Author Topic: A Negative Experience  (Read 10933 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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A Negative Experience
« Reply #15 on: March 28, 2006, 08:40:00 PM »
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On 2006-03-28 17:28:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
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On 2006-03-28 11:27:00, Anonymous wrote:


"So why did you leave your son at hyde for two years if it so bad?"




Once all of us realized how bad Hyde is we were well into the academic year.  We told our kid that we were prepared to lose the money we paid Hyde and switch to another school.  Our child decided that another transition in the middle of the year didn't make sense; she decided to stick it out, which we really admired.  We spent the rest of the year looking for another school.  Our kid is now doing SO much better in a school that puts Hyde to shame.  Hyde was a terrible environment for all of us."


where is she going now?
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Offline Anonymous

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A Negative Experience
« Reply #16 on: March 29, 2006, 12:26:00 AM »
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On 2006-03-28 02:12:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I also went to Hyde School 30 years ago and am somewhat amazed to come across this forum. I can?t think of a more disingenuous and destructive place for an adolescent. While the basic premises of character building and tough love seem worthy, and may even work for some who went to Hyde,  the overall environment that was created was unhealthy, not to say bizarre.



After 1972 the school became increasingly strident and hysterical. Joe Gauld threw the most outrageous tantrums, shrieking and ranting accompanied by a Hitleresque  waving of arms, which in any sane place would have been viewed as unacceptable and aberrant. At Hyde these were perceived as justified and that the recipient must have provoked them by a lack of willingness to accept some deep truth about themselves. I have since learned such behavior is always a cheap, manipulative power play.



The over-emotionalism at Hyde was particularly unhealthy. Manufactured crises, whether of individuals or over the school?s direction, was always accompanied by wailing and crying as people confessed their supposed shortcomings and confronted others. There was an incredible lack of privacy, with every aspect of a student?s life scrutinized by both faculty and peers. The term ?brother?s keeper? was twisted to mean betrayal and students were acclaimed for confronting and making public others? ?negative attitudes,? which really meant maintaining a capacity for independent and critical thinking.



Seminars, now evidently called discovery groups, started out as helpful and supportive, but evolved into a hysterical feeding frenzy as students were confronted over anything from poor athletic performances, which necessarily demonstrated a lack of commitment to themselves, or an inability to ?give? and open up their true feelings. After 1972, these frequently degenerated into screaming and wailing sessions.



When you are involved in this environment on a daily basis, one?s own sense of reality becomes perverted. Because we were basically isolated on campus with parents coerced into supporting the Hyde Way, hysteria and tantrums became normal, even commendable. There was an illusion created that had no basis in reality. This reality was to be perpetuated by students who were willing to make a lifetime commitment to Hyde. Some of these are evidently still there today.



In 1976, one student who couldn?t handle the pressure tried to burn down the Mansion in the middle of the night. As this was the main building at the time, which served as a dormitory, dining area and housed all classrooms, it was a highly dangerous act. While there was considerable damage, there were no injuries.



But perhaps the sickest incident I witnessed occurred in the winter of 1974 and involved the confrontation of a faculty member who will remain nameless. This teacher was a definite Poindexter type, socially challenged but a perfectly decent individual. Evidently he proved unable or unwilling to truly ?give? of himself in the faculty seminar (discovery group). Early one afternoon, then headmaster Ed Legg announced an emergency school meeting and this teacher was hauled in front of students, faculty and staff and confronted.



What followed was a scene right out of Lord of the Flies. Ed Legg set the tone, offering up a damning appraisal of the teacher?s character and deep-seated problem connecting with the school. He then opened the floor to other students and faculty and  240 people set upon the teacher, screaming and crying for two hours, confronting him with how he was not only betraying himself, but the entire school. ?I can?t feel anything you?re saying,? screamed one student. ?I?m so disappointed in you, how could you let us down like this,? sobbed another.



After this incredible emotional purging he was given an opportunity to ?give? something of himself. Obviously in a state of considerable distress, he admitted to an affair he had during the Vietnam War with his best friend?s wife. ?And the damn woman seduced me,? he admitted, choking back tears. This was deemed by faculty and students to be insufficiently giving  and the teacher was judged to not truly be in touch with his feelings. Joe Gauld then closed the meeting saying, ?But the person I feel most bad for is your son.? The teacher had a two-month old baby.



It was all very hysterical, tawdry and pathetic. I remember being shocked and frightened at the time by the emotional intensity of it all. It was a manipulated mob run amuck. As with all of Hyde, the experience had no positive educational value. The only lesson learned was that frightened people in a group feed off each other, and are to be avoided.



To those who feel that people critical of Hyde need to toughen up, my response is there is a difference between toughness and manipulated hysteria and false truth. I had a great deal of unlearning to do as a consequence of my experience at Hyde, which took a number of years. After time past, my parents felt deeply guilty about sending me there. The fact that the same philosophy still exists at the school, and some of the same people, or their offspring, remain in charge is disturbing.  To those considering Hyde as an educational alternative, take note of some of the more sober posts in this forum and consider other alternatives.



Frederick W. Burnside

"

Thank you very much for your honest assesment of Hyde.  I say honest because I experienced the same things 8 years ago. Hyde obviously has always been like this and I thank you for sharing your experience.  I honestly don't know how they get away with what they do, but then again look how many lives our President taken in this war and some people still support him, ha!!
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Offline Anonymous

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A Negative Experience
« Reply #17 on: March 29, 2006, 12:22:00 PM »
I love Hyde
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Offline Anonymous

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A Negative Experience
« Reply #18 on: March 29, 2006, 01:13:00 PM »
hyde rocks

hyde is way ahead in the poll.  I guess the "many" families here can't figure out how to get a yahoo ID.  Maybe that is way they did not get Hyde, too dumb.
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Offline Anonymous

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A Negative Experience
« Reply #19 on: March 29, 2006, 01:25:00 PM »
:rofl:  :tup:
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Offline Anonymous

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A Negative Experience
« Reply #20 on: April 06, 2006, 11:19:00 AM »
The fire was set in the mansion by two students during summer school in the mid-70's. It is my understanding that they thought if they burned down the school, they would get to go home. In fact, there were students and perhaps a faculty member (Tom McCaffrey, maybe?) asleep on the 2nd floor at the time. All got out safely. The parents put the kids into some type of mental health setting so they wouldn't have to go to jail. This is to the best of my recollection. After this, major restoration work was done in the mansion.
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Offline Anonymous

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A Negative Experience
« Reply #21 on: April 06, 2006, 11:35:00 AM »
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On 2006-04-06 08:19:00, Anonymous wrote:

"The fire was set in the mansion by two students during summer school in the mid-70's. It is my understanding that they thought if they burned down the school, they would get to go home. In fact, there were students and perhaps a faculty member (Tom McCaffrey, maybe?) asleep on the 2nd floor at the time. All got out safely. The parents put the kids into some type of mental health setting so they wouldn't have to go to jail. This is to the best of my recollection. After this, major restoration work was done in the mansion."


Yup tom was in the mansion IIRC.  Summer of 75. They went back up stairs to thier dorm rooms after they lit it.  I remember them. I recall one of names...  P.B.  He was a crazy motherf...... .

ann onymus
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Offline Anonymous

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A Negative Experience
« Reply #22 on: April 06, 2006, 07:32:00 PM »
Many of the staff at Hyde are deeply dedicated to what they are doing there. In many cases, they have dedicated their lives to what they believe is a higher purpose, to help kids, families, and the educational system in this country. Many Hyde administrators came to Hyde as idealistic teachers. Many also came as part of the Gauld extended family and the Hyde web of alumni, another form of extended family for many staff.

 My struggle is how to reconcile the staff's view of itself with its actions, which in my own experience were damaging.  What does one do when people do harm when they believe they are doing good?
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Offline Anonymous

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A Negative Experience
« Reply #23 on: April 06, 2006, 09:19:00 PM »
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On 2006-04-06 16:32:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Many of the staff at Hyde are deeply dedicated to what they are doing there. In many cases, they have dedicated their lives to what they believe is a higher purpose, to help kids, families, and the educational system in this country. Many Hyde administrators came to Hyde as idealistic teachers. Many also came as part of the Gauld extended family and the Hyde web of alumni, another form of extended family for many staff.



 My struggle is how to reconcile the staff's view of itself with its actions, which in my own experience were damaging.  What does one do when people do harm when they believe they are doing good? "

Jim Jones also thought he was dedicated to his followers and had a higher purpose in life.  Bigamists think that they are devoted to their many wives.  A child abuser believes he is teaching his child right from wrong by putting his hand in scalding water when he is bad.

There is no way to reconcile the staff's view of themselves or their actions when they are harming others
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Offline Anonymous

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A Negative Experience
« Reply #24 on: April 07, 2006, 06:58:00 AM »
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On 2006-04-06 18:19:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
Quote

On 2006-04-06 16:32:00, Anonymous wrote:


"Many of the staff at Hyde are deeply dedicated to what they are doing there. In many cases, they have dedicated their lives to what they believe is a higher purpose, to help kids, families, and the educational system in this country. Many Hyde administrators came to Hyde as idealistic teachers. Many also came as part of the Gauld extended family and the Hyde web of alumni, another form of extended family for many staff.





 My struggle is how to reconcile the staff's view of itself with its actions, which in my own experience were damaging.  What does one do when people do harm when they believe they are doing good? "


Jim Jones also thought he was dedicated to his followers and had a higher purpose in life.  Bigamists think that they are devoted to their many wives.  A child abuser believes he is teaching his child right from wrong by putting his hand in scalding water when he is bad.



There is no way to reconcile the staff's view of themselves or their actions when they are harming others"


 One of the things I truely like about Joe is that he is totally sincere and believes in his cause.  Belief is very powerful. The fact that the folks around Joe buy in and believe is very powerful and is a key in hydes success.  The spanish inquisition while foder for a great Monty Python skit was a horrific persicution of Jews at the hand of Catholic true believers. How does Hyde keep the karma from running over the dogma?
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #25 on: April 07, 2006, 11:54:00 AM »
I'm kinda getting alittle sick and tired of the Jim Jones analogy.
No one is drinking kool-aid.
You can leave if you want.
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Offline Anonymous

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A Negative Experience
« Reply #26 on: April 08, 2006, 07:29:00 AM »
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On 2006-04-07 08:54:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I'm kinda getting alittle sick and tired of the Jim Jones analogy.

No one is drinking kool-aid.

You can leave if you want."


I agree the Jim Jones and AH analogies are over the top.  I like the Ken Kesey analogy some one posted.
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Offline Anonymous

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A Negative Experience
« Reply #27 on: April 08, 2006, 04:22:00 PM »
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On 2006-04-06 16:32:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Many of the staff at Hyde are deeply dedicated to what they are doing there. In many cases, they have dedicated their lives to what they believe is a higher purpose, to help kids, families, and the educational system in this country. Many Hyde administrators came to Hyde as idealistic teachers. Many also came as part of the Gauld extended family and the Hyde web of alumni, another form of extended family for many staff.



 My struggle is how to reconcile the staff's view of itself with its actions, which in my own experience were damaging.  What does one do when people do harm when they believe they are doing good? "


A major part of Hyde's problem is that there's so much organizational incest.  I agree that some of the staff have dedicated their lives to helping struggling kids.  Part of the problem is that Hyde staff are part of such a closed "system" that they've managed to convince each other of the wisdom of their ways, in spite of all that evidence that some of what they do (not all) is awfully damaging to the students and their parents.  The people who are "married" to Hyde (and sometimes to each other) are like people who live in a commune and have limited contact with the outside world.  You see evidence of this all over the place at Hyde. Lots of the staff seem to seek comfort in Hyde because they've struggled in their own lives and Hyde gives them the structure and purpose they need.  Those who can't hack the incest tend to leave, it seems.
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Offline Anonymous

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A Negative Experience
« Reply #28 on: April 08, 2006, 07:08:00 PM »
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On 2006-04-08 13:22:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
Quote

On 2006-04-06 16:32:00, Anonymous wrote:


"Many of the staff at Hyde are deeply dedicated to what they are doing there. In many cases, they have dedicated their lives to what they believe is a higher purpose, to help kids, families, and the educational system in this country. Many Hyde administrators came to Hyde as idealistic teachers. Many also came as part of the Gauld extended family and the Hyde web of alumni, another form of extended family for many staff.





 My struggle is how to reconcile the staff's view of itself with its actions, which in my own experience were damaging.  What does one do when people do harm when they believe they are doing good? "




A major part of Hyde's problem is that there's so much organizational incest.  I agree that some of the staff have dedicated their lives to helping struggling kids.  Part of the problem is that Hyde staff are part of such a closed "system" that they've managed to convince each other of the wisdom of their ways, in spite of all that evidence that some of what they do (not all) is awfully damaging to the students and their parents.  The people who are "married" to Hyde (and sometimes to each other) are like people who live in a commune and have limited contact with the outside world.  You see evidence of this all over the place at Hyde. Lots of the staff seem to seek comfort in Hyde because they've struggled in their own lives and Hyde gives them the structure and purpose they need.  Those who can't hack the incest tend to leave, it seems.  "


I would disagree.  One the keys to hyde working when it works is the fact it is closed and insular.  The problem is the lack objective metrics and codes of conduct for those acting in that system.  

Another problem I see it question of moral authority raised in other posts. From whence does this authority come?  Are there sevices at Hyde in a chapel? Prayer groups? Bible study?  Who decides what is correct in this code.  Is there a code?  Is the code christian, islamic etc?  Any of the hyde staffers who patrol this list care to weigh in?
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #29 on: April 09, 2006, 07:30:00 PM »
I would like to see a list of staff who have "devoted their lives" to the kids?  I would like to see some of these names other than the close knit family and extended family of Joe Gauld who are in it for the money and the fact that they can't succeed in anything else.  Give us some names of some morally correct and emotionally stable staff at Hyde who have been there for years.  PLEASE!!
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