sexual fetishes brought about by the Seed!

[Anonymous]

Ohh, all of us poor young sexually impressionable kids ... subjected to relentless domination.

I KNOW that had to have affected a lot of you (I mean: us) sexually. We're so sexually "imprintable" at that age!

I remember a girl, I think her name was Lori. I'd ask her desperately if I could go to the bathroom, and she'd look at me coolly and just turn away.

And tes, "that" turned into a little sexual fantasy of mine -- something I'm sure my dad wasn't intending when he sent his 11-year-old daughter to be "rehabbed."   :razz:  :razz:

[Anonymous]

Yes, me too - I enjoy sex in large groups of people.  I especially enjoy it durring zippidy do da. but Michael row your boat ashore seems to not do it for me for some reason.

[cleveland]

Sometimes, when I was a long-term oldtimer, early to mid-twenties, 'straight' for five years or more, and I would look at all the attractive, young kids at the Seed, and I would think - what are we doing! These are supposed to be happy days of being young, falling in love, learning about sex! It's the garden of eden, and we are all acting like polyester amish or something, singing zipadee doo daa with a middle-aged man with a ukelele!

Then I'd remember what a fuck-up I was, and return to furtive fantisies.

[Anonymous]

On 2006-04-24 06:31:00, cleveland wrote:

"Sometimes, when I was a long-term oldtimer, early to mid-twenties, 'straight' for five years or more, and I would look at all the attractive, young kids at the Seed, and I would think - what are we doing! These are supposed to be happy days of being young, falling in love, learning about sex! It's the garden of eden, and we are all acting like polyester amish or something, singing zipadee doo daa with a middle-aged man with a ukelele!



Then I'd remember what a fuck-up I was, and return to furtive fantisies. "

Oh, I know. But for those teenagers, there was no way to avoid having their sexuality "affected," one way or the other, by all of this. Believe me,  those refrains of zippity-doo-dah did not completely "turn off" the sexuality of these kids -- although it might have been intended to.

I saw a girl on one of these threads say she had the hots for Art, and sadly, she was lambasted. A lot of young girls must have been affected that way though -- not necessarily by Art himself (although I think cult leaders are OFTEN the object of sexual ideation in their followers), but in the sense of having their soft young "sexual selves" imprinted with somewhat bizarre desires based on arbitrary authority and such.

[cleveland]

Yes, and I had a huge crush on one of the female staff members, made more powerful by the fact that she had so much power over me. She had in fact, shown me kindness, but she was also 'brutally' honest with me, pointing out my faults and weaknesses. And I am certain my 'crush' was noted, and was used to control me. I actually worked up the cajones to go to another staff member, and seek permission to ask this girl out. He almost laughed at me. I was turned down, and at this point I began to realize what a fantasy world I was living in, that my poor fantasies of being a happily married Seed kid were all false. Maybe if I had stuck around long enough, a female partner of more or less equal status might have been assigned to me, with Art's approval (that's the way it worked towards the end). Like an arranged marriage. Imagine that. I wonder who I would have ended up with.

[Anonymous]

Well, ahem, I was available -- but, alas, many years short of being "legal."  :smile:

[NOT12NOW]

Anonymous who began this thread, were you in the Cleveland seed?

[Anonymous]

On 2006-04-25 08:10:00, NOT12NOW wrote:

"Anonymous who began this thread, were you in the Cleveland seed?
"

No, Ft. Lauderdale. But I was in Cleveland last week.  :smile:

[NOT12NOW]

I thought you might have been my newcomer.   I wanted to apologize.  I guess I could probably apologize for yours-- we were all tentacles after all.  Though, I was pretty cruel, I think it was because I didn't get to prove myself straight in any other way.  Since I was small, and twelve myself, they said I wasn't big enough to work the front desk and most newcomers were just too old for me to have any kind of authority over so I had one poor eleven year old newcomer that I was determined to make straight really fast.  I am glad they took her out of my house after a few weeks.

[GregFL]

I had two captives (newcomers) and I can't remember either one of their names.  I think my behavior was awful but I was 14 and mimicing what I had learned from watching other oldcomers.  Thinking back, it was a status symbol to have a prisoner under your direct control.

what a sick system we were subjected to.

[Anonymous]

i remember my oldcomer was extremely domineering, controlling, and mean, to the point that i wasnt even allowed to go to the bathroom alone while we were at home - and i knew at the time he purposely positioned himself so that i was fully exposed to him while peeing, and had to shower and dry off and all in front of him too.  not really a sex fantasy - but this thread just reminded me of this - i am positive he was gay and was just getting his cheap thrill at my expense.  he vanished rather quickly after graduating (he was from out of state), luckily i was only his new comer for a couple weeks.

[Anonymous]

On 2006-04-26 10:18:00, NOT12NOW wrote:

"  I thought you might have been my newcomer.   I wanted to apologize.  I guess I could probably apologize for yours-- we were all tentacles after all.  Though, I was pretty cruel, I think it was because I didn't get to prove myself straight in any other way.  Since I was small, and twelve myself, they said I wasn't big enough to work the front desk and most newcomers were just too old for me to have any kind of authority over so I had one poor eleven year old newcomer that I was determined to make straight really fast.  I am glad they took her out of my house after a few weeks.
"

Oh, I was really touched by this. Hey, think of "Lord of the Flies."  There isn't a twelve-year-old around who isn't vulnerable to that kind of thing. Thank God my dad was too mean to even allow newcomers in our house (not that the Seed ever invited it, because like you, I was too small to undertake such a thing). God knows what damage I might have done (in my desperation and insecurity) to some poor little kid, if I'd have been put in that position.  

I like your nick a lot, by the way. Yeah, thank God, we're not twelve anymore.

[Anonymous]

Thanks, it's wonderful be reminded that I wasn't inherently bad.   I realized, after I posted, that anon probably wasn't my newcomer.  I put together several anon posts and started to feel sure she was one person.  
I guess, I really do feel badly.

[Anonymous]

the above message is NOT12NOW, system won't let me sign on.