Author Topic: Where'd Everybody Go?  (Read 1518 times)

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Offline ClayL

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Where'd Everybody Go?
« on: February 04, 2003, 10:47:00 PM »
What happened? Y'all really have to know that my work day becomes VERY boring without new stuff to read. Right? Yeah? Hears hollow echo from empty hall and wonder's, "Is it me?"

CL

[ This Message was edited by: ClayL on 2003-02-04 19:48 ]
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Offline JDavid

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Where'd Everybody Go?
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2003, 11:18:00 PM »
I'm still here.  Lookin' for new stuff to read at least once a day.

David
Kennesaw, GA
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Majiktrvls

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Where'd Everybody Go?
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2003, 11:36:00 PM »
HELLO, hello, hello........is there anybody out there? Just nod if you can hear me.....is there anyone at home?
I was wondering if it was just me? It is comforting to know that Clay was hearing those hollow echoes, too!! Thought maybe there was some sort of Glitch going on........

Glad that there is someone at home!
Hello to you, JDavid!

[ This Message was edited by: Majiktrvls on 2003-02-04 20:37 ]
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Offline Anonymous

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Where'd Everybody Go?
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2003, 01:29:00 AM »
Here's some news my husband had a nervous breakdown and is now in a mental institution.  Im sorry if his insanity was intrusive to this board, but hopefully now he will get the help he needs
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Offline Tampa survivor

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Where'd Everybody Go?
« Reply #4 on: February 05, 2003, 09:09:00 PM »
Hi clay....
Things got a little weird for a while during the flame war, but I've met and talked with Serpico and Maltese Falcon, and that whole ball of shit is now settled.  Helps to all get on the same page.
 I also started a new job, and thats been hectic as hell.  Trying to find my way around a 1000 bed hospital has been a trip.
As for the bizarre postings which had recently begun, I think we now know what happened: one of our fellow survivors seems to have lost it a bit, but is now getting help.  
Hope all is well in Ga my friend.
Bill
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Bill H
St Pete & Atlanta, never surrendered!
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Offline chinrse23

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Where'd Everybody Go?
« Reply #5 on: February 05, 2003, 09:35:00 PM »
Thats exactly what happened.  Believe me i was almost forced to turn off the internet connection because he couldnt even understand that what he was doing was not really good for him. thanks for putting up with his insanity for awhile
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Offline ClayL

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Where'd Everybody Go?
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2003, 09:49:00 AM »
I am not sure that it is ever a bad thing to begin to challenge issues in one's life. Change is often traumatic and that the issue involves an experience that was on par with torture and being a POW does nothing to help. Like the genie in the bottle, there is no way to put it back once it is out. The issues must be dealt with.

When this happened to me I had no idea of the cause, I just knew something was very wrong. I found myself plannig to commit suicide and having my own little psychotic break. I found a head psrinker and began just talking to anyone who would listen to me. I made sure I wasn't ever by myself for very long and worked hard on developing a good network of support. I'm not talking AA, NA or anyA here. I am talking about finding people who were genuinely concerned with my well-being. Thus it didn't matter what flavor of care they espoused. It sounds like your husband is well ahead of where I was.

You need to understand that the guilt, shame, confusion and pain your husband feels is a conditioned behaviour. This how we are supposed to act according to the programming we recieved.

To have doubts about how we were treated in Straight is contrary to "the program". All things contrary to the "the program" are wrong. When you are wrong you MUST feel guilty and ashamed of yourself. This MUST cause you pain! If you do not feel the pain of being guilty and ashamed you will be punished. Straights ultimate goal being that we, the "clients", would begin to administer the punishment to ourselves. The people who graduated are masters of self-punishment. Heck, the people who copped-out are most likely everybit as good for they got to play the what if game about the "magic" of graduating. (I'm not sure about this, but it seems to follow.)

It took me better than 5 years of constant work to begin to throw off these learned behaviours. During this time I could only hold a minimum wage job, but I was in college. I saw my psrink weekly for an while and, at the time went to  an AA meeting everyday. Didn't pay much attention to anyone else, but it gave me a place to talk out loud about myself and not have it come back to haunt me. Remember, at the time I had no idea what was causing these things to go wrong.

When I found this and sites like it, to me, there was a loud click in my head. It placed everything I had been working on in perspective and answered all the nagging questions I had left. Like why am I different than every one I knew in AA/NA.

To me, I am not putting up with someone's insanity, I am listening to a brother wake up from a long, undeserved, nightmare. Please let him know that I, for one, understand and there is no shame or guilt that should accrue for his behaviour.

Feel free to contact me whenever. Most of my information is in my profile.

Clay
ATL 1982-1984
ATL 1986-1988
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Offline chinrse23

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Where'd Everybody Go?
« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2003, 10:53:00 AM »
He did isolate himself.  I think he was afraid of what he might do if people annoyed him.  Which everyone did.  I guess i should have seen what was going on, but when you are that close to someone i think that i really wanted everything to just be ok.  I also have problems of my own with isolation. Ive done it to myself many times. In a way, he sort of had me brainwashed to.  He is very convincing with his arguments and they seemed ok to me with my problems to.

We have a few friends, but not many.  We had also come to find that many of our friends were not really that good of friends. Many of them were just as messed up as we are.  We tended to gravitate to these people and these people are just not good support they have their own problems.

We dont get any support from his parents. His family is out of the question one of the most messed up group of people I have ever seen.  This includes his extended family.

My family lives out of state and quite frankly avoiding them had become a way of life for me, but thats a whole other story.

I now see though that there are people out there who really do care and can help us.  I myself have real problems asking for help. When i was young that was not something that was encouraged because my parents where divorced and often were just not there  to provide any help.  Medical professionals have done me a great disservice to and therefore i am very wary of them.

I want you to know that it took a lot for me to even ask for help or to get him to ask for help.  I know that this my own downfall and now realize that this may not be the best way to deal with situations.  I have learned a lot from this too and hope that I can continue to learn more about us and how we deal with situations.

When I forced him to get off the internet i know that it was the right thing to do. At the time he actually thanked me for doing it.  This may seem a little corny but for some reason, maybe a feeling, it was time to break that off.  Maybe i was wrong, but i think i did the right thing.

[ This Message was edited by: chinrse157 on 2003-02-06 08:04 ]

[ This Message was edited by: chinrse157 on 2003-02-06 08:07 ]
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Offline ClayL

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Where'd Everybody Go?
« Reply #8 on: February 06, 2003, 04:33:00 PM »
One of the things I learned in straight is to talk about personal issues ONLY in the past tense and to sound as if it has been a while since the issue came up. I still dislike being around new people and do not do very well in a crowd. Conducting a meeting is difficult, talking with one of the executive at the office is nigh on to impossible, especially if my opinion differs. Some one asking me, "What's wrong?" makes me paranoid and squirm like a snake on a hot road. In straight, what's up is one of those questions that had no right answer and I lived in perpetual fear of hearing it.

I have not talked to my father about any of this and have no plans to. I don't think he'd agree with me and wouldn't understand why it still bothers me. I have better things to do with my time.

I have been around medical professionals all my life and medicine has been VERY good to me. Therefore my take on professionals is somewhat different than most. I do know there are doctors I do not respect and some I would not take my dog to. To me a good doc is one who'll tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

As far as forcing you husnand to take a break. You did what you thought was best and no one may fault you for that.

CL
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