On 2006-03-09 19:34:00, Anonymous wrote:
"OK- so you have a kid who is stealing, wrecking cars, getting thrown out of school, abusing substances, being violent towards the family, disrespecting everyone- and you suggest rewarding him with a 1 year all-expense paid trip to Europe!
Can I be reincarnated as one of your kids?"
Which can either describe:
a kid who took a few bucks out of your purse, had a fender bender, got suspended for getting in a scuffle with a romantic rival, has been getting drunk at parties on weekends and comes home smelling of burnt oak leaves, slapped Mama *back*, and mouths off....
OR
A kid who stole the neighbor's car and drove it drunk, smashing into a car full of kids driven by a pregnant lady, got expelled for getting caught selling pot in the school bathroom, has track marks all up and down his arm and a meth lab in his room, punched out his little sister, and mouths off.
One's a normal teen who's a bit wild, the other's a juvenile criminal.
With the whole spectrum in between.
Taking it from normal kid all down through the spectrum, you can go pretty far down that spectrum before the kid needs to go to juvie jail, and you can go pretty far down that spectrum handling the individual incidents of bad behavior with Mom Fu.
You know what? If you fuck up badly enough as a parent that your teenager is *almost* but *not quite* bad enough for juvie jail, abuses drugs but isn't an addict, is moody as hell but not actually mentally ill, has hit you or the other parent but not quite bad enough or often enough to call the cops and press charges----if you screwed up bad enough that that's your kid, then that kid's teenage years are just your karma or your cross to bear (depending on your religious orientation) for being ultra-permissive, or ultra-controlling, or spending all your time on other stuff and ignoring the kid, or screwing up your kid's domestic life with marrying a jerk---whatever your major malfunction was, what goes around comes around and that almost-too-terrible kid is your problem that you've earned.
You know what? If you go out and buy all your meals at Burger Thing, and your butt gets fat as a house, you've earned that butt, you've *made* that butt, and you have to live with that butt unless you can somehow work hard enough *in the right way* to make it better.
So, if your kid is all that bad, then you've made that butt and you're stuck with living with that butt. If you work hard with him *in the right way* you might be able to make him be not such a big butt.
Just thank your lucky stars that when you make yourself a big teenage butt you can get rid of him in five years or less.
Julie
