Can you get out of paying for this school?

[Anonymous]

Thanks Terry,

Yes, I do understand.  I have two children very close in age.  The older has had significant problems, the younger still overachieving and trying desperately not to be a problem-  We, fortunately, did not choose a WWASP school but rather another less restrictive boarding alternative- but a TBS none the less.  He's been through a year of college with great sucess.  Our family feels no guilt- only relief.  Our son seems to have his life put back together.  Drugs were only an issue for a couple of weeks- sort of the last cry for help/change.  We had tried everything,-indiv. counseling,family counseling, out-patient, numerous Outward Bound types of programs-  Nothing seemed to work.  He turned 18 during his first month at school and fortunately decided to finish, graduate and go to college. And, (before all the fireworks begin) he was given a choice to stay home. The academics were actually fairly good where he went so he was aacepted to the college of his choice.  Unfortunately, there are not enough "good" alternatives out there.  I'm sorry you went the WWASP route.  A local psychiatrist recommended the school we chose.  I dare not say the name- it just inflames the group here.

[Terryh]

That is an excellent point.  Real life includes paying expenses.  Even if you believe in what they do at that place, it's going to delay getting started at being self-sufficient.  When you institutionalize anyone, they go backwards in develpment.  
Obviously in this forum, you won't get a pat on the back for putting your kid in one of these holes, but you will get some facts.  Inmates in prisons get better attention and care than "students" at these gualgs.  (I guess that is appropriate)
I want you to know that some of the biggest supporters of these schools are now aggressively fighting their existence.  I have exchanged emails with other parents that have had their kids mistreated.  Don't do it!!!  Don't let yourself feel the regret that we do!!!
I pulled my daughter out 4 weeks into the program a year to the day today.  Tonight we're going to catch a college baseball tournament.  Does she still do dumb things?  You bet!  Will I miss another day with her?  Not a chance!

Freedom has a thousand charms to show, That slaves, howe'er contented, never know.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1840300051/circlofmiamithem' target='_new'> William Cowper, a British Christian poet & hymn writer (18th century)

[Terryh]

I live in a state with some laws that have good intentions, but become barriers from help.  We were on our own to figure this out and because the behavior went from bad to extremely dangerous we went too fast and made a bad choice.  I'm not talking about smoking dope, I'm talking about someone being murdered.  My daughter would have been there had I not gotten a call from school that day and went to talk to the dean.  Because she was skipping a class, she was on restriction when her group was involved in murdering one's grandmother.  She could have snuck out, but I checked the security contacts on her window and found that she disabled it and I was able to fix it.  
For any of you "victims" that want to jump on parents for making these rash decisions, try to walk in our shoes.  We could all just ignore the problem, but we choose to try to help others avoid the mistake.  We won't be successful if you bash visitors and you make us not want to fight for this cause.  

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
--Napoleon Bonaparte, French emperor

[Anonymous]

I really am happy for you.  I know I got "lucky" during a time of fear, vulnerability and ignorance.  Fortunately my son found the whole experience challenging- in a good way.  Did he love it there?  No.  But, he's happy that our relationship was strengthened BECAUSE he was away-  I'm not looking for a pat on the back.  I don't need validation on a forum.  But, I do like to speak from time to time about doing your homework and not chosing a program known for abuse.

[Anonymous]

That's how I feel Terry.

[Terryh]

The inability for your child to call you when he or she has an emergency or need is the biggest problem.  Even if it works, great, now what?  The school won't call you and say, "hey your child should come back home due to excellent progress"  They would lose big $$$$.
I don't have the answers, but I know for sure that WWASPS shouldn't be allowed to operate simply because they are run by people that are not qualified in any area that they claim to be experts.  

"One commentator pointed out that when the mafia commits violence, no
one suggests we bomb Sicily.  Today it seems we are, in a symbolic way, not only bombing "Sicily," but are thinking about bombing "Athens" (Iraq)."

http://www.house.gov/paul/congrec/congrec2001/cr112901.htm' target='_new'>Ron Paul, 11/29/01 Speech before Congress

[TheWho]

I feel very fortunate also.  Based on what I have learned here about various places, I was lucky in my choosing.  I would suggest to other parents to do a lot of research before choosing a TBS.    My daughter and her relationships with myself and her family improved tremendously and she got back on track with her life.

[Terryh]

With all due respect, they are all abusive in some manner.  You did get lucky and your son was capable of overcoming small levels of abuse.  
How long was he in for?
I'm interested to see results of those that have done a full year or more versus those that got the "shock value", but weren't in long enough to be hurt.

You know, too many weirdos out there. At least with you people I know WHY you are weird!!!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Straight_Inc_Alumni/' target='_new'>Kady

[Anonymous]

My son was in 15 months.  He turned 19 a week before his graduation in late summer.  For him, leaving may have meant even more time in High School or just getting a GED.  He was fortunately satisfied to finish something he had started and wanted to go to the college that had accepted him based on sucessful completion of the program.

[Anonymous]

On 2006-05-26 10:43:00, Terryh wrote:

"With all due respect, they are all abusive in some manner.  

With all due respect (and I'm not being a smart ass) ALL High Schools are abusive.  That's what had him spinning out of control in the first place.

[Anonymous]

I am going to disappear now because I have a plane to catch.  We're flying out to get our son and bring him back home for the summer.  Have a good weekend, all.

[Anonymous]

I have a problem with postings saying WWASP is BAD BAD BAD...SO, if you place your child in a non-WWASP facility, than that may just fine.
That is not just fine.
Other programs are very abusive too.
This is how referring companies like PURE operate:  Filling websites with ANTI-WWASP, and then referring children to abusive facilities like Whitmore Academy.
Parents must be very careful.

[Anonymous]

On 2006-05-08 12:55:00, Terryh wrote:

"  Because they require a 90 day notice, I got stuck with almost $18,000.00 of "student loan" debt to repay.  Does anyone know of any resources to fight this?  I

The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either, but right through every human heart.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0060007761/circlofmiamithem' target='_new'>Alexander Solzhenitsyn

"

Sounds to me like they were in breach of their contract with you to provide adequate care and education -- I think I would tell them to go pound sand.  If they want to come after you get a lawyer...

My son is in a well run program -- so I am not a program basher but if you didn't get what they advertised then you should not have to pay... My son's school has no "minimum" and I pay with the credit card just in case I need to dispute the charge.

I'd have a nice lawyer write a nasty letter and tell them that if they go any further with this or attempt to damage your credit you are going to counter sue them for fraud amoung other things.

If Darrington needs to reimburse the finance company so be it.. they have plenty of money and remember these were not actual damages... it takes two to make a contract.

Good luck

[Anonymous]

And of course on this thread we have TheWho and the anonymous brigade claiming to have "success" in another program.

It's a lie, pure and simple.

If the kid's real, he'll eventually learn to hate you.