Author Topic: The Camp Fire  (Read 1637 times)

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Offline Antigen

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The Camp Fire
« on: January 21, 2006, 07:49:00 PM »
Now gather `roun', chilin's, and bring yer chittlins and butter beans too. I'd like to get to know ya'll on a more friendly, familiar basis. Seems some of us might have old ties that go back to before most of yenz were even a twinklin in yer daddy's eye.

Please brace yourselfs, now! Some of yenz may find it truely shocking and frightenin' that people in positions of responsibility and authority over other people's kids actually think this way, others will likely get all misty eyed and confused by the foreign sense of hope and gratitude.

First, let's talk about football...
Quote
He yelled profanities at our kids. he called them names. He became a serious challnege to the development of their self-esteem. He was spiteful toward them. He was downright mean to them.

And we paid him many thousands of dollars to do all of this to our sons and daughters.

I know, scores of columnists and talk-show hosts have lamented the sorry state of youth coaching in our society. They scare us with stories of abuse, both physical and mental, all in the name of winning. And yet, every week, I hear and see scores and scores of atrocities that don't make it on the talk show circuit.

As a division I collegiate soccer coach, much of my time is spent patroling the sidelines patroling for the next Mia Hamm. Add to that many more hours I spend cheering on my three kids as they play their various sports of choice. I see lots of youth coaching from the volunteer parents coach to the club coach making nearly 6 figures to run a national ranked program. And at all of those levels, I still cannot believe what I see and hear:10-year-old boys being screamed at by red faced vulunteer coaches, and 18-year-old girls being called the vilest of things, simply because they are not playing up to the standards of their coach.

Last summer, I attended a high powered club tournament in the East. I had the unfortunate oportunity to witness a coach in the middle of a half-time meltdown. With sweat streaming down his face, he proceeded to direct a profanity laced assault at almost every player on the team. To win the tournament meant scholarships to all of the major colleges, he screamed, adding that the uninspired play was sure to sicken the recruiters, just as it sickened him. On and on he went, and yet the parents of the players sat nearby through it all, straining to hear with one ear while exchanging gossip with the others.

One of those parents was in my office a few weeks later, explaining to me why his daughter was truely Mia II. The subject of his daughter's club coach came up.

"Yeah, the guy is certifiably insane", he began. "But, hey, he makes them into winnders. Before he came, they hadn't won the league title in over five years!"

The father didn't scream at his daughter (at least not that I knew of). The father didn't belittle her abilities or her weight or her lack of heart in front of her friends. The father didn't find the most sarcastic way possible to tell her how she was ruining it all from her teamates. But paid another man handsomely to do it instead.

It is not getting better and, in my view, in many circles it is getting worse. At the highschool level, there is so much concern over the price of college that any coach who may increace our children's chance of securing an athletic scholarship is treated with revrence, regardless of his or her demeanor. For the institution. And, sadly, it is often just as bad at youth level.

The outcome of all of this has been well documented in scores of studies of childhood development. These kids are more likely to develop serious self esteem problems. These kids are more likely to marry abusive spouses. These kids are more likely to abuse their own spouses, for they have learned that verbal abuse unleashed for a "good cause" is justified.

We wouldn't let classroom teachers talk to our kids this way and yet, our pragmatically driven aproach to youth sports causes us to turn a deaf ear and a blind eye when such behavior is acompanied w/ on field success.

The youth/collegiate sports community must come to embrace these truths:


  1. While fear and intimidation can motivate us, the negative byproduct of such behavior far outweighs the advantages.
  2. What our kids learn in the arena of sports, they will practice in society.
  3. It doesn't have to be this way. At every level of sport, there are great examples of coaches who motivate and teach their athletes with compassion instead of anger. They teach us that winning and learning and fun and respect and dignity can all play in the same orchestra, often w/ stunning results. But if we can't change youth sports culture overnight, we can at least change the future of our own children. Never, ever let your child play for a coach who has forgotten that, at the end of every day, it is still just a game. Never, ever let your child be taught that verbal harassment has a useful purpose in society. If we just rescue one child at a time, perhaps one day the abusive coaches will end up with no kids left to abuse.




    By Mike Giuliano
    women's soccer coach at San Diego State.
    As published by PAWest Touchline, January 2006 (except for typos, of course) under the headline: LET'S STOP TOLLERATING ALL ABUSIVE COACHES


I hope that put yenz in the mind of an honest to goodness, real life man who really works with real kids in the real world.

[Next episode: Chris Bugg; talkin' w/ yer feet]

A faith that cannot survive collision with the truth is not worth many regrets.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0312878214/qid=1122338640/circlofmiamithem' target='_new'>Arthur C. Clark

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
~ Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Sweet Judy Blue Eyes

Offline Antigen

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The Camp Fire
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2006, 07:23:00 PM »
Well now, chillin's, I promised to tell you about Chris Bugg, and I will. You may ask yourself how I come to know Chris Bugg, if you even know who Chris Bugg is. Well, he was a Florida Striker and I was somewhat of a Stiker liker, but that's now how I come to know him. And I won't tell you that story tonight, cause I found the same thing said so well just now, and before I forget, I just have to share this with ya.

http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?to ... =41#150826

Our nada who art in nada, nada be thy name. Thy kingdom nada, thy will be nada as it is in nada. Give us this nada our daily nada and nada us our nada as we nada our nadas and nada us into nada but deliver us from nada; pues nada. Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee.
--Ernest Hemingway, American author

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
~ Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Sweet Judy Blue Eyes

Offline Deborah

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The Camp Fire
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2006, 07:45:00 PM »
Thank ya so much Eu-dor-able.  :wink:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
gt;>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Hidden Lake Academy, after operating 12 years unlicensed will now be monitored by the state. Access information on the Federal Class Action lawsuit against HLA here: http://www.fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?t=17700

Offline Antigen

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The Camp Fire
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2006, 05:22:55 AM »
Chris Bugg was a wonderful man. Not a spectacularly accomplished man of means or anything. Most ppl probably never even heard of him. Chris was just a happy go lucky kinda guy. Not that he didn't have a care or any trouble. He certainly had his fair share. Just that he never let his troubles get in the way of the important things in life, like showing a bunch of kids how to enjoy a good game of soccer.

When I met Chris Bugg, he was coaching little league soccer in Deerfield Beach, Florida where my 11yo daughter played on the city league. She was pretty good at it, too. Not the star of the team. Those spots were reserved for a couple of stringers from So. America who Chris managed to angle onto his scrap team just to sort of level the playing field, so to speak. They were good and my kid fell right into a good support role, taking that ball from whomever was trying to score on us and delivering it poste haste to whichever of our stringers was open.

Their last game of the season was a tough one. The other team was behaving very badly. One kid, possibly encouraged by the alleged adult coaching that team, kept trying to take her out. Every play, there he was, not focused on the ball or the game but only on trying to trip, kick or antagonize my kid. Over and over he tripped her. Occasionally he drew a foul for it. But mostly not. The whole game, my daughter made me so proud. She kept on taking it, doing the job anyway and never letting it get to her. We won and she had a part in that.

At the end of the game, they did the customary handshake line. At the end of that, Chris called her aside for a little chat. I missed this myself, being a little deaf. But when she got to that one kid, instead of saying "good game" my daughter said "you suck". With great patience and good humor, Chris explained to my daughter how that had marred her good work. She had said all she needed to say with her feet. Stating it as she had, and doing it in the middle of that good tradition of good sportsmanship as she had, took away from her good work.

I wonder how Chris Bugg is doing now. Well, I hope.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
~ Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Sweet Judy Blue Eyes

Offline Antigen

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The Camp Fire
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2006, 02:31:00 AM »
But sometimes, ya just get clutzy and awkward and fubar the whole game. Here recently, a few good folks have volunteered to help w/ the growning admin functions around here. All hail MGDP for saving us from spam and tweaking a few things that have been begging for tweaking. And, as he wanted RB to assist, and I figured everybody was up to speed by now on the sanctity of anonymity around here, I said sure, why not?

But it's a subtle issue and I guess, as it turns out, it does bear another discussion. So how about a little bit of that right here?

Here's something of the thinking that led me to set up these forums. I had been hanging out on Usenet for some time and had watched pretty closely and participated enough in lists and newsletters growing out of it to be fairly impressed with how things go down when nobody's really in charge. Wes Fager had tried starting a Program themed usenet group, but there wasn't the interest. I tried sparking interest in vaguely relavent exant groups. No luck there either. Usenet never was really what you'd call mainstream, even by Cyberian standards. So the odds of running into anyone there who had been through a thought reform program were not good.

So web forums were starting to take on popularity. But all of them were ad sponsored and mostly subsidiaries or potential, future acquisitions of deep pocketted, big companies. It's just more cost effective and business wise for them to hit the delete key than to chance incurring legal expenses and bad PR. So there were no web forums where anyone could really throw down on something as outrageous and emotionally charged as any discussion about the Program almost always is.

That's one way they hold together by keeping us apart. You just can't have this talk without people getting very agitated and nasty and it's become politically incorrect and legally dubious to show any sort of strong emotion or condemned opinions anymore. It's a snitch culture, people are scared to say what they really think.

So I've been hard line about protecting people's anonymity. Even if I don't like them, even if I disagree heatedly with their mother's decision to go through with it, even when people use it to fuck with others in cruel and destructive ways, it's not my call. Anything anybody can say, any of those tired old slight of mind routines they may try and play on us, I say bring it! Those only work until you understand the trick and a good many of us are master level students of them all. Shit, some of you staffers are mere novices. It's almost laughable. Like looking down on the pip squeek freshmen from the lofty perch of seniority.  :lol: Shit! I would have bested you by the time I was 12 and only 6 years into the Program.

For them that don't see it there are those of us who are happy to explain it. It's a good stress reliever sometimes. And you have to admit, freedom has fostered just about the most spectacular trolling culture to be found anywhere on the net. :nworthy:

But on a more serious note, it has been my policy to protect anonymous communications for all the same reasons why the New York City newspapers published The Federalist anonymously in 1788. And these are the same reasons I read about defending the anon pennet system by which dissidents in repressed circumstances could get word out to the free world. Man, can I identify with THAT now! That would have made a world of difference 20 years ago; if only we could have spoken confidentially w/o fear of reprisal.

And that's happened so many times and in so many ways around here. I'd never want to stiffle that. I should have given another rendition of that before giving anybody access to server data. I think everybody understands that now, right?

We now return you to your regularly scheduled trolling.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
~ Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Sweet Judy Blue Eyes

Offline Anonymous

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The Camp Fire
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2006, 03:07:10 AM »
Blow me.


You have been trolled.


TSW
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Antigen

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The Camp Fire
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2006, 10:28:27 AM »
Nothing worse than a lame troll first thing in the morning.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
~ Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Sweet Judy Blue Eyes

Offline Anonymous

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chirp chirp chirp
« Reply #7 on: December 14, 2006, 03:17:51 PM »
Where is everyone?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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The Camp Fire
« Reply #8 on: December 14, 2006, 06:29:26 PM »
Waiting for fresh news, of which there seems to be little.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »