Author Topic: To tell kids or not?  (Read 4071 times)

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Offline Covergaard

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The parents could go too
« Reply #15 on: November 07, 2006, 02:48:51 AM »
Family Brat camp from twentytwenty production has just finished a series, where the parents went along with their child.

It worked good for two of the four.

It might have worked for three out of the four, but the mom could not face reality and discomfort in the desert, so she took the family out even when her boy seemed to improved. She just would not solve the problem.

I can understand why some parents outsource the whole thing to a strange company. It is hard to work with one self and those issues we all have. Yes, we have them all because we are human beings.

We can also change them if we face the fact that there could be a problem.

So my input is: Tell them that you as a parent would send the entire family out starving in the desert if they don't behaive. Just put the housekey in a envelope in front of them to tell them that an escort firm could come at some point and escort the entire family away in handcuffs.

How do you think you relationship with your parents would have been, if they had lied next to you in OP, a stone circle or in a dog cage? Would they by their own torment show you that they cared for you?
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Offline psy

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Re: The parents could go too
« Reply #16 on: November 07, 2006, 03:19:37 AM »
Quote from: ""Covergaard""
Family Brat camp from twentytwenty production has just finished a series, where the parents went along with their child.

There really cannot be an accurate TV documentary on programs unless the cameras are hidden.  What 20/20 showed was what we deal with on  fornits.

Quote

It worked good for two of the four.

It might have worked for three out of the four, but the mom could not face reality and discomfort in the desert, so she took the family out even when her boy seemed to improved.

Wow.  The cameras are there, the staff are on their best behaviour, and the spoiled mommy decides it's too much for her.  JEE SUS.  Somebody pack the bitch off to TB.

Quote
She just would not solve the problem.

I can understand why some parents outsource the whole thing to a strange company. It is hard to work with one self and those issues we all have. Yes, we have them all because we are human beings.

We can also change them if we face the fact that there could be a problem.

So my input is: Tell them that you as a parent would send the entire family out starving in the desert if they don't behaive. Just put the housekey in a envelope in front of them to tell them that an escort firm could come at some point and escort the entire family away in handcuffs.

How do you think you relationship with your parents would have been, if they had lied next to you in OP, a stone circle or in a dog cage? Would they by their own torment show you that they cared for you?


Well.  My parents were ignorant.  Otherwise they would be going to a nursing home a-la Abu Ghraibe.

Do I think it would have changed thier opinion if they had experienced what I had?  You have no idea how many times i have wished for just that -- not to hurt them, but to make them understand my pain and why i can't "just get over it".

Torment never shows care.  I have never understood "tough love". Such bullshit. You treat people like dirt and it is somehow "magically" supposed to make them better people.  FUCK NO.  It teaches you how to isolate, how to shut off, how to harden your heart to the suffering of others while you protect yourself from the constant bombardment of your psyche with endless mind games.  Eventually they break you and convince you that who you are is a lie, and they will sell you the truth.  That moment, you die inside, and then your former self starts to rot as you forget who you were.  Eventually, if you don't snap out of it, you end up dishing out the "emotional growth" as a parent, ed-con, or program staff.

It's the same thinking behind the person who says "my father beats me and i'm a stronger person for it, he cared about me".  And what do you think that person does to his child.

Where is the logic here.
The common fucking sense.
Hate begets what?  HATE!!!
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Offline Anonymous

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To tell kids or not?
« Reply #17 on: November 07, 2006, 10:50:55 AM »
I think Milk is a hero!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline BSarro

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To tell kids or not?
« Reply #18 on: November 07, 2006, 11:59:12 AM »
For the last time, I am female. Show me some respect! Immature thugs on this forum!
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Offline CCM girl 1989

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Re: To tell kids or not?
« Reply #19 on: November 07, 2006, 01:09:03 PM »
Quote from: ""Milk Gargling Death Penal""
Okay, this one's busting me inside.

I'm a mod of a forum I most certainly will not name on Fornits (and I most certainly don't use the name Milk Gargling Death Penalty there!), one where the primary subject is of interest to teenagers and pre-teens. Kids post there, kids I don't know the backgrounds of.

One part of me is saying "Jesus fuck, what if one of them really IS in danger of being sent away and I DIDN'T warn him?" and the other is saying "Cripes, asshole, if they really were they probably wouldn't be posting there, they're just kids and this shit will give them nightmares. Don't post it, they shouldn't even have to think about this!"

Which attitude is correct?



If you tell these kids, one of a few things could happen. They might correct their behaivor to avoid being sent away? They might feel like they need to keep secrets from their parents, therefore the lines of communication will go down, and they will just get better at hiding the bad behaivor? Or they could prematurely run away from home because they were paranoid that their parents might send them away when infact the parents don't choose to outsource their parental responsibilities, but to deal with it themselves.

I think you should alert them though. That way they have a chance to correct their behaivor. The other things that could happen, might just happen anyway?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
f you were never in a program, or a parent of a child in a program, then you have no business posting here.

Offline Anonymous

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To tell kids or not?
« Reply #20 on: November 07, 2006, 01:13:37 PM »
I say again: Their actual behavior has extremely little to do with whether or not they get sent to a hellhole. It might create a near-miss moment (akin to the parents who read the ST thread and do the sane thing: run like fuck) if they talk about it before the ed-cons get involved, though.

Telling the kids does amp the paranoia up quite a bit- that much I'm sure of.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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To tell kids or not?
« Reply #21 on: November 08, 2006, 07:35:03 PM »
Quote from: ""Milk Gargling Death Penal""
I'm almost always of the opinion that sheltering children is stupid and a bad idea, but Fornits is one of the few exceptions. The things discussed here- propheets, raps, OP, long-term incarceration, and every word of it reality- are enough to make even me think twice.

Yeah, I chose to tell them.

Quote
maybe if they checked fornits out and it scared them bad enough some of them that are on the wrong path in life would take another look at how they are living their life

It might, but that's because the kids don't know that whatever they may or may not actually be doing has surprisingly little to do with whether they get sent away.

i agree fornits is tough, but fornits is reality also. if they come here and read far enough to read what we as children have gone through, then i am sure they have also read far enough to read that little to nothing can get you sent to one of these places. people underestimate the intelligence of children who participate on forums. i think very few who come here would see only part of what is said here. i am glad you told them, i feel strongly as if they have a right to read our history, and how that history has dictated our future.
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Offline Anonymous

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Re: To tell kids or not?
« Reply #22 on: March 13, 2007, 03:23:55 PM »
Quote from: ""Milk Gargling Death Penalty""
Okay, this one's busting me inside.

I'm a mod of a forum I most certainly will not name on Fornits (and I most certainly don't use the name Milk Gargling Death Penalty there!), one where the primary subject is of interest to teenagers and pre-teens. Kids post there, kids I don't know the backgrounds of.


WHAT A BIG SURPRISE!! NOT!!!  :roll:  :roll:  ::puke::
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline exhausted

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To tell kids or not?
« Reply #23 on: March 15, 2007, 05:31:46 PM »
It's a difficult decision to make, probably alerting them to the options their parents have if they start to act out is a good idea, but encouraging them to talk with their parents so there's an understanding as to what is acceptable, what is expected as normal teen behaviour would be a good idea, at least that way the teen has got in there 1st, talked maturely and sensivbly with the parent(s) and maybe they could draw up a contract that al parties stick to, rather than letting it go too far

The one problem you would have is with the teens who are sent away because they have chosen a career or girlfriend etc that the parents see as a danger sign of them becoming disobedient and unruly, or taking drugs  :roll: They don't stand a chance no matter what you say, their only option is to run as fast as they can
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »