Tyler Ranch in Spokane, WA (TBS)

[Anonymous]

OH, the ST Parents have convinced Mom Leslie that this boy can't live at home. He has to go to some community college AWAY FROM HOME. Can't have him at HOME around "those bad kids that might influenced him to be a bad ole druggie kid AGAIN." And, anyway, Mom Leslie has a new boyfriend, and ST Parents SAY it's Leslie's time to LIVE FOR HERSELF and not this son!
Reading that ST forum really is entertaining, if you can try to overlook the fact they are messing with kids's lives.

[Nihilanthic]

On 2006-05-01 16:43:00, Anonymous wrote:

"OH, the ST Parents have convinced Mom Leslie that this boy can't live at home. He has to go to some community college AWAY FROM HOME. Can't have him at HOME around "those bad kids that might influenced him to be a bad ole druggie kid AGAIN." And, anyway, Mom Leslie has a new boyfriend, and ST Parents SAY it's Leslie's time to LIVE FOR HERSELF and not this son!

Reading that ST forum really is entertaining, if you can try to overlook the fact they are messing with kids's lives."

Well, as Jena said, its about the parents, and about support for parents.

As I've said, its all about them. Sorry for my lack of surprise  :roll:

[AtomicAnt]

On 2006-05-01 13:51:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Maybe Leslie is trying to avail herself of the tremendous wisdom on fornits.  Since there are so many of you that are experts on ALL programs, she is now naming the program so that you can offer her your expertise.  You can share with her all the specific instances of abuse that you know from personal experience have occurred at Tyler Ranch. You can direct her to the factual reports about this program which show that it benefits no one and is abusive.  Oh, wait. You don't know anything about it? How can that be?"

Leslie is an idiot that needs far more help than her college bound son does. The boy is shopping for schools and concerned about how his tuition is going to be paid? This is a problem? Don't we all wish we had these kinds of problems?

As a Mom, she should be reassuring the boy that no matter what, the family will see to it that he gets the funds to get his degree and all the boy need worry about is his grades. If they can afford his program, they can afford community college. If the can't afford both, sacrifice the program.

As a Mom she should be asking Greg if he has expressed his feelings to his Dad about his Dad's absence from his graduation. What is wrong with this father? No wonder his kid is fucked up when the father won't even make an effort to attend his graduation.

As a Mom, she should not be so sensitive to the repetitive annoying questions of a teenager. Relax. Tell the kid to chill, everything is under control. As his parent it is her responsiblity to make sure everything really is under control.

As an adult, Leslie should not be so vulnerable as to allow a kid to 'get to her' like that. If she does, he will.

Not everyone is cut out be a parent. Leslie is too emotionally frail for the job. So, blame the kid and ship him to a facility?! Nice.

Of course Greg does not respect his mother. She doesn't deserve it. I don't respect her either. Any program that says he should respect her is a fucked up program.

[AtomicAnt]

On 2006-05-01 13:51:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Maybe Leslie is trying to avail herself of the tremendous wisdom on fornits.  Since there are so many of you that are experts on ALL programs, she is now naming the program so that you can offer her your expertise.  You can share with her all the specific instances of abuse that you know from personal experience have occurred at Tyler Ranch. You can direct her to the factual reports about this program which show that it benefits no one and is abusive.  Oh, wait. You don't know anything about it? How can that be?"

Leslie admits in her post she uses psychotropic drugs. It is clear she has low self esteem.

It is obvious that Leslie needs to be in a program!

Yes, let's take this drug using, whining, disrespectful waste of a parent and toss her ass into a tough love program that will break her, really, really, reaaly, hard. And then they can build her up with some spine in her jello body and make her show some respect to her son.

In fact, let's place Greg in charge of her. He is clearly more competent. He should take control over all of her affairs; her money and property, her relationships, when she gets to come home, if ever, the whole shot.

Enough with the soft talking psychologists and 'panic pills.' Get this bitch into a program. She deserves.. uh, I mean needs one.

[Badpuppy]

Let me talk to you a bit about the opening up situation. DON'T OVEREMPHATHISE IT'S IMPORTANCE. For some kids talk therapy is not the way the reach them. Preparing them with good vocational skills to go out and find a job they love, a job that will consume the major activity of their life is a lot more therapuetic than siting around in an office or group getting touchy, feely.
     His reluctance to open up may actually be doing him more good than harm, because it preserves his sense of empowerment. Because he is in a situation involuntarily, his lack of communication preserves his personal boundaries and helps him from feeling helpless and impotent. His first real serious girlfreind will do a much better job than a probing therapist in a place where he is incarcerated. Try and see it from his point of view without judging it. He was doubly abandonded by his father and you.  How much trust should he have? People make themselves emotionally vulnerable with people they trust. Add to that he having a little fun by driving his therapist and you nuts about this.
Working and Community College sounds like a great idea. A lot of stupid teen tricks get resolved when their brains mature in the prefrontal cortex area (controls impulses). And a lot of behavior is idiosyncratic to family dynamics.  Try this proposition "my son is not a touchy feeling kind of guy and that is just fine with me. Remember that his therapist has his image, ego, and competence wrapped up in how well his patients emote. In a ten year timeframe whether your kid emotes at this point in his life is meaningless. Say, "he's got a little fight left in him, that's not to bad.[ This Message was edited by: Badpuppy on 2006-05-01 19:13 ]

[Anonymous]

I love my son, and do care about him.  I didn't even know about your site until just the other day when someone from st mentioned it, so I thought I would look at it, and ask if anyone knew about Tyler Ranch and that is all.

No, I am not a FUCK UP MOTHER, in fact I am a good Mother who cares about her son.  Sorry you think otherwise.  I need to re-read what all of you wrote and will respond later.  I do appreciate all that you say, and don't take it lightly, true, I am on st a lot, but it has been very helpful for me, as a parent.  I will be 45 in June, (just so you know my age), with boyfriend, and unemployed at this time, but hopefully will find a job soon. Some of you ask why I am asking you now about Tyler Ranch, well, I didn't know anything about your site before now, and obviously none of you know about it, and that is fine.  

I don't think the answer for every "bad" kid is therapy, or sending them away, but if one of you were here when he was doing what he was doing, then maybe you would have a different opinion, maybe not.  your choice, my choice.  

I do respect your site, just so you know.  Please respect ST site, as it is for parents who are going through a really hard time, and unless you are parents, I am sorry, but even though you think you know what you are talking about, you don't until you have lived it.  The year before I sent my son away, I had to call the police 4-5 times (911 calls), afraid that my son would hurt me, afraid for my life (as I have pictures of what he has done to me in the past).  Some people told me to send him to a lock up, but NO I could not and would not do that, he is no that bad.  Some said to change the locks on the doors to my house, NO, I couldn't do that either, nor did I have the strength anymore to do that.  I did what I could, and now I am very proud of him, graduating from HS on time, and he is the one who wants to go to college.

Thank you all that have replied to me, good or bad, I have no problems with you swearing at me or whatever you have to say to me, and I will think about whatever you say to me.  I am not a parent who will ignore my son once he turns 18, not me at all, I will always be there for him if he needs me.  I do love my son and always will.

Leslie

[Anonymous]

Leslie,
Most have read your posts on ST, after it was obvious who you were. This is not some "battle" between ST and Fornits. You will not convince anyone here that placing your son in a program was "right." Revealing the most private information about your son is unwise, and if and when he read all this--YOU will find yourself explaining WHY to him. Do you not think this young man deserves some privacy? When do you start forgiving him, believing in him, helping HIM? You are missing the POINT. This is not about YOU. I'm sorry you are unemployed, have panic attacks, that you are scared of your own son, and feel you have a worthless ex-husband. But, we're talking about an 18 year old kid, here. Sounds like he has more maturity working than you. If you can afford to have him at Tyler Ranch, then you can well-afford some damn community college!! So quit whining, and gossiping to the whole world about your OWN SON, and get busy helping this boy through college. Be a responsible adult, mother. Spend some of your ST posting time and find a damn job!

[Anonymous]

Just read some more of your responses>

I am not an idiot, and yes, I will help my son pay for college, he is the one who wants to go to community college out of the state of Alaska.  Why doesn't he want to be here, not because of me, sure maybe some, but I won't know until I see him in June, but because he owes people money from his past gambling issues, and he has told me so in a letter and on the phone.  

Someone asked if Greg has expressed his feelings to his Dad about his Dad not going to his graduation.  I don't know.  I asked my son about this and he said it is ok.  My Mom (85 years old) was going to go with me, but recently fell and fractured her left shoulder, and can't fly right now, and Greg understands that.  My Mom and I are giving Greg a laptop and printer for his grad. present.  

Good question, what is wrong with the Father!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for asking!!  Too long of a story to tell you, but in my marriage to him, he was the controller, now he is married to a Russian woman and they have two kids together, and Greg's Fathers wife controls everything, which is a horrible shame.  Greg's Father is missing out on a lot with Greg.  

You are right I am too emotionally involved, and my son turns 18 tomorrow, and I will step back and let him make his own decisions, good or bad.  Have to see how it turns out.  

He is nervous about being here for 4-5 days, I know it, as he has told me, and the car (a jeep) that his Dad is going to give to him, Greg wants to park it in my garage, and I asked why, and he told me he is afraid of who might realize that he is here.  

Someone said, that I am too emotionally frial for the job as my son's parent, but I may be, but I am doing the best I can.  He wrote me a letter after the first day of wilderness and also after 1 week of the Ranch, and he was not mad at me.  Thanksgiving I was with him, and he was not mad at me, but said he would work hard on his grades and wants to do better in life, that hanging with his "so called friends as he put it", put himself in the hole and the deep end, and actually 2 so called friends ratted on Greg, and I told him about it, and he wasn't happy.  

Someone said, "Let's get the bitch in a program", I resent that you said that, but say what you want to say, I did what I did, and that is that.  None of you know about Tyler Ranch, so I guess this is the end for me, but if you don't mind, I will from time to time read some of your posts.  

Thanks

Leslie
ps,  I am not a bitch, I am not an idiot, and I do care and love my son and he knows it, in fact if you don't believe me, I'll let you call him when he is home.

[Anonymous]

Skipping the bullshit, we reach...

"I'll let you call him when he is home."

This ought to be good.

[Anonymous]

What the hell is wrong with you Lady? You don't let strangers call your son!  And ask him what? Question him about GOSSIP his own mother has posted abut him all over the internet?
I want you to learn about boundaries, Leslie.
Your son has a therapist--or at least you say he does. That is who he SHOULD BE TALKING TO.
You want to justify yourself, and your actions, and your decisions.
WHAT PART OF:  IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU, do you not understand?
This is your son's life.
You have posted over and over about financial aid for your son's COMMUNITY College expenses.
It's been said already:  If you can afford Tyler Ranch...you can damn well afford a community college.
Now shut up your whiny ass, and get busy taking care of your son.

[Anonymous]

Does it really matter if we do believe you? Why the sudden outpouring of souls from ST parents here lately? Did their board shut down or something?

[Anonymous]

Leslie, you just posted on ST it is "the discussion group you like and love and find the most helpful."
So, why are you posting here on fornits? huh?

[Anonymous]

I think you are going to get more and more posters from ST because three or four of the regulars around here have been trolling there.

[Nihilanthic]

On 2006-05-01 20:30:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Does it really matter if we do believe you? Why the sudden outpouring of souls from ST parents here lately? Did their board shut down or something?"

No, I pissed them off, but they cant engage me there, cos I'm b&, so they came here.

Or something.

[Anonymous]

On 2006-05-01 20:30:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Did their board shut down or something?"

Don't we all wish?