Author Topic: Relationships in general  (Read 16150 times)

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Offline Ramona

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« Reply #15 on: March 13, 2006, 01:49:00 PM »
i'm afraid there's so much anger involved-it's hard to get at the truth.some people have written -parents and students-that they are very grateful for rudy bentz's help-perhaps some are just angry and seeking revenge?? i wish all the people who reply would use less violent language-this doesn't help people who are trying to find out what's going on either with this site or with CEDU. and i'm sorry for adding fuel to the fire. i should have been less reactive. i did not mean to set off a chain of negative reaction![ This Message was edited by:  on 2006-03-13 10:52 ]
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amona

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #16 on: March 13, 2006, 01:53:00 PM »
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On 2006-03-13 10:49:00, Ramona wrote:

"i'm afraid there's so much anger involved-it's hard to get at the truth.some people have written -parents and students-that they are very grateful for rudy bentz's help-perhaps some are just angry and seeking revenge?? i wish all the people who reply would use less violent language-this doesn't help people who are trying to find out what's going on either with this site or with CEDU. "


Well there's a lot of well deserved anger at these sons of bitches so you're either going to have to get past that and read what they're saying instead of how they're saying it....or just leave cause the anger is earned and welcome here.  There is some really great info if you can manage that.
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Offline sooner

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« Reply #17 on: March 13, 2006, 03:54:00 PM »
Okay anonymous...what would you like to say that might make folks really listen?[ This Message was edited by: sooner on 2006-03-13 12:57 ]
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #18 on: March 13, 2006, 04:06:00 PM »
I wrote the Rudy post that was pretty straightforward. He was "nice" to me, but I still contend that his program was totally debilitattive and I've seen evidence of that in many, many students. This was NOT an emotinal growth program.

And yes, soem people have a right to be angry at him when his approach consisited of manipulating parents, humiliating you, and implementing techniques that are unethical and unprofessional.  All the staff crossed major therputic boundaries.  

I know some of the angriest posters personally, and among this group are fantastic parents/ spouses and successful business people and students.  So you can't relegate them as nut jobs who have no life.  But they were still damaged by the program significantly.  We can't talk to regular people about it because "civilians" do not understand the insidious nature of the programs, which were very cult like. So we vent here. Or inform here. We are the ones who understand how this affected our devolopment and ability to trust.  I know many, many former students whose own parents don't know the extent of damage done years later, but they feel safe to come here to post.

I can tell you right now that CEDU is not responsible for every challenge I've ever faced.  But it led me to distance myself from people for over a decade for fear that they would exploit or distort my trust, and also that I was somehow bad, dirty, and shameful even though I had not been bad, dirty, or shameful. I went to CEDU for depression and a sleep disorder that prevented me from doing well academically. These issues were never addressed.  I also experienced some traumatic events that were not my fault. But CEDU did a great job of attributing a sense of shame to all of us.

There is much more to be said, but unless you know what went on in this program, and how scores of people had their confidence broken and trust shattered, I don't think you should judge their anger.
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Offline sooner

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« Reply #19 on: March 13, 2006, 05:39:00 PM »
I don't want to judge anyone's anger...being angry I can understand...just want to make sure it's not clouding the truth...just want to have a better understanding of what's been going on....thank you for your letter.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #20 on: March 13, 2006, 06:08:00 PM »
Clouding the truth? No, the people I know who speak out are credible and also I was there. I'm not angry because I was a bad girl and was sent away. In fact, I asked my parents for help.  This was not the place. The program was inherently, systemically abusive and unethical, BUT even I drank the Kool Aid as a survival mechanism to get through the program. When I left early, I had no one to process it with, so I still brought the whole cult-like mentality that it soemhow saved me which was bullshit. Because we never addressed the issues that got me there. (Really, they were not equipped.)  I wasn't there because I was a danger to anyone.  I was very compliant when I was in the program. A total sheep.  Not because I believed but because I lived in fear there. I did not complain to my parents because every interaction was monitored and I saw what happened to kids who complained.  And how CEDU told parents they were just beig manipulated when I knew better.  That was the stock phrase. (Ex staff who saw the light would verify all of this.)Staff lied about the academics (we even got credit for bogus classes), medical issues, and dirt lists.  To be fair,many of them were caught up in their own hysteria and believed it the same ways the Puritans believed they were saving their community from errant witches.

The other thing is that most of the staff had severe issues themselves.  A licensed therapist is supposed to process their own bullshit before they practice. These unlicensed people just practiced on us, projecting their eating disorders, their promiscuities, their drug addictions, their crimes on us. (I know this, because staff told us their dirt--totally breaching therapeutic boundaries, but also, how can we feel safe with a staff member who admitted to raping somone as a teen? How do I respect a staff member who smared himself in fecal matter and told us all about it?  Or commited bestiality? Do you know how hard it was to be there and listen to this at 16?  By the way, I did not disclose Bentz' dirt... that can found on the other fora. And it's true. ) I know for a fact that some students were badgered relentlessly to confess dirt their staff head had. For example, my family head (staff) was a coke addict, so once he found out that I experimented, that was my label, too. Never mind that I was never an addict, didn't buy it or sell it, and easily gave up experimenting on my own accord half a year before CEDU... he made it my story and I had to adopt it to survive. He also told my parents they had to keep me there or I would be an addict or in jail.  (I don't do any drugs since BEFORE Cedu.)  This type of projection was rampant. I know students who were virgins who were forced to confess to being sluts and someone with urinary problems that was forced to admit she had an eating disorder she never had! Students who were raped were had real trauma in their life were re-traumatized by CEDU's abusive approach to their problems. It was all sick. Some people even confessed to abusing people they never abused.

These people had NO business treating teens. None. Of all the kids there when I was there, many were just spoiled, neglected brats their parents never paid attention to and they turned into overly entitled shits; some were seriously depressed and needed help; some had very, very low self esteem and needed building up; and the minority were going down a real dark road and needed a detour. Incidentally, some of those guys were perfect bullies the CEDU system promoted.
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Offline Antigen

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« Reply #21 on: March 13, 2006, 07:08:00 PM »
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To be fair,many of them were caught up in their own hysteria and believed it the same ways the Puritans believed they were saving their community from errant witches."--
Anon CEDU veteran


http://fornits.com/quotes.php?rno=783

Please let me know if you want me to change the attribution.

First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0826400035/circlofmiamithem' target='_new'> Gandhi

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Offline Goodtobefree

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« Reply #22 on: March 13, 2006, 08:14:00 PM »
I think that last anonymous post sums it up perfectly.  We're not whining about how these programs ruined our lives.  In my case, my life since ASR has been pretty successful by "average standards" After ASR, I graduated with honors from a respectable prep school and went on to college.  Shortly after unexpectedly losing a parent, I decided that a 4 year college wasn't for me, so I went to tech school and I'm currently about a year away from being a state certified welder, and starting an apprenticeship as a skilled metalworker.  I've held jobs consistently and regularly the whole time.  I've never been in legal trouble, I've never been addicted to drugs, and for the most part I've stayed out of trouble, they'd love to call me a success story, but on the other hand, since ASR I go 3 days at a time without sleep, I have frequent flashbacks which intrude horribly on my day to day life, and I have a number of emotional issues that all stem from my time there.

ASR did not ruin my life, but it seriously impaired my developement in a number of ways, and has made every success in my life all the more difficult to accomplish, fighting insomnia, mood swings, flashbacks, depression, and a score of other bullshit that I wouldn't have to deal with if not for all of Rudy Bentz's loathsome influence over my life.  My experiences have been a huge handicap, but I've managed to do pretty well despite what I've endured.  Like all who manage to overcome a handicap, I've become stronger in some ways, but the price I pay is terrible, and no one ever gave me an option.

I speak about this because I think it's important for the truth to have a voice, and too many people lose their ability to stand up for themselves from their experiences in these facilities.  I don't stand to gain anything other than peace of mind, and I'm not going to get any of that if I'm not speaking the truth.  My only self interest (getting closure by voicing my own pain) is irrelevant, because it's not at odds with my desire to speak the truth.  If I try to remember ASR any other way than the way it happened, I'm doing myself a disservice in the process.

Everything I've said on these forums comes from my desire to expose the truth to anyone willing to listen, whether it's a program survivor, a prospective parent, or John Q. Public.  The truth as I see it is simple: these programs have done irreparable harm to countless innocents, and those responsible are a menace.  Rudy Bentz has done so much damage to so many people, the thought of him getting close to those kids is making me nauseous even as I type this post.  From my own personal experience, I've known him to be nothing but a charlatan and a liar, and based on the things I've heard from others who've known him, if all that wasn't enough he's probably a child molester.
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Offline sooner

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« Reply #23 on: March 15, 2006, 01:27:00 AM »
what other fora are you talking about where dirt on rudy bentz can be found?
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Offline Goodtobefree

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« Reply #24 on: March 15, 2006, 03:19:00 AM »
There's a decent amount of information in the Academy At Swift River thread, you just have to sift through the arguing and name calling.  I'm assuming that the CEDU and HLA threads are similar, though I haven't read nearly as much of those.  Not everything necessarily mentions him by name, but he was instrumental in those institutions, and his influence was huge, so there's plenty to learn about him just by reading about the programs.

By the way, here's a link to a little bio on Rudy.  Everybody take a good look at his "credentials".  Oh yeah, this is a guy that I want to be in charge of a child's welfare, safety, education, health, therapy, etc.

http://cache.zoominfo.com/CachedPage/?a ... Name=Bentz[ This Message was edited by: Goodtobefree on 2006-03-15 00:29 ]
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cademy at Swift River 2001-2002, Peer Group 17
Freedom is the most precious thing we have.  Those who would take it from their fellow man deserve not mercy or compassion, only pain and suffering.

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #25 on: March 15, 2006, 08:44:00 AM »
Over twenty-four years experience in experiential and therapeutic education  :scared:
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Offline sooner

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« Reply #26 on: March 27, 2006, 01:56:00 PM »
Were you really served Kool-Aid to drink? At a place that cost five thousand dollars a month??!!
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Offline shanlea

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« Reply #27 on: March 27, 2006, 04:14:00 PM »
I wrote the Kool Aid post, along with a few other anon ones. When we say, drink the kool aid, we mean buy into the whole cultic program.  (Brainwashed.) I believe this is a reference to an old cult where teh leader actually convinced his followers to drink teh Kool Aid--which had fatal poison in it.  They brought into the cult to the extent they were willing to drink poison. And they gave it to their children!
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hanlea

Offline Antigen

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« Reply #28 on: March 27, 2006, 05:45:00 PM »
Yes, Jones Town. You might find this interesting. Jim Jones started out his ministry with, among other things, drug rehab. This was back in the `60's. By `74 and a couple of moves later, he moved his following to Guyana to avoid scrutiny stateside.

It's very, very similar to the Synanon treatment cult stories in a number of ways.

http://www.guyana.org/features/jonestown_20.html

Why should we take advice on sex from the Pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't.
--George Bernard Shaw, Irish-born English playwright

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Offline Goodtobefree

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« Reply #29 on: March 27, 2006, 09:23:00 PM »
Seems like a lot of cults like to use rehab as a recruiting office.  The Scientologists use groups like Narconon to pick up new members, indoctrinating them while they're recovering.  When someone's going through heroin withdrawal, you can convince them of all kinds of crazy shit.
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cademy at Swift River 2001-2002, Peer Group 17
Freedom is the most precious thing we have.  Those who would take it from their fellow man deserve not mercy or compassion, only pain and suffering.