Author Topic: Addie Harris???  (Read 10779 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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Addie Harris???
« Reply #30 on: May 29, 2006, 12:23:00 AM »
I say bitter instead of affronted, annoyed, antagonized, angry, chafed, choleric, convulsed, cross, displeased, enraged, exacerbated, exasperated, ferocious, fierce, fiery, fuming, furious, galled, hateful, heated, hot, huffy, ill-tempered, impassioned, incensed, indignant, inflamed, infuriated, irascible, irate, ireful, irritable, irritated, maddened, nettled, offended, outraged, passionate, piqued, provoked, raging, resentful, riled, sore, splenetic, storming, sulky, sullen, tumultuous, turbulent, uptight, vexed, wrathful

Because that is how it comes across to me the reader of your posts. You obviously have a VERY strong view point as to your experience. That is fine. My question is why does that need to be brought into all the conversations. This post started out as looking for Addie. A lost friend who shared GOOD times and BAD with people at mms.

I would have thought that you had harped on mms enough. Find a new subject.

What was your favorite time there, or who was your best friend? What staff member (not core staff) effected your stay the most? What was your favorite pet, Rascal the dog, bunnies, Billy the cat, or the horses? Kat you?re what 28 or so now right? You were at mms when you were 14, move on. I understand that you have your "fight", good for you that you have found something in your life that you are passionate about. My question to you is when was the last time you were at mms? Maybe you have been there recently, I don't know. I just know that I when I read through these posts, yours always strike me as very harsh. Even you?re joking in the one about Jessica. Never about the time when we had to go winter camping and how much fun that was (here is my attempt at a joke), or the time that we were biking behind the school and ran right into a bear. What happened to all those times? They seem like they have been washed away by the anger. Sit back for a minute and think about the other times, the times that we were just being girls!
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Offline katfish

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Addie Harris???
« Reply #31 on: May 29, 2006, 11:21:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-05-28 21:23:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I say bitter instead of affronted, annoyed, antagonized, angry, chafed, choleric, convulsed, cross, displeased, enraged, exacerbated, exasperated, ferocious, fierce, fiery, fuming, furious, galled, hateful, heated, hot, huffy, ill-tempered, impassioned, incensed, indignant, inflamed, infuriated, irascible, irate, ireful, irritable, irritated, maddened, nettled, offended, outraged, passionate, piqued, provoked, raging, resentful, riled, sore, splenetic, storming, sulky, sullen, tumultuous, turbulent, uptight, vexed, wrathful



on what basis is my question...let us not forget molested... wrathful comes awfully close to bitter, no?  hmmm...thersauraus is missing a few terms... is sarcasm an adjective related to anger... all humor is related to anger. :wink:


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Because that is how it comes across to me the reader of your posts.

oh, i see... hmmmm...the reader... you...I'm afraid I don't see much to be done about that given that I wasn't close to that many girls at MMs, the few I was I remain close friends wtih today. The others that I wish to know again are not here.  so, for instance if it feels like I'm tearing apart Jessica for instance, I can't say that my line inquiry is less about making friends again with the annynoymous baby love but gathering information... perhaps that's why my interactions feel less....um,,, chummy??  I'm not at all concerned about that.  Individuals have reached out to me, I'm confident I'm accessible enough.

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You obviously have a VERY strong view point as to your experience.

as well as the illegality of much of MMS actions, the very nature of their program, the lack of efficacy, the false advertisment, the misleading, the censorship, the intimidation, the constant fear, the general absence of therapuetic milleu... there's more but I have to go to the gym before work... not from a stricly subject perspective.  I speak with students who left MMS recently, and it's the same of stuff.  So, yes, I'm a take a very firm postion.

Quote
That is fine. My question is why does that need to be brought into all the conversations. This post started out as looking for Addie. A lost friend who shared GOOD times and BAD with people at mms.



yea, and?  as stated above, gathering of information. This is an MMS forum, as you may know or not, much revovles around the problems surrounding this industry... I guess that ultimately the best place to talk about the wonderfl aspects of John and Colleen are generally best reserved for myspace.com MMS site, or here if you'd like, but I don't see my (purposeful) inquiry ending soon.  And my take on that is that the denial of the bad makes talking about the positive seem as if others are in denial or white washing the experience.  Example, we had a private MMS forum, we shared both the negative and the positive.  The issue about jumping right into the positive appears superficial and following the MMS party line.
I woudln't care if I didn't know first hand and speaking form others just eh level of fear and how the sense of betrayl of MMS- John, Colleen still, 10 years later, makes girls not want to talk.  Powerful stuff- ultimately not only do I not want to support that, I don't want the idea that MMS was exclusively grand to get out there.  obviously it wasn't... so again, bitter not so sure, but a million other things yes.  Sorry (kinda) if you don't understand.

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I would have thought that you had harped on mms enough. Find a new subject.


um, no thank you?  why does this matter to you?  Do I insist you find a new subject?  Being an MMS forum, um... MMS is the topic in question.  I want to know the impact, that's the only reason I'm here.  If I happen to connect w/ passed loved ones, great!  But that's not my purpose.


Quote



What was your favorite time there,

I liked sitting on that little pearch area when we went winter camping (which I actually liked and still do in upstate NY- suprisingly)and hanging out on the snow.
(the sad thing is even as I write that there are a million negative (unethical, immoral) things creeping in my mind- so can't help but thing- wow, that was beautiful and powerful... but that I think about how the next day John 'nailed' Stephanie and made her stare at the sun for hours in one of his psuedotherapuetic moves... it's just impossible for me to glaze over.  If you had spoken to Blaire, for instance, who recenly killed herself about MMS, of Claire, or whomever who expresses how MMS destroyed their life and how now intenst therapy is needed, or who have destroyed themselves completetly-- perhaps this would be an issue for you as well, don't know...  While I'm all for personal responsibility, these young girls needed to be helped, not tormented... they needed not to have additional trauma... for some I feel like MMS broke the camels back, they were at a cross roads and were sent to a place that... well, we all know.
Quote
or who was your best friend? What staff member (not core staff) effected your stay the most? What was your favorite pet, Rascal the dog, bunnies, Billy the cat, or the horses?

Sara Marm of course!!  Still is!  I loved Tanya- spoken about her on other forums. Were are you Tanya!  She gave me a diary as a going away present.  She was nice and caring.  Didn't care much for the animals.

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Kat you?re what 28 or so now right? You were at mms when you were 14, move on. I understand that you have your "fight", good for you that you have found something in your life that you are passionate about. My question to you is when was the last time you were at mms? Maybe you have been there recently, I don't know. I just know that I when I read through these posts, yours always strike me as very harsh.

I'm 26 and I haven't been to MMS since I graduated, but I speak to girls who left not even a few months ago... again, your suggestion to move on is just as obnoxious as when others have said it to me or anyone who says anything negative about MMS.  I work for A START sponsored by University of South Florida's Dept of Child and Familiy Studies, so there's really no moving on- this is part of my paid work.   I've started an organization with several friends on this issue, so there is no real moving on... certainly would not move on for your benefit, so that you can find permission and space to think exclusively happy thoughts about a facility that has harmed so many.  Ok, so I can be harsh, I accept that about myself.
If someone has a personal issue with that I think most know I'm all ears... unless their's the denial thing going on, which I have little tolerance for at this point.

Quote
the time that we were biking behind the school and ran right into a bear. What happened to all those times? They seem like they have been washed away by the anger. Sit back for a minute and think about the other times, the times that we were just being girls!



Ok, you're kidding right? my guess is you just don't get it, that's fine by me- just as you say it's fine by you that I have a strong View point but beyond the fact that I HATE HATE HATED BIKING, that was the worst activity part of MMS
 I've said, I've remenised about those times, but it feels like I'm being fake to discuss them at any length w/ individuals who wish to bury the harm MMS brought upon many.  It's like a Jew talking about a concentration camp and insisting they wish to speak only about the good times.  Who are you to suggest it's time to move on or not and who are you to dictate the terms of these discussion.  What's more, who are you to suggest you know much more beyond these post to suggest bitterness? (not saying MMS was like a concentration camp, per se)  I have here and there spoken of 'good times'.  But I like to see the whole picture- the reality.  
MMS destroyed a huge part of me, I can't deny that at every turn I was scared and most everything was done out of fear,Girl things where not that, but they were 'little' girl things done which remind me once more of how much of a regressed state I went into, very child like and just how much of myself and my own truth and reality I put aside- including acting giddy and child like, or even just playing around acting like they wanted me to act- I  have much choice in the matter, for that reason those joyful moments take on a the taint of reality and are far less joyful than you suggest.  
Significant memories were always one on one, those people know their value, nuff said.  

So yes, while on the one hand getting blisters after pciking dandelions for weeks straight out in the field- de weeding, or chopping wood for John,  sucked and for that reason is freaken funny... as an adult, when we look back, that wasn't funny at all.  We did their labor for them, we were locked up, prisoners not patients or clients with rights and respect.  
So, ha ha, may have gotten me through the day,and years later, now, because I know better, understand ethics in mental health (or in general).  I am morally  so strongly opposed I just can't find the humor at the level of denial you seem to wish to persue this joyful recollection.  It can be funny, but not for long... the exception (though rare) is unless I know someone is on the same page and it's not a denial laugh, but a real facing reality, acknowledging it and then laughing laugh.  i have had those laughs with people on forums and over the phone.... Still, I don't want to mislead and contradict, have people think oh, kat thinks that was funny at my or their expense. I know girls are being harmed right now.  I know this and it's just not funny to me to know that these girls are going through what I went through 10 years ago.  

I wouldn't want to send them mixed messages, because I'm not one who denies reality for the sake of warm fuzzy feelings- not on this issue at least.  I take this very seriously.
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Offline katfish

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« Reply #32 on: May 29, 2006, 11:25:00 AM »
turning the tables a minute- tell me the BAD about MMS, I'll tell you the GOOD?
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #33 on: May 29, 2006, 12:57:00 PM »
LOL, how funny is this shit, oh yea, lets all talk about the roses growing over in Iraq and the happy memories of Bush's invasion, let's just laugh about this despite the killing of Al Jazeer journalists... can't we all just be happy and MOVE ON?  Dang, its been yeeeeeeeeeeeeeears already.  Forgive and forget, the US motto.  

can't we all just be in support of this MeD's la la land dreamworld?  we rely on these people teach our kids, damn scary?
even scarier the way each person deals with or denies trauma, aint it?
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #34 on: May 29, 2006, 01:13:00 PM »
oh yeha,i also wanted to say, YEA lets move on!!!  and yeah, Fuck the girls at MMS NOW, WHO CARES, we have NO RESPONSIBILITY to them WHATSOEVER and if they come here well tell them to MOVE ON TOO! so what if John is yelling at them, TORMENTING AND TERRORIZING THEM and preying on them? just like we were once fucked they are fucked and that's just life.  Its better we just don't say anything dont you think?. lets justtalk about the fun happy times, yeah yea?  whatdya say?  happy happy joy joy.  and yea fuck justice? Cat its all a figment in your subjective imagination so please for REAL, MOVE ON you angry WANKER! FUCK!
sheesh seriously i can't imagine why anyone would be so bitter?
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Offline katfish

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« Reply #35 on: May 29, 2006, 02:00:00 PM »
Yes, I do find the 'move on' bit to be the most common and uninsightful comment of all time on this forum. :scared:

And I don't agree with the fact that b/c we were mistreated that it's ok to let others be mistreated, pe :rofl:

I also wanted to ask, what's this about Al Jazeera, recent incident?
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Offline BarnardlyB

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« Reply #36 on: May 29, 2006, 02:05:00 PM »
Kat,
I must agree with Anon. Of course i would right? haah
I guess my question is, why not read the clip of Jessica, sit back, take a breath and say, you know what, good for her. Im happy for her.
Why bring up questions that many believe are unnecessary when being informed of her current situation....
I saw her at the reunion and remember the first graduation when I saw her, she was really really really skinny. She looked good and I am happy for her.


Kat, I want you to understand, I love all the girls that I knew from MMS still and always will. I feel a deep bong and connection with all of them. Even though I dissagree with you on many many issues of MMS. I will always care for you. Always have and always will.
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Offline BarnardlyB

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« Reply #37 on: May 29, 2006, 02:18:00 PM »
"If you had spoken to Blaire, for instance, who recenly killed herself about MMS,"


Just for everyones info.
Blaire, who yes had a ton of issues about MMS.
DID NOT, I repeat DID NOT set out and kill herself on that day specifically about MMS. Have you talked to Chris Kat?? On that day, MMS was far from her mind.


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you are you
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Two individuals dancing on our own two feet, & when were together...its beautiful[ This Message was edited by: BarnardlyB on 2006-05-29 11:22 ]
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ou are you
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Offline katfish

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« Reply #38 on: May 29, 2006, 03:08:00 PM »
I'm sure its understood that people going to off themselves aren't thinking of past trauma, but instead of present despair.  Anytime I was suicidal after MMS, even immediately after MMS I wasn't thinking of John's face, for instance. I don't think it all peiced together logically in the way I can peice it together now.

Anyway, I've said my peace.  I don't see how person's X's view of relevancey should cloud my own. But you  already know this.
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Offline katfish

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« Reply #39 on: May 29, 2006, 03:13:00 PM »
i see, no I wasn't saying that Blaire killed herslef 'about ' MMS, worded incorrectly, didn't include a comma there.

I meant to write:

"If you had spoken to Blaire, for instance who recenly killed herself, about MMS...

In other words of person X has spoken to Blaire (the young woman who killed herself) she would possibly understand that MMS harmed some girls to the point where they were made worse to such a degree that additinoal recovery was needed- but clearly never obtained- I think an overall problem that is worsened when people are dismissive and say thing like MOVE ON, which really can and has been said from a year after graduating to now and all the time in between.  Folks who are traumatized and have no where to turn come/or came here... I think it a callous precident that has been set.
  Point being therapy needed prior to MMS and after MMS even more therapy needed. If real therapy had been offered/received by say Blaire or Angel and god knows how many young girls who found MMS traumatice, at least it would be known that this young woman and others had been offered the best of science- NOT psuedo-science.[ This Message was edited by: katfish on 2006-05-29 12:18 ]
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Offline katfish

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« Reply #40 on: May 29, 2006, 03:21:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-05-29 11:05:00, BarnardlyB wrote:

Why bring up questions that many believe are unnecessary when being informed of her current situation....

I saw her at the reunion and remember the first graduation when I saw her, she was really really really skinny. She looked good and I am happy for her.





"


How am I supposed to know these questions are uneccesary anyway?  That's an assumption I don't make- if their is no relevancy then that may be said.

And yes, she was unbelievabley skinny, hence my questioning.  MMS was trauma filled for me, I can't view it any other way, how can I not expect that MMS had something to do with this and ignore the elephant in the room so to speak?  That just seems absurd to me!
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #41 on: May 29, 2006, 05:37:00 PM »
Shut the FUCK UP, faggot
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #42 on: May 29, 2006, 06:14:00 PM »
FAGGOT!!  ooooooooooooooh weeeeeeeee!!  ah ha ha,
 
Faggot better run run cuz daddy's home.
His sweet lil' boy just a little too sweet
Every night the man showed the faggot what a real man should be
The man and the faggot will never see
for so many can't even perceive a real man Tell me

Not that the faggot didn't find a woman fine and beautiful
He admired desired their desires
He wanted love from strong hands
The faggot wanted the love of a man

His mother would pray
Save him, save him, save him from this life

Go to church boy
Faggot you're just a prisoner of your own perverted world
No picket fence acting like a bitch
cause that's all he sees
ain't that what faggot means
No love dreams
Only the favors sweet Michael performed for money to eat
'Cause the man kicked the faggot out the house at 16
Amen mother let it be
Before long he was crowned QUEEN for all the world to see bloody body face down
The wages of sin are surely death that's what mama used to say
So there was no sympathy

Let he without sin walk amongst the hated and feared and know true trial and tribulations
See my dear we're all dying for something searchin' and searchin'
Soon mama found out that god would turn his back on her too

Save me save me from this life
I pray to my Lord above save me they say you're the way the light

...ahem, faggotry is no laughing matter.
 :wstupid:
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Offline katfish

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« Reply #43 on: May 29, 2006, 06:56:00 PM »
Hey Anon, what is the Al Jazeera issue- please pm me or post here???    :rofl:


That is a great post, by the way, Ms. Ndegeocello at her finest... talk about words, damn that women is a fine fine poet!  her eloquence is stunning.  [ This Message was edited by: katfish on 2006-05-29 15:58 ]
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #44 on: May 29, 2006, 08:40:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-05-29 14:37:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Shut the FUCK UP, faggot"


TAKE SIDES.

Nuetrality helps the opressor, never the victim.

Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.

-Eli Wiesel

( and statements like those above are relegated to the ignorant or inferior mental capacity, sad to see someone with such limited means to draw from for the purpose of communicating effectively.  We can all laugh this off because of its stupididty and inherent discomfort in such hostile display that this person would unlikely display if identified, but it does frighten me that among us MMS such a person exists. )
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