singer writes in "Cults in Our Midst"
"Having observed a number of LGATs and having interviewed many persons who attended variants of these programs as part of their work assignments, I am astonished at the gross childishness and unkindness of humiliating anyone under the guise of education, experiential learning, or the claim that participation in such travesties enhances work performance. Nor do all participants find sessions of "sharing" personal details helpful."
Because I was late too I got "called to task" for breaking the agreement. Since I knew how that stupid game is played it irritated me. The trainer was trying to get me to admit breaking the agreement and I said "that is your context not mine". The trainer hollered at me some more about having an agreement with everyone to be on time and finally I said "OK, I broke the agreement" and sat down. The trainer ordered me to stand up I said "No, I decide to sit". The trainer ordered
me again and I said "I decide". So the trainer said "well just leave then". So I got up and left (my mistake, Doh!). See how the trainer wins every encounter?
Of course then the "handling" begins. When people get pissed off and walk out the door there is a staff member outside to "handle" you. I bitched a bit about it being all too predictable and that I didn't want to be right about this course but looks like I am anyway. I brought out the copy of Singer's chapter on LGATs and started quoting it to the handler. I also
made comments like "How come every sentence you say starts with 'Are you open to the possibility...'" Finally I said just leave me alone for a few minutes and I sat and cleared away ALL the anger I was feeling using meditation. Then I really had fun with the handler.
The handler asked me to come back in the course. I said "Hey, the trainer asked me to leave. Guess I'm not welcome in the course."
The handler says "What would it take to get you to come back in the room?"
I said "An Invitation".
"Well, I invite you to come back in"
I said "From the trainer"
She said "Well, I'm on the staff and I invite you back in"
I said "Let me get a glass of water and think about it."
So I hung out for about 15 minutes purposely having fun with that handler. I even made her open the door and hold it for me going back in.
When I got back in the trainer was in the middle of another one of those fast paced lectures showing all the negative things in people's life and how it keeps them isolated from the possibilities outside their box.
Then the awareness exercises begin again; dyads, open body posture, closed-eye reflections etc.
The victim game: Tell your partner a story about which you think you were a victim. Then your partner tells you one. After this the trainer instructs you to retell your story from the point of view that you were responsible
and admitting your role in what happened.
They made me do it: This process involves stating as fast as you can things you were *made* to do. My mom made me clean my room. The IRS made me pay my taxes. My boss made me work. The traffic made me late. etc. etc.
I have to: This process involves finding out why you *have* to do things. It is a progression to the underlying cause of why you do things. I have to work. If I don't work, then I don't get paid. If I don't get paid then I
can't make the house payment. If I can't make the house payment then the bank will foreclose. If the bank forecloses then I have no where to live. If I don't have a place to live then I'll freeze in winter. If I freeze in winter then I get sick. If I get sick then I die. THEREFORE, I would RATHER work then die.
The Red/Black game: After several of these types of processes it was time for the Red/Black game. In this game people are divided into 2 teams and sent to separate rooms. Instructions were given to get the most number of points and elect a captain who will tally the votes. The trainer asked if anyone in the room had played the game before. A few had and were excused. I raised my hand and stated that I had read about the game in a book. I was told to play the game anyway.
There are 10 frames in this game like a bowling sheet. The 5th frame is double points, the 10th frame is triple points. Points are accumulated from frame to frame. There is no communication to the other team other than a staffer runs back and forth between rooms and tells you how the other team voted between frames. Each team votes on a color red or black with a simple majority. The trainer goes back and forth between the rooms and observes. There is absolutely no help from the staff.
Scoring is as follows:
Team A vote Team B vote Team A scores Team B scores
Black Black +3 +3
Red Black +5 -5
Black Red -5 +5
Red Red -5 -5
It should be obvious that the scenario is win/win win/lose lose/win and lose/lose.
When I went to the next room with my team, I was overwhelmingly elected to be the team captain since I had read about the game. I then explained the purpose of the game and how it is to illustrate the win-win scenario. We took a vote which I counted being the team captain. The votes for black outnumbered red by about 2:1. The staffer came into the room and said.
"Team B what is your vote?"
To which I responded "Team B votes Black."
The staffer said "Your vote has been accepted. Team A votes Black."
The black/black vote gave each team 3 points. Everyone seemed quite pleased that the vote turned out the way it did and it appeared that we were headed towards a win-win game. But this was not to be the case.
I asked for the vote for the second frame and this time the overwhelming majority voted black with just a few people voting red. The staffer returned and asked
"Team B what is your vote?"
I responded "Team B votes Black."
The staffer replied "I'm sorry, you did not follow the ground rules. Your vote is invalid."
This was quite puzzling. We took the vote again with the majority voting black. Again the staffer returns and asks
"Team B what is your vote?"
I responded again "Team B votes Black."
The staffer replies again "I'm sorry, you did not follow the ground rules. Your vote is invalid."
Being that the staffer is not in the room when we vote then one of the staff members that is seated at a table in the rear of the room must be giving him a thumbs down sign. The staffers seated at the rear sit with their arms crossed and are not saying a word. I was to learn later that this is practiced.
By this time people are starting to murmer that voting black must be wrong and that we should be voting red. I responded that the purpose of the game is to observe how you play game. I was thinking about how things had become rather interesting. I asked the group what they remembered about the ground rules. People responded with what they thought they heard. I took another vote. This time there were a few more voting red. Again the vote was declared invalid.
This time several people became very upset. A few of them get disgusted and leave the room. They are, of course, attended by staff. I can't blame them since it has been a long and stressful evening and it is well after midnight and at the rate we were going we could be there all night.
A man stands up and says that we should be voting red. That is why our vote was wrong. I stated that there was nothing in the ground rules stating which way we had to vote. More and more people rally around this individual and there is a motion to dismiss me as the team captain. The majority vote to dismiss me and install the other guy as team captain.
He takes the vote which is red by a small majority. The staffer returns.
"Team B what is your vote?"
To which the captain responds "Team B votes Red."
The staffer said "Your vote has been accepted. Team A votes Black."
There is much relief and celebration in the room. Not only has the vote been accepted but we are now winning the game. I was to learn later that members of Team A in the next room thought that Team B had tricked them into voting Black in the second frame and were now arguing for the third frame to be voted Red.
I stood up and said that I thought that what I did wrong was not count the individual votes in the second frame since it was overwhelmingly Black.
We took another vote which was black by a very small margin.
"Team B what is your vote?"
"Team B votes Black.."
The staffer said "Your vote has been accepted. Team A votes Red."
Several people are upset that Team A has voted Red. Even more people get up and leave the room. I think by the end of the game only 2/3rds are left in the room.
The fourth frame is voted Red/Red. The rest of the game goes rather quickly. From this point on with each frame more and more people in the group vote Red that by the 9th frame only myself and one or two others still vote Black. The tenth frame was the opportunity for triple points. At this point it is close to the end of the game and I said to myself "Screw it. I guess majority rules".
Everyone in the group voted Red, myself included.
Team A also voted Red.
The final result was a score something like -7 to -17. Little did we know there was hell to pay...
By this time it was after 1 AM and we were told to file back into the main ballroom in silence. The trainer had a look that would kill. When we got to our seats we were ordered to close our eyes and the trainer screamed at us for over 30 minutes straight. We were told that what we did in the game amounted to war and the way we played that game was the way we lived our lives. That screaming lecture accused us of just about every negative behavior imaginable. We were told that crime in the streets, racism, and other personal and social problems were because of people like us. You would have thought we were the leaders of Russia and America who just fired off an all-out nuclear exchange at each other and were now being called to account for it in hell. Those of us who knew how the game was supposed to be played and voted black were especially berated because we didn't "take a stand" for the win-win situation.
After a night of sleep deprivation and now another late night plus all the psychological opening exercises, this screaming lecture over a PA system sends thunderbolts through your consciousness. I felt like with every sentence that a powerful jolt of electricity was sent through my nervous system.
We were told to leave in silence and were given an assignment to spend an hour reflecting on what we just did and to be back at 10 AM. This is in addition to written homework due the next day. By this time it is going on 2 in the morning.
How to win the game? Refuse to vote unless the whole team votes for the win-win scenario.
------------------------
Philip Cushman writes in his PhD dissertation on Lifespring, "The Politics of Transformation":
The last exercise of the evening is the "Red and Black" game. This is a type of "prisoner's dilemma" game popular in social psychology experiments. Participants are encouraged by the trainer and by staff to "win" the game, really pour it on. Staffers become like cheerleaders, and, after the trainer has explained the game ("The purpose is to win"), participants are divided into two teams and are left on their own to elect captains and figure out how to win the game.
[COMMENT: The game, of course. is rigged. It directly follows the long "parent process," when participants are in an euphoric, emotionally primitive state in which they experience the ultimate gratifications of childhood: unconditional love and unlimited attention. After all the importance the trainer has placed on "winning," "doing whatever is necessary to win," and "creating your own reality," it turns out this game can be won only if the two sides cooperate. In the 18 trainings subjects reported on only once did participants figure out how to cooperate.)
By the time the game has to be stopped, 3 of 3"behavior" subjects (100%) reported that many people had become very excited. driven, and frustrated about winning. it is at this point the trainer steps in and harangues and humiliates the participants. He swears at them, he calls them names, he blames the arms race and world hunger on people like them, who "can't imagine winning without killing the other side."
The recrimination is very strong, and very effective. All subjects reported being affected by it and remembering it. The pattern was the same for 14 of 15 "experience" subjects (93%). Either subjects felt distraught because they tried to win by making the other side lose, or they figured out the key to winning, but they were too frightened to speak up or too self-critical to believe they knew the answer. Either way, one "experience" subject noted, everyone seemed to feel embarrassed and crushed. As one "behavior" subject noted, it was, paradoxically, a no-win situation.
Day 3, Saturday - What are YOU pretending not to know?
I did not get a good night sleep Friday night. Opening up the subconscious will keep you awake. I had a feeling of anxiousness for getting there on time Saturday morning. Boy were we trained good. I knew all of this consciously yet could do nothing about it. After driving around the parking garage looking for a space I ran to the hotel to make it on time and did with only two minutes to spare. (Oh God the music is playing, I better get to my seat.)
The session started off with another closed eye exercise in which we were reminded of more negative things about ourselves. I kept my eyes cracked open and was muttering things like "NOT", "No way baby", "Not in my universe", etc. in order to help counteract the effect of the exercise.
What these negative exercises do is to pull up the negative things that are buried in the subconscious. This is not necessarily wrong, but people do not realize that this is what happens.
Then we listened to this wailing blues song about the negativity of life in order to put us in the mood. After this the trainer asks
"Who wants to share?"
By this time there are several people in the group who have been opened up psychologically and put in a sufficiently altered state of consciousness that they are having things surface out of their subconscious.
A row of chairs has been placed on the stage and several people come forward to fill them.
The first one to stand up to be processed is a woman who confesses being sexually molested as a child. The woman tells the story and is reliving the experience.
Woman: "My father is sticking his tongue in me, I don't like it."
Trainer: "Uh huh. What else is he doing?"
The trainer speaks coldly and authoritatively with no trace of compassion in the voice. The woman confesses the entire story of being raped by her father and is crying like a little child. The trainer nods likes a talk-show host and acts like they have heard it all before. Several people in the room (myself included) are crying in sympathy. The emotion is way too intense.
The trainer walks up on stage next to the woman and screams in her face
"TELL YOUR FATHER HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS! TELL HIM!.
The woman screams out
"I HATE YOU! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?"
The trainer yells
"WHAT ARE YOU FEELING? WHERE IS THAT ENERGY IN YOUR BODY?"
The woman points to her solar plexus. The trainer demands
"HAVE THAT ENERGY MAKE A SOUND AND LET IT OUT"!!!!!
The woman lets out several long screams into the microphone and then bursts into tears. One of the assistants helps her back to her seat.
Another grown man around 50 years old gets up and starts relating the story of how his he and his brother were playing hide and seek. While he was hiding, the father called them in and he didn't hear him. The father went out to look for him and when found, the father beat him mercilessly. While telling the story, the man is crying uncontrollably. Again the trainer asks what he was feeling and where it was in his body. The trainer aggressively coaches out another long scream into the mike.
Another man gets up and confesses that he feels numb and can't feel love. The trainer asks him to have that numbness make a sound. He hums into the mike for a while and eventually breaks down crying like a baby.
A woman gets up and babbles incoherently about breaking up with her boyfriend. After telling her story she returns to her seat.
Person after person gets processed in this fashion by the trainer. They all end up screaming and crying into the microphone. Amplified by a PA system it has a powerful effect on the rest of us. This type of "sharing", more accurately described as "catharsis" is what the previous two days of aggressive awareness exercises produces in the participants. These exercises, along with the sleep deprivation have opened people up
psychologically and have produced a strong altered state of consciousness such that the childhood traumas that have been long buried in the subconscious are now surfacing.
One man confesses that he never told his mother that he loved her. The trainer tells him to get on his knees and visualize his mother and tell her. While he is on his knees the staff in the back of the room play a song about "Mommy being there to tie your shoes and dry your eyes" through the PA system. I am thinking, "Man, they have a song for every occasion". During one of the breaks I check out the PA system and there are dozens of tapes in a rack.
Another woman get up and says she is ashamed at all the hatred that she is feeling. We are told that the rest of us will now have a chance to let it all out. It is time for the "What do you want?" process.
In this process people pair off in chairs facing one another. One person is the coach and screams in the other person's face at the top of his lungs "WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHAT DO YOU WANT?" The second person screams at the top of his lungs anything that pops up "LOVE, LIFE, HAPPINESS, FREEDOM, etc". Sometimes something negative will come up spontaneously. "HATE" I don't think that is what the person wants it is just what comes up.
The lights are dimmed and the process begins. The trainer and the staff cruise the room shouting in people's faces too. Whenever one comes by me I scream out "QUIET" or "A REFUND" or "PRIMAL SCREAM THERAPY". (I gotta have some fun with this). During this process there are a few shivers of emotional release. I don't know what I am releasing. Guess it doesn't matter.
This process went on for an ungodly amount of time. At the end we were coached to let out several screams (no words). Over 100 people in a hotel ballroom screaming at the top of their lungs. At the end we are to hug the other person and listen to another song.
I Want To Know What Love Is - Foreigner
I gotta take a little time, a little time to think things over
I better read between the lines, in case I need it when I'm older
Now this mountain I must climb, feels like the world upon my shoulders
Through the clouds I see love shine, it keeps me warm as life grows
colder
In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've travelled so far, to change this lonely life
I want to know what love is, I want you to show me
I want to feel what love is, I know you can show me
I'm gonna take a little time, a little time to look around me
I've got nowhere left to hide, it looks like love has finally found me
In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've travelled so far, to change this lonely life
I want to know what love is, I want you to show me
I want to feel what love is, I know you can show me
I want to know what love is, I want you to show me
(And I wanna feel) I want to feel what love is
(And I know) I know you can show me
Let's talk about love - I want to know what love is
The love that you feel inside - I want you to show me
And I'm feeling so much love - I want to feel what love is
No, you just can't hide - I know you can show me
I want to know what love is (let's talk about love), I know you can
show me
I wanna feel it too - I want to feel what love is
I wanna feel it too, and I know and I know - I know you can show me
Show me love is real, yeah - I want to know what love is...
After this we were instructed to find a spot in the room and sit or lay down on the floor. The trainer starts another closed eye process. (Jeez, can't we take a break? We keep getting slammed with process after process.)
This process starts out with "walking down a spiral staircase into the darkness". This is a classic hypnotic induction technique. We are led through dark passageways in a maze like fashion. After being led through the catacombs of our consciousness we come to a door. At this point the tunnels we have been led through collapse behind us. The only way out is through the door. There is a saying in hypnosis that you have to go through the basement to get to the attic.
When we open the door we are led into a room of bright light. After ascending a golden staircase we sit down on a special chair. We are guided to pick up a photo album representing our lives.
When we look up from the album, standing there is your mother. We were told to say anything we wanted to our mother. Some people were crying, others were screaming, others were having conversations with their mothers. We repeated this with our fathers. Then we repeated this with other family members. I found that I didn't have any buried resentments against my parents. It was emotional though. Pass the kleenex.
Next we were led through a process where we meet our inner child and the child gives us a gift. The gifts are different for each person and reflect something in their consciousness. This is a very moving and touching experience. These types of processes are done in seminars done by John Bradshaw and others. However I don't believe Bradshaw does this aggressive breakdown stuff beforehand. One of the staffers was next to me on the floor and she was boo-hooing big time. She had done Lifespring. I asked her if she had done this process before. She said no. Apparently Lifespring does not have an inner child process.
We setup the chairs and sit back in our seats. Now the trainer becomes "seductive and charming" and invites people to share what they experienced. I was wondering when the changeover to "nice" would take place.
After this we took a meal break for an hour and a half. When we came back the music is cranked up and there is a half-hour of dancing. I will point out here that this type of physical exertion is helpful at this point. People have just released major emotional stuff. Dancing releases a lot of the tension and gets your energy flowing again.
The moving meditation, hug line, or love bomb process - This process involves a long snaking circular line. Where we are given the opportunity to silently interact with every person in the room including the staff. We are instructed to vote with our fingers: one finger means no contact, Two means to look the other person in the eyes, three fingers for a handshake, and four to give a full body hug. None of this lean over and keep your pelvis away type of hug stuff. That was called a tee-pee hug. This is full body contact head to toe and (jokingly) called a pee-pee hug. Most everyone votes to hug. It is a very moving experience.
We are dismissed early (before 10) in comparison to the last two nights. Homework was given to try to reconnect with a family member or someone from the past.
We are to return on Sunday being "dressed for success".
Day 4 Sunday - Graduation
We were told to attend the fourth day being "dressed for success". There
was dancing when we came in as well as after each break. We had been
given homework to do a "completion" or reconciliation of a past
relationship. People shared their experiences of contacting parents
and other relatives to heal old wounds. There was also sharing from the
"hold-backs" or people who needed further catharsis.
Much of the morning focused on goal setting. An exercise was performed
where we were to visualize and write goals for 10 years, 5 years, 2
years, 1 year, 1 month, 1 week. After this we did an exercise where we
were given two weeks to live and were to write goals for that.
During the lunch break we were given an exercise to give hugs to
strangers and perform random acts of kindness. After we came back the
numbers of hugs and acts of kindness were tallied.
During the afternoon there was a sales pitch for the advanced course. It
was presented like the good feelings we had would not stick and we would
fall back into our old ways of doing things unless we signed up for
advanced. We were also asked how many people we would bring to the
Tuesday night guest event. There was an exercise where one is to define
what one stands for. Share your stand with the other participants.
The Graduation - At the end of the day is a candle lighting ceremony
where the trainer lights her candle and then lights the staff's candles.
The staff then lights the candles of the participants. At the end is an
emotional reunion with friends and family members who have come to the
graduation. It seems like all the trauma and catharsis is somehow
magically forgotten.
http://perso.orange.fr/eldon.braun/awareness/lgat4.html