I am not sure that it is ever a bad thing to begin to challenge issues in one's life. Change is often traumatic and that the issue involves an experience that was on par with torture and being a POW does nothing to help. Like the genie in the bottle, there is no way to put it back once it is out. The issues must be dealt with.
When this happened to me I had no idea of the cause, I just knew something was very wrong. I found myself plannig to commit suicide and having my own little psychotic break. I found a head psrinker and began just talking to anyone who would listen to me. I made sure I wasn't ever by myself for very long and worked hard on developing a good network of support. I'm not talking AA, NA or anyA here. I am talking about finding people who were genuinely concerned with my well-being. Thus it didn't matter what flavor of care they espoused. It sounds like your husband is well ahead of where I was.
You need to understand that the guilt, shame, confusion and pain your husband feels is a conditioned behaviour. This how we are supposed to act according to the programming we recieved.
To have doubts about how we were treated in Straight is contrary to "the program". All things contrary to the "the program" are wrong. When you are wrong you MUST feel guilty and ashamed of yourself. This MUST cause you pain! If you do not feel the pain of being guilty and ashamed you will be punished. Straights ultimate goal being that we, the "clients", would begin to administer the punishment to ourselves. The people who graduated are masters of self-punishment. Heck, the people who copped-out are most likely everybit as good for they got to play the what if game about the "magic" of graduating. (I'm not sure about this, but it seems to follow.)
It took me better than 5 years of constant work to begin to throw off these learned behaviours. During this time I could only hold a minimum wage job, but I was in college. I saw my psrink weekly for an while and, at the time went to an AA meeting everyday. Didn't pay much attention to anyone else, but it gave me a place to talk out loud about myself and not have it come back to haunt me. Remember, at the time I had no idea what was causing these things to go wrong.
When I found this and sites like it, to me, there was a loud click in my head. It placed everything I had been working on in perspective and answered all the nagging questions I had left. Like why am I different than every one I knew in AA/NA.
To me, I am not putting up with someone's insanity, I am listening to a brother wake up from a long, undeserved, nightmare. Please let him know that I, for one, understand and there is no shame or guilt that should accrue for his behaviour.
Feel free to contact me whenever. Most of my information is in my profile.
Clay
ATL 1982-1984
ATL 1986-1988